Gwendolyn
by Angel Little
Summary: When Gwendolyn Farr gets her letter to go to Hogwarts she is estatic. The only problem is, Gwen isn't exactly a witch but neither is she a muggle. Now she must face her worst fear and go against her mother. But when she arrives at Hogwarts and finds herse
1. Halls and wands

Disclaimer: It is unfortunate that must admit that all Hogwarts related characters do not belong to me. Sadly, J.K. Rowlings is the true geniius behind them. And another character, Raven Hawkins, is also not mine, she belongs to my bff Diana Lupin, who has her own fanfic on this sight, "Raven". Please R&R on hers as well. It is very good. The only character I have any claim over is Gwendolyn Farr. But please don't let this discourage you. R&R and please tell me what you like.

Chapter 1 

Gwendolyn Farr stared around the huge office that belonged to Headmaster Dumbledore of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Still clutching the admittance letter that had been brought to her by an owl of great dignity by the name of Jinx she looked around with wide eyes. Who'd have ever thought she would be here in Headmaster Dumbledore's office?

It was quite a sight to see. In fact all around her things were making noises that had she not been so nervous would have been worth looking into. She turned her eyes to wall and smiled shyly at the headmasters' and headmistresses' portraits that looked at her curiously. Though most were too busy sleeping to bother.

Next her eyes were riveted upon the claw-footed desk that dominated the room at the very back. It was as golden as the walls themselves were and covered in so many papers she was almost certain there was no desk. She smiled slightly relaxing just a bit for the first time since she had arrived in the room. It reminded her of her Papa, he had never been one to be very tidy.

More curious still she noticed the shelves that lead in huge arc to the back of the room. On their shelves many silver doodads and whirling instruments puffed out smoke. Interested, Gwendolyn found herself walking beside the shelves looking into their glass-protected insides. She had just seen a small sculpture of a fairy when a reflection appeared in the glass just above her face.

Spinning around she found herself face to face with an older man with a long graying beard and twinkling blue eyes that smiled at her through half-moon glasses. He wore a cloak of purple and a smile that did nothing to ease her nervousness even as she smiled back. _Albus Dumbledore…_

Gwendolyn knew she looked shocked. She felt shocked. "I…I'm sorry, Professor…uh, Headmaster. I didn't mean to…"

"Gwendolyn Farr?"

"Yes, sir. That's me. I received your letter, a little late though. Mother wasn't quite sure she wanted to let me come to Hogwarts… after all I am a… well, part-fairy… sir."

"Ah yes, but you are also part witch, yes?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well then. Come sit here."

"Where sir?"

With a wave of his hand a stool magically appeared and Gwendolyn walked over to it barely sitting down when she noticed a red bird seated upon a stand. "A phoenix… I've never seen one up close. What's its name?"

"That is Fawkes."

"He's going to burn soon. His feathers have already started turning dull."

"Know much about phoenixes?"

"I studied them with my mother. She taught me a lot about all the creatures. Dragons, sphinxes, phoenixes, pixies… I've learned a lot about all of them. I don't know everything yet but I'm… I've learned quite a bit."

Turning around she found him holding a strange old ragged wizard's hat in his hands. It was tattered and torn from years of use and looked like it would fall apart at any moment if Gwendolyn merely stirred the air too hard.

"What is…?"

He plopped the hat unto her head and she tensed up fast. The hat slipped down over her eyes and she could see nothing but the black brim. Then she heard it. She didn't know what it was at first but then realized it was the hat. The hat was talking to her.

"_Don't know what to make of me?  
__This ugly dingy cap  
__Well there's more than what you see  
__Inside my old sides  
__I am no ordinary cap  
__No not like others you see  
__For I am the Sorting Hat  
__The one and only  
__So let me see  
__Where do you belong?  
__Where ought you be?  
__Let me look inside your head…  
__Are you brave and true?  
__A Gryffindor  
__Is that you?  
__Maybe…  
__Are you patient and loyal?  
A__Hufflepuff  
__One who is always ready to toil?  
__Maybe…  
__Are you smart and of the mind?  
__A Ravenclaw  
__One of the agile kind?  
__Maybe…  
__Or are you willing to go to any ends?  
__A Slytherin  
__Who has only **real **friends?  
__Let me see…  
__For I am no ordinary cap  
__You think I see  
__The sorting hat  
__That's me…_

After it had finally finished its little song Gwendolyn didn't have to ask what this was. It was the sorting hat of Hogwarts. The hat her father had told her about year afteryear whenever he could see her. Tears came to Gwendolyn's eyes and she blinked them away.

"Well, now let me see. Which are you? You've a quick mind… your heart is true… you're very shy…you care very deeply… then I suppose you are a… GRYFFINDOR!"

Then as suddenly as the hat had been put upon her head it was gone and she was staring into the eyes of Dumbledore again. She was very confused. "But… I'm… I'm a Gryffindor?"

"Yes, now, Miss Farr you must be off. It is still early and if you are lucky you will make it to your first class. Herbology."

"But I don't have a…" again with a wave of his hand Dumbledore produced an old box, one older than even the sorting hat. Opening it he showed her a delicately carved wand. "Wand... "

"Made of willow with the hair of a unicorn. Ten inches long."

"But how do…" Without saying a word he pulled it from the box and held it out to her. She looked into his eyes and saw that he was serious. He wanted her to take it. But how would he know that it would be _hers_? When he didn't waver she finally reached out and took it from him.

For just an instant Gwendolyn felt a spark go through her. Her eyes snapped open and she saw a quick image that flickered through too quickly to truly be seen. A woman sitting by a stream, hair as long and golden as the sunshine looked up and a unicorn rode past. Then the woman was gone.

Dumbledore watched her and saw her eyes widen and the way they changed from hazel brown to a green in a flash only to change back. Then she looked up at him with a puzzled look.

"How did you know it was mine?"

"It belonged to your great-grandma. Fairy lines make it so that a wand can be passed down generation after generation, but only a very special wand. Your mother did not want it. Now it falls to you. Will you take it?"

Gwendolyn eyed the wand in her hand carefully. A tingle still floated up and down her arms and she felt… different. This was everything she had ever dreamed of. As long as she had been alive she had dreamed of coming here to Hogwarts and learning as her father had. And now he just wanted to hand it to her.

Looking up into his twinkling blue eyes, which had changed so serious, Gwendolyn found her voice wouldn't work and simply nodded. Then the twinkle returned and he smiled at her. "Very good. Your things will be taken to your room. You will get your schedule tomorrow morning. You know where you will be staying?"

Gwendolyn nodded and then suddenly found herself ushered down the stairs and into the corridor of the large and imposing Hogwarts. Turning she was going to ask Dumbledore a question. "But Professor, I…"

The wall had already spun back into place and Gwendolyn found herself all alone in the halls of Hogwarts. A place she had always dreamed of… Well, she was here… now what?

"Oh… knickers…" Looking right and left she thought to herself that all the hallways looked exactly the same. So she closed her eyes. One of them was sure to lead back to the entranceway.

Mumbling "eenie-meanie-minie-moe" she moved her finger back and forth opening her eyes as she finished. Her finger went right so she struck out praying that she had chosen the right way… What a way to get introduced to a place you'd never been…


	2. Password?

Chapter 2 

Gwendolyn stared up the portal that lead into the Gryffindor common room and sighed. She eyed the fat lady with doubt. She looked quite beautiful in her roman dress with the countryside rolling behind her, but the set of her look plainly said, _"Not gonna happen."_

But Gwendolyn had never been one to back down so she took a deep breath and tried again. "But can't you just let me in, please? I told you already I don't have the password. Headmaster Dumbledore didn't give it to me."

"I'm sorry but I can't let you in."

"But all my stuffs in there. My cat is in there. Kismet is going go crazy if I don't let her out of her cage soon. _Please _let me in. _Please._"

"No password, no entry. Those are the rules and as the guardian of the Gryffindor house it is my duty to uphold them. I can not simply…"

"But can't you just…"

"No."

"Not even this once? I promise if you let me in I will never again forget the password… _please?"_ Gwendolyn tried her best pleading look adding sad eyes for a good measure but the Fat Lady's mouth only thinned more as she shook her head.

Letting out a puff of air Gwendolyn swung around and crossed her arms. "Knickers and… fiddle sticks to it all." She said as she started to walk away then she heard the sound of laughter bouncing along the walls. Stopping Gwendolyn just listened and then looked down the hallway to the staircase. Then she saw them. Four boys, all wearing the Gryffindor robes, laughing together.

Curious she paused to watch them walked towards her since they hadn't noticed her. The first boy had sandy blonde hair that fell in shaggy strands over his forehead. As he laughed Gwendolyn noticed that he had amber eyes that gleamed in the corridor candlelight.

Beside him a gangly boy with even shaggier brown hair laughed with him. His eyes were brown and gleamed behind glasses that slipped down forcing him to push them back up. His hair made Gwendolyn smile because it seemed to have such a mind of its own.

Then her eyes came to rest upon the third boy and she felt as if the world had frozen for a moment. His hair was a glorious midnight black and somehow it seemed even shaggier than the other two. He was a _bad boy…_ You could just tell from the way he walked he was. Dangerous was the one word that described him. And he loved it. Even beneath the drab uniform robes you could see it.

Suddenly Gwendolyn felt shy and drab. Her face started to warm and she knew that her ears had already turned red. Her muscles tensed and for an instant she thought about running so they would never know she had looked at them. Stared at them… was staring… But she fought it.

_Rational reasoning, Gwendolyn, but I suppose you never follow the rational, do you?_ A little voice said in the back of her mind but she brushed it away. None of them had noticed her yet. She could still walk away…

Then the third boy looked up and Gwendolyn knew her eyes widen and her face most definitely turned red. His eyes were beautiful. Silver. No, not just plain silver but hot molten silver just melted down. Not gray but not blue. Right in between. In a color that should have made his eyes look flat and lifeless but somehow didn't manage it.

Forcing herself to look away her eyes came to rest upon the last boy. His hair was blonde-almost –white and his eyes were a watery blue that seemed too faded to even be a real color. Blank eyes. Lifeless. Without thought of remorse or any other feeling... And then another thing she didn't like. They flitted to and fro watching everything. Looking for danger like a scared little animal. Just waiting for an opportunity… Then his eyes also focused on her and Gwendolyn felt a shiver run down her spine.

_Rat…_ the thought flitted through her mind so swiftly that she wasn't sure that she had even heard it in her mind… thought it.

But then they were right in front of her, the four boys, each more handsome then the next (except for the last one). And Gwendolyn opened her mouth to say something… anything and almost didn't… "C-could you help me?" she finally managed to stutter as they all stared at her. "I-I'm new… I don't have the password."

The first boy eyed her for a moment as if measuring her up. His amber eyes looked quite serious and she didn't look away once. Then he smiled slightly. "Remus Lupin." He said quietly as he held out his hand.

Gwendolyn studied his hand for a moment then looked up shyly into his kind eyes and smiled before placing her hand gently in his. "Gwendolyn Farr." She murmured as his hand enclosed hers.

For an instant an image flashed before her mind and then she turned without missing a beat to accept the hand of the second boy. She'd look into that image later. "James Potter, miss."

The third boy didn't say anything at first and then James jabbed him in the side with his elbow. Looking at his friend he quickly reached out and shook her hand mumbling, "Sirius Black."

When it came to the last boy Gwendolyn nearly shuttered but managed to shake Peter's hand. Even as she did a cold flash went through her body and an image of a snake slithering by came to mind. "Nice… nice to meet you all." She managed even as she tried to massage the cold away from her hands.

Thankfully none of them seemed to notice her attack of nerves and they walked with her over to the portrait. The Fat Lady immediately puffed proudly up. "Password?" she asked regally eyeing Gwendolyn with something akin to annoyance.

"_Mandrake Roots…"_ Remus murmured and she swung open to reveal the Gryffindor common room. Remus helped her step inside and she smiled at him and walked into the warm interior. And suddenly Gwendolyn Farr felt right at home. A meow at her feet had her kneeling down to pick up her calico baby into her arms. "Kismet!"

"Hope you don't mind us letting her out. She wouldn't be quite and I couldn't stand to hear her meow so pitifully any longer." Said a girl about her age with long black hair and hazel eyes. "Hi, I'm Raven Hawkins. And this is Lily. Welcome to Hogwarts."

"Thank you, I'm Gwendolyn Farr."

"Come on over and sit with us. You must be terribly bored if you found yourself in the company of the likes of those boys." Raven said as she plopped onto one of the many chairs in the common room. Lily smiled and nodded and Gwendolyn just knew she was going to love them both just like sisters.

* * *

Sirius was not one to be knocked off his feet by a pretty face. In fact of all his friends he was the most easy-going and charming with girls. James had eyes only for Lily, Remus was too shy and Peter… well, Peter was Peter. But Gwendolyn Farr was the last thing he had expected to find after classes were over and he and the guys had headed towards the common room laughing at some sick joke of James.

She had still been dressed in muggle clothes. Nothing extreme or tight or anything like that, just jeans and an old t-shirt that had proclaimed the Angels. But she had looked wonderful in them, her hair pulled back from her face with all its curls in a ponytail behind her head. Her hair was beautiful even now. Somewhere along the way she had released it and was now dressed in Hogwarts robes looking completely at ease with Kismet, her calico cat in her lap as she laughed with Lily and Raven.

Then she looked up at him and for a moment they just looked at each other. Her eyes looked like caramel right now from the firelight. But then Raven said something and she looked back down at her. Then she was laughing again.

"Oy! Sirius, you going to play or what?" James yelled from across the room at his seat in front of the fire.

Sparing a glance for his friend he grinned and then walked across the room. "Sure, I'll play and I'll beat you too."

James grinned and then made his first move. "Cocky, aren't we?"

Sirius snorted as he surveyed the board. "No," he made his move and smiled challengingly at James. "Just practical."

For a moment neither of them said anything as they played. Then Gwendolyn laughed and Sirius felt the hair at the nape of his neck stand up. James must have noticed because he gave a little sideways glance to the girl in question then back to his friend. Lifting his eyebrow he smiled and made his move.

"Something bugging you, Sirius?"

"Bugging me? No, why?" he pushed a pawn a little too hard as he said it but James merely surveyed the board as if he had all the time in the world.

"You seem… I don't know… distracted."

"How so?" moving his knight Sirius heard her laugh and wanted very badly to turn to see if it made her look as beautiful as it sounded.

"You couldn't stop staring at the new girl earlier…" James absently made his move too intent upon his friend to really care if he won or lost. "What's her name…? Gloria? Glenda? Gwenivere?"

"Gwendolyn." Sirius said shortly snapping his attention back to the board. He made his move then surveyed the board again. And nearly smiled as he saw his next move. "What about her?"

"I don't know I've just never seen you so gaga for a girl before. It's… interesting…" James made his move then Sirius did grin.

Moving his bishop into place he said, "Checkmate. Sorry, James but you should stick to the Quidditch field. And I'm not gaga about Gwendolyn. You and Remus are the master at that. She's just… very pretty."

Pushing away from the table Sirius heard James murmur, "Well, if that don't beat all." And he laughed out loud. Then his glance landed on Gwendolyn as she laughed with Raven and Lily. Her hair shone like milk chocolate in the firelight and she seemed to sparkle all over. She shimmered. And then he looked at himself. He was… well he wasn't that kind of person.

As Sirius strode out of the room four pairs of eyes followed him, one sadly, the other three with a gleam of knowledge.

_So that's how it is, is it? _Raven thought to herself looking up and meeting Remus' glance over Gwendolyn's head. And they both smiled. They'd been there before.

And Gwendolyn just sighed hugging Kismet closer. _Oh well. What could he see in her after all? She was only… well…only part witch. She'd never belong._


	3. Nightmares and visions

Chapter 3

Gwendolyn tried to sleep. She really did. But finally she just gave up. Pushing out of her bed she sighed and then looked to the beds on her right making sure she hadn't woken Raven or Lily. When Lily only sighed and Raven only mumbled something that sounds suspiciously like "tuna casserole" Gwendolyn sighed in relief and opened the trunk at the edge of her bed.

Reaching in she pulled out a box that she had kept hidden, not sure of what people would think if they'd see her wearing her fairy stone which was inside it. She opened the box and saw the stone was glowing. Quickly covering it with her hand she took a quick look around the room before she was certain no one was looking and snuck down into the common room.

Opening her hand she looked at the stone as it glowed brightly. She felt the hairs on her neck rise up and a sudden chill ran down her back. Then she let the stone go completely and it floated in front of her. A sound of music filled the air and then she saw it. It was only a flash, another quick vision like the one she had experience earlier when shaking Remus' hand.

It was just one picture, a wolf underneath the full moon. And when the wolf shifted his eyes to her she saw they were not the evil eyes of a prowling predator. But rather the soft and understanding amber eyes that had smiled at her at earlier…

The vision vanished as fast as it had come and the stone fell from the air and onto the floor in front of her. Gwendolyn found herself shaking from a cold she hadn't noticed until now and was suddenly too tired to stand. Leaning down she quickly picked up the stone and put it around her neck. As she held the stone she finally caught her breath. "Werewolf…" she murmured to herself. "Remus is a werewolf…"

She never noticed the pair of eyes that watched her from the girl's dormitory door. And when Raven was sure she wouldn't notice she slipped the door close and thought for a moment. She had just seen Gwendolyn have a vision. While such things were not uncommon in the wizardry world she wondered why Gwendolyn had kept it a secret. It wasn't something to be ashamed of… was it?

A warm thing rubbed against her leg and Raven nearly squealed when she saw it was only Kismet, Gwendolyn's cat. Leaning down she picked her up and then after petting her gently put her beside the door and opened it so she could get out into the common room. Kismet looked up at her a moment then purred her way through Raven's legs before jauntily walking into the common room and straight to her mistress.

At first Gwendolyn jumped, but when she realized whom it was she happily took Kismet in her arms and then she started to cry. Raven suddenly felt sad for her and slowly closed the door and headed up to her bed. She'd talk to Remus in the morning. He'd know what to do. After all he had a secret like Gwendolyn's and he would know how she was feeling.

* * *

Hours later, Gwendolyn wasn't even quite sure how she had made it up to her bed or even when she had finally fallen asleep. But it seemed that only a few seconds after her eyes had drifted closed Raven was there shaking her awake.

"Come on, Gwen! Wake up!"

"Go away until it's decent, Raven." Gwendolyn muttered pulling her pillow over her head and rolling over.

"Gwen, we're going to be late for breakfast. Hurry up before we miss it. " Gwendolyn had barely pulled the pillow off of her head to glare at Raven in time to catch the robe she had tossed at her full in the face.

"Ow!" pushing it away from her face she glared sleepily at Raven who stood with her hands on her hips fully dressed. "All right, all right… I'm up. "

Raven smiled then and walked towards the door. "I'll meet you in the common room. Hurry up and get dressed."

Pushing herself out of bed she dressed and changed in record time all the while muttering about how impatient and bossy Raven Hawkins was. When she had finally managed to tame her hair into some semblance of a ponytail she skipped down the stairs into the common room. And saw that Remus, James, Sirius and Raven waiting for her.

"Ah… good morning everyone…" she said finally and Remus and James smiled at her. Sirius managed to grunt. "Shall we go then? I hope you weren't all waiting for me."

"Nonsense, usually we're waiting for Raven." Remus said good- naturedly as he took Raven's hand. "You've just beaten her sleeping late record."

Raven smiled up at Remus and then she looked at Gwen as they headed out the portal. "It's true, Gwen. And now I'm going to have to kill you."

Gwendolyn stopped as a chill went down her spine. No one had shortened her name since… since Papa had before he died. Mother had loathed having her name shortened. Saying it "was simply not done. Gwendolyn was a fine upstanding name and she would not have her daughter be slandered for a _nickname…"_

"Gwen? Are you alright?" Raven said stopping and watching her.

"Uh… sorry but did you just call me Gwen?"

"Yeah, it's shorter than Gwendolyn. Not as refined but easier to say. You don't mind do you? I mean I haven't offended you have I?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I just… that is, no one has shortened my name in…" Gwendolyn suddenly wanted to tell Raven the whole story right then and there. About her mother and father but then her eyes met with James, Sirius and Remus' and she lost the courage. "Well… in a very long time. I like it though. Gwen. Come on, we're going to be late for breakfast."

Gwendolyn… that is, Gwen hurried down the stairs mortified and absolutely aware of the four people watching her as she rushed down the stairs to the great hall to a breakfast she knew she would never finish.

* * *

Sirius Black was _not_ in love… he could not _be_ in love. He just wasn't hungry and he just hadn't been able to sleep last night because… he was restless. _Yeah right!_

_Okay, I admit it. She's beautiful, she's funny… she's wonderful. I like her. Is that a crime? Really, James and Remus have someone, why shouldn't I?_ Sirius looked up at Gwendolyn as she sat between Raven and Lily again telling them about the place she had called home. Her face was animated as described the forest that surrounded the small cottage, the mountains, fields and hill…and the cottage itself.

"…and then Kismet slipped right into the bucket of water. Oh you should have heard her yowl. Just splash! She looked like a wet mop for weeks."

_Well, no time like the present to get her to like him back. Time to turn on the old Sirius Black charm. _"Kismet? Why name your cat Kismet?" he asked cutting Gwendolyn and the girls' laughter short.

"I-It means _something or someone who came into your life at a life changing moment."_

"Kismet changed your life? How?" this time his tone had changed. He was really interested.

A small smile played along her lips for a moment. "Kismet was a runt. I still remember the way she looked. My world had just turned upside down and it was raining like as if the sky was crying with me. And then I just heard this sound." Her eyes had become distant as if she was remembering. "You know the kind of sound that you're not even sure you hear but you follow it anyway. I opened the door… and here was this little calico fur ball, soaked from the rain. She wasn't even a year yet. All she had to do was look at me with her big green eyes… and I was in love…"

"But how did she change your life?"

"She showed up on my doorstep the day my…" her eyes changed and seemed to become sad and lost but she took deep breath and tried again. "The day something horrible happened. She changed my life and has been my friend ever since. Her name fits. It's who she is."

The whole table around them had gone completely silent watching the play between Sirius and Gwen. Then as if they all realized exactly what they were doing they all began to eat once more and act as if nothing had happened, as if the entire Gryffindor house hadn't heard Gwen's story.

Sirius watched Gwen as she blinked away tears and stared down at her plate and nearly hit himself in the head. _Smooth move, Black. Very smooth. First girl you really try to impress and what do you do? You make her cry… Smooth._

Gwen pushed away from the table muttering, "I have to go. I need to… I just have to go. Don't worry about me." She took off and headed towards the girls' bathroom.

Raven looked at him with a withering glare then stood and strode after Gwen with Lily right behind her. And when he sighed and looked down the table at his friends he found them shaking their heads as well.

"What?"

Remus spoke first. "It's just the first time we've seen you mess up when trying to get to know a girl. You're usually smoother than that, Sirius."

"Give me a break. I didn't know she was going to cry."

James and Remus turned to one another as if ignoring him for a moment. "Love does crazy things to a guy. I mean look at you, Remus, you've still got stars in your eyes about Raven." said James craftily as if trying to make sure Sirius didn't hear. But he did.

"I am _NOT!"_

"Not what?" Remus asked innocently.

Sirius was about to yell but changed his mind and lowered his voice almost threateningly. "_I am not in love with her."_ Then he turned on his heel and strode out of the Great Hall to go who knew where.

James and Remus watched him go then turned to look at one another consideringly. They both nodded. "He's in love," they said together then a gleam came to James' eyes and he grinned mischievously.

"I've got an idea…"


	4. Avoidance

Chapter 4

Sirius started worrying when he didn't see Gwen for almost three days straight, at least not outside of class. In class she was always there: studiously taking notes, perfecting her spell casting and other skills. But as soon as the class was over she would disappear out the door and if he was lucky he might see a quick flash of her as she dashed past him in the halls or walked from the great hall after snacking on a hurried lunch in between homework assignments.

And even when she wasn't working she seemed to be busy ignoring or just plain going out of her way to avoid him. Not that she acted any differently anyway. She still smiled and said hello when she saw him or waved if she couldn't talk or smile. But she never stayed long enough to talk. Or long enough for him to apologize.

And Raven and Lily weren't helping him any. If asked where she was they would make noncommittal noises or just shrug. If you were lucky you got a vague wave in a certain direction. But they would never give up her exact location. Even Remus with his slow and patient ways couldn't drag the answer out of Raven. And it was driving Sirius crazy. This time he was going to get his answer.

Stopping Raven as she walked from their last class Defense against the Dark Arts he gave her a pointedly stubborn look. "Raven, where is Gwen?"

Raven watched him for a moment as if thinking. "Why should I tell you Sirius? The last you talked to her you made her cry. I won't hurt my friend because you have illusions of grandeur that you can make her like you."

"Raven, right now, all I want to do is say I'm sorry. I really had no idea that I would make her cry. Please tell me where she is."

"She's in the library. She's near the back close to the incantation section. Just apologize and be quick about it. If you hurt her... well, you know me." then she walked away and Sirius strode off to the library with a determined air.

Raven watched him go not even surprised when Remus came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "You sure that was a wise thing to do, Raven?"

"Wise? Maybe not. But they already love each other. You can see it. And I'm not about to let my friends' stubbornness keep them apart. As shy as she is and as stubborn and prideful as he is... They're perfect for each other." Raven turned in his arms and hugged him tight around the middle. "Just like you and me."

"Glad you think so, on both counts, because James has a plan. But to pull it off we're going to need yours and Lily's help."

"James has a plan. Why am I not surprised? All right, I'll go get Lily. But she's not going to be happy about spending any time in the presence of one James Potter."

"Just tell her it's for Gwen and Sirius. She will come." He said then hugged her to him one last time before they split planning to meet in the common room.

* * *

Gwen studied the piles of homework in front of her and then sighed. Her back ached from sitting still too long, her fingers ached from writing too much and her head ached from all the information she was trying to cram into it. Leaning back in her chair she dropped her quill as she stretched. A yawn made it out and she closed her eyes for a moment relaxing all the tense muscles in her body.

She knew she had been working too hard but what other way was she going to avoid Sirius? It was bad enough she saw him in class everyday without having to see him out of it. It seemed ever since that first day he'd gotten more and more charming and with each day Gwen felt more and more flustered. She never knew what to say to him when he spoke so flirtingly his silver eyes gleaming devilishly.

It made her feel like a tongue-tied schoolgirl. A _blushing _tongue-tied schoolgirl. Who was so inexperienced it was foolish to even talk to a boy. Which she was, of course, a simple schoolgirl who blushed. The only experienced she'd ever had with males had to have been when a stray dog or two came along. But that was it. Boys of the homo sapien variety were of a very different nature. Especially boys named Sirius Black with hair of midnight and eyes of molten silver.

Leaning all the way back she looked up at the ceiling for a moment and daydreamed of a time and place where she wasn't so naïve and she knew exactly what she would say to Sirius. She smiled and then she sat up again. As if that would ever happen...

Looking back at the table she noticed the boy leaning against the bookshelves watching her for the first time and nearly jumped. Then she saw the familiar silver eyes and put a hand over her heart to stop it's pounding. "Sirius... Oh my god, what are you trying to do? Give me a heart atta... Wait a minute what are you doing here?"

He pushed away from the shelf and pulled a chair up spinning it around so he sat upon it facing the opposite way. Folding his arms he leaned on them he watched her for a moment his eyes narrowed. Then instead of answering her he asked a question of his own. "How come you're avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you. I've just been trying to catch up with the work from all my classes. And you haven't answered my question." She said feeling a headache starting to pound in her head almost as fast as her heart when he only raised an eyebrow as if wondering what the question was. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for you."

"Why?"

"I came to..." suddenly the words seem to fail him and he looked to the ground and then it landed on her fairy stone which hung out of her shirt. "What's this?" he put his hand out lifting it up gently.

Gwen looked down and saw the stone in his hand. "Huh? Oh it's..." the stone turned a warm red color and then it went back to its normal color. "Nothing..." she murmured as she covered it with her own hand.

She felt the stone spark beneath her hand and the looked up at Sirius. He'd felt it too. His silver eyes narrowed and Gwen pulled back pulling the stone with her. After slipping the stone inside her shirt she put her hands into her lap curling the one that had been over the stone closed tight as if to keep the warmth encased in her hand.

"So what did you come looking for me for?"

Sirius looked up at her then as if remembering his errand then looked down at his hand. "I came to apologize. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry, Gwen."

"You didn't... do it on purpose... You... you really don't have to apologize. There's nothing to say sorry for..."she blushed lightly wishing she hadn't been such a sentimental fool earlier and cried.

"But I want to apologize. I... I didn't mean to say anything that would hurt you. Sometimes I just... well actually... I never trip up when I'm talking to girls. Ask Raven. But with you... It's different."

He was doing it again. Being charming and sweet and he wasn't even trying too. That was when Gwen liked him the most, when he was relaxed and himself. When he was trying hard to be all charming and sexy she just felt out of her league but _this_ Sirius was all the more devastating._ This_ Sirius she could relax with and talk to.

"I do stupid things. Things that probably make you feel embarrassed. So...I'm sorry. You don't have to accept my apology. I just had to say it, for myself."

He pushed away from the chair and started to walk away and just as he was about to turn the corner Gwen felt herself feeling hurt and disappointed he didn't want to stay. So she said something. Anything that came to her mind. "Apology accepted. I don't have to. But I need and want to. Thank you, Sirius. I know... it wasn't easy. So thank you."

He smiled and nodded and then walked around the bookshelf. And as soon as he disappeared from sight Gwen frowned at herself and leaned her head against the cold tabletop. _Apology accepted? What the heck is wrong with you Gwendolyn Farr? Was that the best you could come up with?_

"Gwen?"

Snapping her head up, she saw that Sirius had poked his head back around the bookshelf. His hair looked shaggier than usual as if he had run all the way back. "Huh?"

"This weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend and I'm going and you're going and... Well, I was wondering if you wanted... to go together?"

Gwen stared into his eyes and saw something she had never seen there before. Hope and...uncertainty. If there was one thing that Gwen had never seen Sirius as hat was uncertain. But here he was looking so nervous waiting for her answer. Her answer to a question...

"Sirius, are you... that is... are you asking me on a date?"

"Well, only... if you want it to be."

For a moment neither of them spoke. At least not in words and finally Gwen managed to nod. "I... I'd... I'd like that very much."

Sirius grinned and then he looked serious again. "Okay, I'll meet you in the common room?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll... I'll see you then."

"Yes, you will. Good luck with the homework, Gwendolyn." He looked uncertain for a minute then the cocky grin came back to his face and he walked away. This time Gwen listened until his footsteps had completely faded before she dared to move.

"Oh my god... Sirius Black just asked me out... Did I just...? "The full import of what she'd done sunk in and a chill went down her back. "Did I actually say yes? Oh my god... what am I going to do?"

* * *

She asked herself that same question over and over again over the next few days and as Saturday drew closer and closer her attention to homework and class work faded. Finally after another five points lost for Gryffindor she decided to talk to Raven. The only problem was Raven was sitting with Remus, James and Sirius.

Mustering her courage she walked up to the table trying very hard to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. "Hi guys. Raven, I need to talk to you."

"Sure, have a seat."

"No..." Four pairs of eyes looked up at her and she tried to continue nervously. "That is... Raven you promised to help me with... that project. You know the one in... Magic History?"

"Sirius can help you. He's much better than me at that sort of thing."

"No! That is... Raven, you promised." She picked up Raven's arm and pulled her up. "Come on."

Raven finally seemed to get it and went without complaint until they came to the girls' bathroom. "Well, what is it?"

"Sirius asked me out. On a date. A _real _date."

"He did? That's wonderful..." she smiled until she noticed the look on Gwen's face. "Isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but... Oh Raven I'm so nervous. I can't go through with this. What if I make a mistake?"

"But you like him right?"

"Yes."

"And weren't you telling me how much you wished he'd ask you out?"

"Well, yes... But Raven you don't understand. I've never been on a date in my life. I've never had a boyfriend in my life... I'm so nervous and scared. What if I make a big mistake and it makes him not like me. I can't go through with this. I just can't..."

"And what if you do something right and he likes you even more? What if you end up having a good time? And if you don't go, you'll never know... Relationships are about taking risks. You can go through with this. You're going to go through with this, right?"

Gwen looked Raven in the eyes and what she saw made her smile. The look Raven gave her reminded her of the stern look that Gwen's mother sometimes pulled out when Gwen was being stubborn. The "this look means no talk back" look had always worked then and it worked again now.

"Okay... but Raven..." she stopped short when Raven gave her another look.

"What?" Raven asked almost impatiently.

"I don't have anything to wear." Raven smiled then and the smile turned into a chuckle, which ended in a full-blown laugh. And then Gwen found herself laughing right along.

"I sound like one of those teenage muggles on TV who has too many clothes to choose from." She finally managed to wheeze out as her sides began to hurt from laughter.

When the laughter had finally subsided both girls looked up as the doors opened and Lily walked in. "Is everything okay?"

Raven and Gwen looked at one another and managed to stifle their laughter this time. "No, we have a fashion emergency." Raven told her almost seriously as if she was reporting a heart attack. Then the laughter started all over again. And this time it didn't stop for a very, very long while.


	5. Is this me?

Chapter 5

Remus and Lily sat in the Gryffindor common room and waited. Sirius had already gone to bed along with the other Gryffindor but they kept a lookout just in case. Then the door to the girls' dormitory opened and Raven came out and with a wide smile she sat beside Remus. "Here she comes."

The door opened again and Gwen stuck her head out. She looked... uneasy. And when she slipped into the common room Remus saw why. Her hair had been put into a ponytail on the side of her head and her curls rioted down onto her shoulder. Below that she wore a huge grey football t that went nearly to her feet by the looks of it. Below that she wore pants a few sizes a bit too big for her and a pair of ratty tennis (those were hers, Remus remembered).

"Raven, I don't think this is me..." Gwen said uncertainly as she looked at down at herself.

"You look great Gwen. What do you guys think?"

Lily shook her head slowly. "No, I don't think so."

Remus didn't answer her right away tilting his head to the right he tried to get a better look at her. "First of all, what are you wearing?"

"Raven's brother's things."

He looked over at her and she shrugged. "It's comfy wearing their stuff. I do it all the time."

He did a double take and then looked her over head to foot. She wore a warm looking sweater, jeans and her tennis shoes. "Are you wearing something of theirs now?"

She nodded and when he gave her a questioning look she smiled. "I'm wearing Rhyan's socks."

Lily smiled and then she turned to Gwen. "Okay, that's a no. Come on, let's give it another try."

Gwen turned and almost tripped when one of the pant legs fell over her shoe tripping her up. Then they left. "What didn't you like about that? She was comfy." Raven asked as she sat down beside him to wait.

"Well, yeah. But was she comfortable?"

"Guess not." Raven said with a small smile and they lapsed into silence as they waited for Gwen and Lily to reappear. Finally the common room door opened and Lily held it wide for Gwen. And when she appeared Remus heard Raven trying not to laugh. He had to fight back the impulse as well.

Gwen wore knee high socks and plaid skirt that ended just above the socks. On her feet she wore Mary Janes that Remus knew Lily had worn at least one time. Above the skirt was a white shirt with a peasant style and fringe. Gwen herself wore her hair in pigtails and somehow the outfit made her look at least 5 years younger.

Remus shook his head and Raven did too.

"It's not me either, Lily."

Lily looked at her a moment and then nodded. "Okay, so we try again. Raven, we've got work to do. Remus you might want to get a book out. This might take a while." The three girls disappeared into dormitory and Remus settled in. It was going to be a while...

Several outfits later at nearly midnight Gwen turned to her two friends who were debating about a certain sweater. And Gwen knew that they weren't going to be much help. While both had nice senses of fashion, neither could agree with the other. And neither of them was anything like her.

Looking down at the last outfit they had chosen she sighed and shook her head then turned to look at Raven and Gwen. "You guys...? she waited until they looked up at her and smiled. "You guys have been very helpful but... well, you're not me. And so far I haven't felt very comfortable in anything you've had me try out. So I was wondering... would you let me...?"

Lily and Raven looked at one another and smiled. "Sure," Lily said.

"Absolutely, I mean who better to pick your own clothes then yourself." Raven nodded and then she and Lily went to the door and when she was finally alone Gwen sighed.

Then she looked at the piles and piles of clothes that Lily and Raven had managed to accumulate over the years. There were so many colors and so many styles. Then she saw it and it was perfect. Pushing aside an old pair of jeans that had doubtlessly belonged to one of Raven's numerous brothers she lifted the peasant styled shirt up. Then looking around again she dug through the clothes and jewelry until she found just what she wanted. Then she moved to her own dresser and opened her trunk digging in the bottom until she found two things: a scarf the same color as the shirt and her black boots, which she had never worn before.

Down in the common room, Remus read a book contentedly and Raven paced while Lily sat patiently in a chair. Raven was nearly ready to go up and check on Gwen when the door swung open to reveal her. And as Raven, Remus and Lily gapped she slowly made her way into the common room quietly closing the door behind her.

She had put her hair down and wrapped a scarf around her forehead and let the lose ends dangle and mingle in her hair over her shoulder. In her ears dangled a set of gypsy-like earrings. And around her neck she wore the pendant that she had used to see that vision. The blouse she wore was simply in a deep cranberry color that brought out the color in her cheeks. And the jeans looked like a worn pair of bell-bottoms that Raven had remembered she had thrown away... hadn't she? But the boots on her feet were unfamiliar. Small, black and made of what looked like a felt fabric.

"Well?" Gwen asked nervously as none of them had answered. "What do you think?"

She twirled one time and her curls wild and free. She looked at ease and...almost pixie-like. With these clothes on she seemed to take on a fairy tale quality. "You look great. You look like you." Raven said nodding as she walked up to her. "Is the shirt yours Lily?"

"Yes, I don't remember why I got it though. The color clashes with my hair... You want it, Gwen? I'll never wear it."

"I'd love it. Thank you." The Gwen turned to Remus who still hadn't said anything. "What do you think, Remus?"  
Standing up he walked over to her and held her by the shoulders and with a small comforting smile told her what he thought. "I think that Sirius is going to be knocked dead. I am. You look wonderful, Gwen. This is you. And if Sirius doesn't like it... I can beat him up for you, if you like?"

Gwen laughed and then put her head down to cover the blush that had snuck up on her along with the tears. And then she shook her head. "No, thanks, I'll let Raven have all the fun."

Remus grinned down at her and she found herself feeling save and truly at home. On impulse she hugged him tightly then swung to Lily then Raven, hugging them both as well. "Thank you. Thank you. You've all given me more than I ever thought I could have happen to me when I came here."

She released Raven and looked at the three of them. "When I came, I thought I'd only learn about magic. I was wrong. You've... You've been wonderful to me and I... I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you in kind."

Raven frowned, _what did she mean?_ "It's only some clothes, Gwen. You let me borrow some of yours and will call it even."

"Only some clothes. It's more than that." Gwen shook her head then and sighed. "Just... Never mind, I'm too tired to explain right now. I'll tell you later."

Then Gwen turned and walked up to the dormitory.

"What do you suppose she meant by that?" Lily asked.

Remus and Raven didn't answer her but looked at each other with a knowing glance. They knew at least one thing. Gwendolyn Farr had a secret... but would she tell _them?_


	6. Hogsmeade Heaven

Chapter 6

Gwen looked at herself in the mirror one last time and then stared at the dormitory door. She felt as if her heart was about to pound right out of her chest. She felt so nervous. Rubbing her ice-cold hands together she turned to grab the small black backpack Lily had loaned her but when she turned back to face the door she couldn't walk through it. Sitting down on her chest she stared at it for a full minute then it opened and Raven ran through the door.

"Gwen! Would you hurry up? They stop letting people out in…"she glance at her watch,"fifteen minutes. Sirius is beginning to think your standing him up."

"I can't… I can't do it… Raven, I can't. He's not going to like me."

Raven frowned at her then sat down on the bed beside her taking both of Gwen's ice cold hands in hers. She studied them for a moment, those tiny capable hands that had done all the work it had taken her to do in three months in a week then she looked up into her nervous hazel eyes and smiled. "Yes, you can. And if Sirius doesn't like you… then he's an idiot. And last time I check as annoyingly charming as he can be Sirius isn't an idiot. He'll like you. Just…give him a chance."

Gwen looked down at their hands intertwined and she felt the stone warm against her skin then she smiled. "Okay…but I can't stop these butterflies in my stomach and I might not eat anything just to be sure. I don't want to have to throw it up again."

Raven smiled and pulled her off the bed. As she pulled her out of the room she prayed that Sirius would do something right for a change. As sweet as he could be at times he had a knack for putting his foot in his mouth, especially around Gwen.

Gwen took a deep breath hoping it would steady her nerves and then pushed the door open walking down the stairs and into the common room. When her eyes lit on Sirius she couldn't help but smile. He had actually tried to look really nice for a change. His hair had been combed and styled so that it didn't look as if it had just been brushed with his fingers that morning. And he wore jeans and a steel grey shirt the same color as his eyes…

Then he looked at her and smiled and Gwen decided she liked the eyes better than the shirt. "Ready to go?" he asked quietly reaching out with his hand.

For a moment panic burst inside her and she felt the butterflies start fluttering anew. Then she looked at his hand and back up to his smiling face. Stepping down, she had just gripped his hand and reached the second to last stair when a sudden image came to her mind.

This image was more of a feeling then anything else. She tripped as the dark shadows raced around her and then she heard a scream of a man and felt someone slice her arm… then she tried to stop it, more crying out more blood. _Must stop before he hurts someone else…_

Then she flashed back to the common room and looked up at Sirius. "You okay?"

"Yeah… I just… I'm sort of clumsy, sorry. Come on, we're going to miss our chance if we don't hurry." She said grabbing up her coat and walking to the door and waiting outside for Sirius.

She still felt shaky but when they got outside to Hogsmeade she felt that everything was okay and took his hand again. Everything about the place was wonderful.

* * *

Sirius wanted to laugh in delight at how awed and amazed Gwen seemed to be about Hogsmeade. The entire day her eyes had been wide and filled with wonder. They had visited everywhere from Honeydukes to Zonco's joke shop. Now they sat in the Leaky Cauldron having two butterbeers as Gwen looked around the room as if not wanting to miss a single thing. "You're going to sprain your neck if you're not careful." He told her and she turned and smiled at him, something he was sure he'd ever get used to.

"It'd be worth it. I've never seen so much magic in one place. And there are so many different people and places and wonderful things. It's amazing."

"You really haven't ever been around other wizards? Why?" she looked down at her butterbeer and looked sad for a moment and Sirius wanted to kick himself. "If it makes you sad please don't answer me. I didn't mean…"

"No, it's not that. I just…" she sighed and then looked up at him. "I was feeling kind of stupid for forgetting all about mama. You see it's just been me and her since…since Papa died. She sort of blames the wizarding world. And I haven't… that is I've been home tutored. With spells from books she has at home. Nothing major, but enough so I'm not lost here."

"Why does she blame the wizards?"

"Papa worked with the Ministry. I don't know what he did. But one day he…" she paused and looked up at Sirius but she knew she had to tell him. Him only, for now. "He just came in to say goodbye. He had another job to run for the Ministry. I was seven. I don't really remember it well. Him and Mama started fighting. And then he left and mama just broke down crying. She kept saying something was going to happen, she knew it…"

"What happened?"

"He was killed by another wizard. A dark spell, the kind that's not even legal. Mama is never wrong. Not about tragedy…"

"What do you mean?" Sirius couldn't understand. Her mother had known, how? "How did she know?"

Gwen suddenly felt trapped. She shouldn't have said anything… then the door to the Leaky Cauldron opened and she looked up in time to see Raven, Remus and James walk in. Sirius swung around to see them and they headed over. Sirius frowned. He had wanted to know more about Gwen.

"Hello, old chap, how has your day been?" James said as he slid into the stool closest to Sirius.

"Fine, until you showed up," he murmured more to himself than anything thing else.

"Aww… I think he's mad at us for interrupting." Raven said as she sat in the chair that Remus held out for her. "Cheer up, Sirius. You've had her to yourself all day. It's our turn to say hello. It's almost time to head back now anyway."

Sirius settled back in his chair. Raven was right, once again, besides he could talk to Gwen about it later. Feeling suddenly more charitable he smiled. "So how was your guys' day?"

* * *

Later back at the common room Gwen wished Sirius good night and headed up to the girls' dormitory feeling she was ready to fall asleep on her feet. But Lily and Raven were waiting for her sitting snug as a bug on a rug smack in the middle of her bed.

"Well, hello, you two." She said as she set her bags by her trunk and started changing into her pajamas.

"So, how was it?" Raven asked when she sat on the bed with them brushing her hair.

"Oh it was wonderful. Not a butterfly in sight. We went all over the place. I've seen so many amazing things. The candy shop and that joke shop… It was wonderful. Hogsmeade itself… it's like it's coated with magic. I loved every minute of it."

"And Sirius? He didn't stick his foot in his mouth again, did he?"

"He was wonderful, but now I think I'm going to bed. And if two certain someones would move, I could."

Lily and Raven moved to their own beds and then they lights went out as all the girls settled in for the night. But Gwen felt too restless to sleep. Turning over she sat up suddenly as a thought crossed her mind.

"Raven?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm in trouble… I think… I might… be falling in love. With Sirius. But I can't… can I?"

Raven rolled over and then Gwen heard the even pattern of her breathing and knew her friend was out for the night. Sitting back down she pulled the necklace out and stared at the gem.

She blew on it lightly and small sparks flew into the air. "Show me Sirius."

The sparks circled round and round each other and then there was his loveable smiling face. He couldn't sleep either. He lay on his bed hands behind his back staring at the ceiling a smile on his face. Then his eyes shifted as if something had caught his attention and he looked straight at Gwen.

For one heart stopping moment Gwen stared back then she swiped the sparks away and cut the image. Her heart was pounding all the more and she lay back down. _What had she been thinking? _Laying down she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

* * *

Sirius gazed up at the ceiling. He had almost been sure that he had seen a glow coming from up there. Maybe he was just tired. He should get some sleep. _He should…_ but he couldn't.

Looking over to the bed on either side of him he wondered if his friends were awake too. James was out, no doubt about it. He could hear the snoring all the way over here. Looking to his other side he wondered if Remus was.

"Go to sleep, Sirius. I can't sleep with you sitting there staring at me."

"You up, Remus?" he said smiling.

"I am now. What is it?"

"I can't sleep."

"Gwen?"

Sirius nodded. "She's something else, Remus. Something special, but she's got so many layers… so many secrets. Some… I'm not sure I want to know… Some I have to know if I want to get to know her. But she just won't let me."

"Things take time, Sirius. Now get some sleep. You won't be able to win her over if you fall asleep in her lap… or maybe you will. Being you and…oof!"

The pillow hit him smack in the face, right where Sirius had aimed. Sirius laughed and Remus tossed it back at him. "Good night, Remus."

Remus grunted and rolled over. And Sirius lay back down and closed his eyes. But he saw her all over again. Smiling that sunshine bright smile that made him want to give her the world and hurt anyone who took it away. Himself included.

He looked over at Remus. "You were right…" he murmured just loud enough so his friend couldn't hear him. "I'm in love… now what do I do?"


	7. Dreams and heros

Chapter 7

Gwen finally drifted into a deep sleep sometime around midnight but even with sleep she couldn't quite fall completely _asleep_. Dreams and images swam around her until they began to come closer and closer, closing in on her and slowly but surely drowning her. She screamed to herself but no one heard and then she sunk into the dreams. Into the memories…

_Some of them hers, some not…_

Gwen found herself seated in a large menacing house with dark and dreary walls covered in massive portraits… Walking along she found herself face to face with some very hideous looking people then she heard a sound and followed it. Seated in a small room was a little boy. He was crying and Gwen moved closer to comfort him.

His hair was the color of midnight and draped messily around his face then he turned and looked to the door and she looked into two large, innocent silver grey eyes. _Sirius…_ Gwen raced towards him but just before she reached him he disappeared in a puff of smoke and the room started spinning. A blood-curdling scream filled her ears and she kneeled down holding her head because it felt as if it would break open at any moment.

_Shame of my flesh…_

_Blood traitor… _

_Abomination… begone…begone…_

Then the screams changed. They were a young man's and they cried for help…_Stop him before he hurts someone… Stop him…_

Suddenly the world stopped spinning and she found herself in the inside of an old creaking shack. The wind blew through the holes as the shack shivered and shook around her. Then suddenly light peaked through a boarded up window and pain laced through her insides.

The transformation began and suddenly she wasn't human. A nose grew… claws, teeth, fur… she fell forward on her hands and feet… no paws. The moon… blood… must have blood. A howl split from her throat and then things changed.

_Remus no!_

_Go back, Remy!_

She was a little boy who heard a bullet and raced through the foliage of the forest around him. And there over his father's body stood a great wolf with huge paws and massive jaws… Then his yellow eyes came to him.

She ran… but it was too late. The wolf attacked and pain laced through Gwen starting at her upper arm. Screaming filled her head again. The screams of a little boy. Screams from herself, the woman… then they changed… Screams of…fans… a giddy feeling replaced the fear and Gwen opened her eyes to see the Quidditch field far below her feet.

She was flying over the Quidditch field! She raced after the glint of gold and dived down after it grabbing it up with ease and then turning to the crowd and grinning at Lily…

Then she fell… farther and farther. Suddenly she was sitting in her new room on Privet Drive feeling dreary when she saw a group through the window. Then she smiled and raced down the stairs in time to meet Remus, James, Sirius and Lily. They smiled and waved at her and she followed.

But a sudden thing made her stop and she fell to the ground and felt the tears coming to her. She was sitting on the old rug in the living room of her family's cottage crying her seven-year-old eyes out. Mama sat by the fire full-human size shaking her head back and murmuring to herself…

_Knew it…knew it…_

_Don't doubt me… I know all…_

Then her papa's old worn muggle boots slapped the wood floors in front of Gwen and she looked up.

_Papa?_

_Gwen…my little Gwen…_

_But you're dead… you died… like mama said you would._

_I did… But I'm telling you one last thing… Tell them the truth. They deserve to know the real you. Tell them the truth…_

He stepped back out of the light that surrounded her and she reached out as if to stop him. _Wait! Wait! Don't go! Don't go Papa!_

_Listen to him the one who died… yes listen to him…_

_Mama?_

She didn't see anything and looked all around her but the voice teased her. _Yes, listen to him… never mind your promise…_

_Mama…_

_Listen… Will you break your promise? Will you? Or lie…_

The voices began to swarm around her crowding her as images pasted before her eyes. The white room seemed to spin around her… it changed, Hogwarts, the shack, woods, stone hallways, lighted corridors, rooms, houses, places she'd never seen… She saw everyone she knew: Lily, James, Remus, Raven, Sirius, Dumbledore, Mama, Papa, herself… and people she didn't…

And the voices… they echoed and mingled in her head and she suddenly felt as if it were going to split open right down the center. Teasing her, taunting her… She felt herself screaming, heard herself screaming but knew that no one heard her. Eyes glittered around her in the darkness… Laughter echoed. Evil and good alike… She sank deeper and heard so much…

_Will you break your promise? Will you?_

_Tell them the truth, they deserve…_

_Remus, no!_

_Stop him!_

_Blood traitor!_

_Shame of my flesh! _

_Truth…_

_Promise…_

_Stop…_

_Don't tell me if it makes you sad…_

_Stop…_

_Gwen…_

_Stop…_

_Gwen…_

"Stop!" Gwen bolted upright in her bed and stared at the quiet and dark room around her. Slowly her heart rate became slow and she sat back against the pillow. She looked around the room but no one had woken. Sighing she tried to stop the shivers but they wouldn't go away…

Something warm pounced on her leg and Gwen nearly screamed but held herself in check. She looked down the bed and sighed when Kismet's green eyes met her own. Then she laughed at herself… She'd just had a psychic overload. She hadn't reached within herself to view the memories she had collected over the last few weeks so everything had burst from her in a dream.

She picked Kismet up and buried her face in the soft calico fur as she tried to ease away the tension headache that had grown in her skull. It felt almost like a muggle marching band was prancing around in there playing its music as loud as possible.

When the pounding had eased to a distant drumming she sighed and looked down at her cat with a sigh. "What do you think? Am I crazy?" Kismet meowed and rubbed against her purring so loud that Gwen had to laugh. "What do you know? You're just a cat."

Kismet seemed to take offense to this and swatted Gwen lightly in the face. Giggling slightly she settled Kismet on her stomach as she lay back. "Yeah, you're right. You're doing much better than I am. I mean look at me… I'm talking to a cat."

Kismet's tail swished irritably and Gwen quickly corrected herself. "A very smart cat, but still… talking to animals is most definitely not normal, by _any_ standards. Oh well, at least you can't make me trip up or stutter or blush… You think I should tell them?"

Kismet meowed again and rubbed her head lovingly into Gwen's hands. "Yeah, I should. And I will… soon." Kismet nipped at her fingers and then stared at her with a fierce look in her eyes. "Ow… okay, okay… soon, I promise. I _will _tell them Kismet." Kismet seemed satisfied and curled into a ball on Gwen's stomach and Gwen stroked her soft fur until her eyes started to drift shut…

"Eventually…" she murmured and this time as she fell asleep the dreams didn't come and she slept dreamlessly until morning…

* * *

Sirius whistled as he headed down into the common room and his stretched arms over his head as he slowly jogged down the stairs into the common room. Lily sat by the fire a book in her lap still dressed in her pajamas, without looking up to see Sirius she said, "Morning, Sirius."

"Morning, Lily. What are you doing up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Same. What are you reading?"

"It's a wonderful book. _Pride and Prejudice._ You read it?"

"Uh… No, can't say that I have. Sounds… interesting though." He said as he pulled up a chair beside her and looked up to the door of the dormitory.

"Gwen's still sound asleep, you know." Lily told him without even glancing up from her book. "She probably won't be up for another hour, at least."

"How'd you…"

"Remus used to do the same thing every morning when him and Raven started dating. He stopped coming out early a couple weeks ago but if I don't miss my guess he'll be out about…" she glanced at her watch for a moment then smiled. "Now… and of course that is my cue to leave."

The door to the boys' dormitory swung open and Remus himself graced them his hair mused from sleep his robes slightly wrinkled. He left the door open and James followed him down. "Oh, good morning, Sirius."

"Morning, Remus. James…Why is it your cue to leave Lily?"

James walked across the room and leaned over the arm of the chair until his face was a few inches away from Lily's face. "Morning, Lil."

"That's why." She said and put her hand on his face and slowly pushed his head away. After finishing the sentence she was reading she marked her page then she stood and smiled at Sirius. "I'll see you later, Sirius, Remus… James."

"Lily, how do you know us so well?"

"I've been hanging around you too long, that's how." She said with a smile and the she took the stairs two at a time into the girls' dormitory.

James flopped onto the couch and Remus sat down beside him dragging his fingers through his hair. And Sirius yawned. "She knows us too well."

"You better believe it. It's been what? Five years? Five years of knowing the lot of us, pain-in-the-butt-Potter included. She's gotten to know us all and she knows it." Remus muttered almost darkly as he looked up to the girls' dormitory door. "Sometimes she knows us too well…"

"Hey! Listen who is talking, the one and only, Learned Lupin."

"Better than being a pain-in-the-butt, Potter."

James eyes narrowed and Sirius watched in amusement as his friends faced off but then the door of the girls' dormitory was flung open with a bang. Lily stood there a wide-eyed look on her face. Sensing something was wrong he leapt to his feet and her eyes met his.

"It's Gwen. She won't get up. She's completely drained. I don't know what happened…" she turned to run back in but stopped to turn and see Sirius rushing for the stairs. "Don't! You'll just fall. We'll get her out in a minute."

Sirius watched Lily disappear into the room and Sirius began to pace. After a full five minutes that seemed like years Lily and Raven with Gwen supported between them appeared at the doorway and Sirius felt his heart rate go up. She was a pale as a sheet and her eyes were glazed over and her breathing seemed to hurt.

Once the girls reached the bottom step they transferred her weight into Sirius' arms and he looked down at her face. She seemed to be trying very hard to concentrate. Her eyes looked to be filled so much pain and then she saw him and a small smile formed on her lips.

"Sirius?"

"I'm here. We're going to get you to the nurse's…"

"Okay…" she murmured and then she put her head onto his shoulder. "I trush you…"

Then her eyes closed and her body went limp. Getting a better grip on her he turned to the others. "I'm going straight to Madam Pomfrey. Anyone else coming?"

Lily and Raven stood fully clothed and the sleepy look had vanished from Remus' eyes. James stood glaring mockingly at him even as the worried light shined in his own eyes.

"Do you think you can keep us away?" he asked and Sirius grinned at him and then walked out the portal with the four of them right behind him.

Once they reached the nurse's office she ordered him to put her in a cot muttering to herself about, "Students, how they push themselves to hard…"

"What's her name?" she asked Sirius impatiently.

"Gwendolyn Farr."

"Humph…" she said and then she marked it down on the board at the edge of the bed. "Very well, leave now please."

"But Madam…"

"GO, you shall be late for your first class if you do not hurry. She would be very upset at you for that. Besides I cannot treat her with five impatient students hanging on my every movement. You may see her this afternoon, but no sooner than five. Now, go!"

"Yes, Madam." He walked across the ward and then stopped. "Madam, if she should wake… could you tell her that…"

"You were here. I promise I shall. Now go!"

Sirius nodded and headed with Remus, Raven, James and Lily to class but none of them seemed satisfied. Raven stopped and waited for him and as they walked she looked down at the ground.

"Something doesn't feel right, does it?"

Sirius looked back at the ward doors then shook his head. "No, it doesn't."

Raven nodded and then sighed. "I thought so."

They walked in silence the rest of the way to class barely making it after having to walk back to the common room for their stuff. But even if they had been late Sirius wouldn't have cared. He remembered that look of pure pain and agony in Gwen's eyes when she looked at him. She had been hurting inside and out.

_Why? And why was it with so many things he was left in the dark when it came to one girl? One Gwendolyn Farr? Why?_


	8. Hospital Wing

A/N: Well, the story seems to be coming along okay but I have some notices for all the loyal readers. Some thing have changed just a bit. First off, Gwen's wand. As someone (Cookie Monster's Crystal Ball)pointed out to me it is the most evil act to kill an unicorn so it is being changed. I refreshed my memory by looking at the first book and it is now the hair of a unicorn. I apologize now for anyone who was in any way offended by this. I wrote the chapter sometime in the middle of the night so excuse me, please.  
Also, yes, Gwen does stutter. She is unbearably shy so there are times when she just can't get the words to come out right. Plus since this is the very first time she has ever been anywhere near wizards everything is brand-new to her. Couple that with a secret, a cute guy she can't even talk around and she has this whole realm of insecurities to face. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have a backbone. Read on and you'll see what I mean.  
Also as an aside to dizappearingirl they are fun to write but I'll try not to keep you hanging on for too long. Anyway, enough of me talking. Enjoy the next chapter in Gwen's story...

Chapter 8

When Gwen finally woke up the first thing she noticed was the way her head felt like it was full of cotton, her limbs felt like lead and that she wasn't in the girls' dormitory. She looked around the room and saw that the walls were a pale white wash and the floors were a dingy grey tiles. And beside her was a row of beds that looked all looked exactly the same right down to the steel frame and the white spreads.

Then a strict looking witch wearing deep raspberry robes walked in. She wore an apron over that and a hat that cover most of her graying hair but what slipped out and framed her tight gaunt face. Eyes that were the color of robin's eggs stared out at the word with a shrewd, professional look.

Gwen's first thought was she was a nun from all her strict appearance then she drew even with the bed and then gave a quick pleased nod. "Good, your awake. Your friends will be pleased."

"Wha… Where- where am I? Who are you?"

"You're in the hospital wing, dear child, and I am Madam Pomfrey. You've been asleep for nearly a week…"

"A week?" Gwen tried to leap out of the bed but when her feet hit the floor her knees buckled underneath her and Madam Pomfrey had to help her back into bed.

"Yes, a week. Though I must say that I would have thought better of you. Every clairsentient knows that she or he must meditate every week or else… well, you now know what happens. And just to be sure this never happens again you are to visit with me ever Friday from now on so I can monitor your psychic energy."  
"But how do you…?"

"Headmaster Dumbledore was sure I knew. Now how do you feel?"

Gwen stopped trying to figure out what Madam Pomfrey was saying and concentrated on the questions. "Drained and confused. My mind doesn't seem to be working right now."

"And your name is?"

"My full name? Or the one on all the records."

"Full name if you can remember it."

"Gwendolyn Dacha Gene Epiphysis Farr." Madam Pomfrey looked down at her paperwork and then gave a tight grimace that Gwen supposed past for a smile.

"Good. Your mother is…?"

"Carina Rend Ernst Junta Farr."

"And father?"

For a second then Gwen shook her head and concentrated on making her lips move. "Gideon Coda Wulfric Farr. Madam Pomfrey, I'm fine. I just need to clear my head."

"You remember where you are?"

"Yes, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm fine, now can I see my friends, please?" Madam Pomfrey stared at her eyes narrowed. "Just five minutes. I've missed so much already."

"Alright, _five _minutes. At least I can get that Black off my back about seeing you. He hasn't been away from the hospital wing long enough to do more than eat, do homework and go to class. He and that Hawkins girl and their friends, Lupin and Potter, even Miss Evans has been taking turns waiting until you awake."

"They have? Really?"

"Yes, now I'll go let them in. But only five minutes, Miss Farr. Then you shall be off to bed again. If you're lucky you might be able to get out of bed sometime before you miss too much more class."

She opened the door and a minute later Raven, Remus, James and Lily burst through the door. Right away Raven and Lily ran to her bedside and hugged her close.

"Are you alright?"

"What happened?"

"I'm fine, really. I mean it. I just… I overworked myself. I'll be fine. Madam Pomfrey says that I'll be out soon. I hope soon enough. What have I missed?"

"_Five minutes, Miss Farr."_ Madam Pomfrey said impatiently from across the room.

"Never mind, you can tell me later. But… where's Sirius? He was here wasn't he?" she looked from each of her friends and then she saw him standing in the doorway. "Sirius."

His hair was standing up and sticking out worse than James' own hair and his face looked gaunt and tired. But when his eyes reached hers she saw the happiness and warmth that had always been there.

"Hi, Gwen. How are you feeling?" he said as he came up beside the bed.

"Kind of out of it… I'm okay. Thanks for… for the lift though. I wouldn't have made it here." She said as her hands twisted her sheets, the only sign she was nervous.

"Yeah, well, it's nothing. I brought you… something…"

"What?"

He pulled his hands out of his pockets and pulled out a chocolate frog. "Thought you'd like one."

"What is it?"

"A chocolate frog." Taking it from his hands she stared at the wrapping before she slowly opened it up. For a moment she held it in her hand and then suddenly it jumped out of her hand and onto the spread in front of her.

Laughing she looked at it then at Sirius. He was grinning at her and she scooped it up giving her time to concentrate on not blushing. "You're supposed to eat it."

Looking down at the chocolate frog that was wiggling in her hands she shook her head then looked up at him with a "you've got to be kidding" look.

"Really, it's good. It tastes like chocolate," he said urging her to try it.

Looking at it for a second Gwen took a tiny bite from the frog then after tasting it took a bigger bite as her empty stomach seemed to clench at the thought of having food in it. "Thank you." she managed and looked up at Sirius and noticed the others had already left.

"It's okay. Remus, James and me have been in here long enough to know that you don't get fed unless you wake up…" he paused for a moment then leaned down and captured her hands leaning his forehead on hers and sighed. "Don't ever do that to me again, Gwendolyn. You scared about ten years off my life."

"Sorry, but just so you know it wasn't a fun experience."

"What happened?"

"I…" Gwen searched for the words to tell him. She _wanted_ to tell him all of it. The truth about who she was. The truth about why she was here.

"_Ten_ minutes is up, Mr. Black. My patient needs her rest. You may come see her same time tomorrow. And if she is rested she will be released in three days. No, off you go."

"Just one more thing, Madam Pomfrey." He said then leaned down and kissed Gwen softly on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Gwen couldn't find her voice and simply nodded as Sirius walked out. Then she turned to Madam Pomfrey who huffed out something that sounded suspiciously like, "Young love…"

_Love…_ _Love? No it can't be love… Sirius doesn't fall in love and I can't fall in love. Not unless I tell him the truth. I **will not **fall in love with someone before telling him about who I am. I **will not **be my mother. No… I can't… but I already am…_

Madam Pomfrey handed her a strange looking liquid and she stared at it for a moment before drinking it down. As she did the feeling of drowsiness surrounded her and her last thought before dreamless sleep took her was, "_I have to stay away from Sirius…"

* * *

_

Sirius just couldn't understand it. He and Gwen seemed to have gotten more and more separated since her return from the hospital. She had returned to rushing about. Doing late assignments and homework. She never had time to see him. No, change that. She never _made_ time to see him and talk to him.

Stalking the common room at nearly ten at night he made a decision. He had to talk to her again. He'd probably scared her off with that kiss of his. He knew he shouldn't have but he couldn't help it. She had looked so helpless and he had felt useless. He just needed the reassurance that she was still alive. Still really there…

The next morning Sirius cornered Raven before she rushed out the door to breakfast. "Where is she? She left earlier, didn't she? Where did she go?"

"She's with Madam Pomfrey, getting checked up." Raven answered quickly without asking why or anything, as he would have expected her to do. "Then she'll be in class. At lunch she's in the library. And after the other classes in here."

"But every evening she leaves. Where does she go?"

"The astronomy tower, to clear her mind. I wouldn't have told you but she's worrying me. She doesn't seem to be… well, she's distance herself from all of us as if she thinks she's got some rare disease and she keeping it from us. Maybe you can talk some sense into her."

"I'll try."

And try he did. He missed her at lunch. Or more like she dodged him keeping out of his way until just before the bell rang and then rushing by said she didn't want to be late for class. And in class she pretty much ignored him. Saying only that she had a lot on her mind when he asked her why she was rushing around so much. But the faint blush on her neck told him otherwise. When they were in the common room he didn't risk it. There were too many people.

So he waited and when she got up and swiftly left the room he moved over to James who nodded and handed him the invisibility cloak. Then he was off wrapping the cloak around himself and rushing towards the corridor he knew would get him to the astronomy tower first.

And when she reached the top of the stairs he watched as she slowly leaned on the farthest wall and looked up at the stars. Tears glistened in her eyes and she whispered to the night as if it were a friend she could trust.

"I can't keep doing this… I can't keep lying to my friends… They've done so much for me and they deserve better. I wish I could just tell them. Oh, mama why did you make me promise? It's not right… I'm going to tell them. They deserve to know the truth, even if it means that they won't want to see me anymore..."

Sirius listened to her and then backed behind large stone section. What was it she was hiding? And why had her mother made her promise not to tell. He leaned out and looked at her looking so quiet and lonely. He would find out… but not today… Not today with everything she had been through. But someday soon…


	9. Snape Faceoff

A/N: So reupload this chapter. Will explain why in the end chapters note. Here I'd just like to say that the Marauders don't belong to me. Neither does Raven who I owe to my good friend. But I still hope that you love their adventures. R&R. :)

* * *

Chapter 9

Gwen stared up at the night sky overhead and then her eyes turned to the distant lights that shined like gold and silver on the horizon. Closing her eyes for a minute she concentrated on the gentle lapping of the distant waves as the waters broke on the walls of the great hill Hogwarts sat upon. The night air spun around her and for a minute everything felt peaceful.

Then she felt the sudden switch of energy in the place. _Sirius…_ she knew it was him but she didn't move. Her eyes stayed on the stars as they had every time he had followed her up here. She'd always known it except on the first night that night she hadn't known he was there until the very end. Until the moment he had chosen to let her feel him, as it was, she knew…

She smiled to herself. He was waiting for her to acknowledge him. To tell him that it was okay and he could come out. But she wouldn't. No matter how much she wished she could and she wanted, she couldn't…and she wouldn't… She had made a promise. One she would break but not yet…

Kneeling she touched her hand to the wall and sighed letting her mind wander hunting for that feeling that brought her here night after night. A tension fissured up her arm and she knew that someone else watched her.

It wasn't someone she knew. Standing up she turned and slowly looked around the dark interior of the tower. Then she spotted him.

His hair was worn long around his gaunt face that had ambitious eyes staring from behind them. Eyes so deep and dark the only color they reflected was the colors running through his robes. _A Slytherin…_ He walked slowly in and a chill ran down Gwendolyn's back. The arms on her hair and neck stood on end and she got the sense of premonition she had only gotten once before when she had linked with her mother in meditation.

"What do you want from me?" she managed to ask even as a voice in the back of her head was telling her to run.

"You don't know? I thought you would, after all, your mother can tell the future. Can't you do at least that, Gwendolyn Farr?" he said stepping closer sarcasm dripping from his words.

How could he know about her mother? "Who are you? And what do you want from me?" a tight string seemed to wrap itself around Gwen's heart and the pain in her head increased but she did her best to never let it show. Showing it would mean giving in and if she had learned anything it was to never give in and to never show weakness.

"My name is Severus Snape. Don't you recall _Potter_ and his _friends_ mentioning me?" he stepped closer and Gwen felt a quick flash go off in her head.

She saw Snape being held in the air by a wand, James' wand. She heard Lily yelling at him to put him down and then it ended and then there was Sirius teasing him. Then she was back in the tower of Hogwarts her back just inches from the wall and Severus Snape smirking at her.

She felt Sirius' anger beginning to build and it snapped her back to attention. She wanted to shout at him that he wasn't supposed to be getting mad at Severus. He shouldn't even be hearing these things. …not from someone else. And right there she became determined…Sirius would _not_ interfere. Severus took a step closer to her and her mind centered on him.

"Don't come any closer, Severus. Answer my second question: what do you want from me?"

"I want you gone. You are not muggle. You are not witch. You are a mutt, worse than a Mudblood. You don't belong here at Hogwarts."

Gwen felt as if someone had slapped her and her fingers had grown cold on the wall behind her, which felt warm. Concentrating on that warmth she pulled the happy memories of Raven and Remus holding each other close and then pushed away from the wall. They were the reason she came here each night. Their love always centered her.

Their love made her hope that she could tell them all. Sirius especially. She felt his muscles tighten and his restless energy helped her to look Snape in the eyes. "As it stands, Severus, I am under the impression that it is not your choice whether or not I am here. Dumbledore allowed me in. And if you think I am worse than a Mudblood. Know this: all my life I have been trained in the magical, mostly to save, but I can hurt. No wand needed."

Waving her left hand with impatience the tower door swung opened without a sound and she looked at him. "Best be on your way. If Filch catches you…who knows what he may do?"

Snape look like a firework about to explode in her face and Gwendolyn braced herself for his attack but when he hadn't moved she turned to face the wall. A risky move as it might send his temper off but she couldn't look at him and feel the tension that shimmered through Sirius without risking hurting someone or something. Potentially, and most likely, herself.

She heard his steps start towards the door then they stopped slowly turning she looked at him. His eyes burned with hatred and a lightening quick pain burned down her spine. "Go back to your common room, Snivellus."

The name spilled from her lips as if she had always known them. She hadn't. That was what Sirius had called him. What James called him… Severus face turned red and words seemed to spring to his lips. But something held him back. For a moment she could almost swear there was something else that he would have said but instead he spun on his heels and left.

Gwen waved her hand and the door shut gently. Leaning back against the wall she felt the little bit of strength she had managed to gather from Sirius drain from her. Slowly she slid down the wall and let her head fall to her knees.

After a moment she felt Sirius feelings changed to anxiety and she knew that he was edging back and forth not sure if he should go to her or stay hidden as he had every night. She was so tired. Her nerves tingling with the last wave of emotion.

Sirius shuffled again and she sighed. She hadn't planned for this. "You can come out, Sirius. I know you're there."

He walked straight from behind the wall to her side kneeling down to have a better look at her. One of his hands covered hers and his other one came out and cupped her chin making her look up into his eyes. He turned her head this way and that and finally Gwen took his hand away from her face and held it.

She waited for the onslaught from his touch but miraculously nothing came of it. Maybe because there was nothing lurking on the surface. Perhaps because he was too worried about her to let her in.

"I'm fine, really, Sirius. He scared me more than anything. But he didn't touch me, I promise." She tried her best to smile but all she could do was think about what Severus had said.

_You are not muggle. You are not witch. You are a mutt, worse than a Mudblood._

His silver eyes searched hers then finally looked down at their hands holding on tight to each other. "If he had…"

"He'd regret it." Gwen finished and Sirius grinned down at her. For a moment they sat there smiling at one another then Gwen looked down to their entwined hands. Sirius' were wide and dark compared to her own slim and pale fingers… and yet they meshed and they matched. _Tell him…_ a voice echoed in her head and she nodded to herself.

Looking up into his eyes she wondered what he would think but screwed up her courage before it failed her. "Sirius, about what he said."

A shiver shook her whole body as she thought of finally telling him. The pounding in her head lessened and she felt… right. But Sirius had felt the shiver as well. "It can wait. I don't care what that sniveling loser has to sa—"

"No, it can't wait. I've waited too long. Sirius… well, you heard Snape. And he's right." Sirius frowned at her so she elaborated. "Not about me not belonging here. Though I must admit when I first came I did feel that way. But he's right about something else."

"What could he possibly be right about? All I heard was a load of crap about how you don't belong here. But what right does he have to decide?"

She looked at his silver eyes sparking with a hint of anger. But what she had seen when she read him… "I'm not part muggle but… I'm not fully a witch either…"

Sirius looked even more confused and Gwen pushed away from him standing and walking away from him facing the castle as she gathered her thoughts. "Gwen?"

She turned to face him and took a deep breath. "My mother is a fairy."

"Fairy? As in a little person with wings?" he asked looked very much dumbstruck.

"Yes." She closed her eyes. Why was that always what people thought of first. "My mother has wings. She can change her size and make them disappear if she likes. My father is… was a wizard. I…I don't know what that makes me."

When he didn't say or move for a very long time Gwen wrapped her arms around her middle as if to stop the pain that seemed to have pooled there. _He didn't understand…_

The disappointment sprang up so fast that Gwen had to smash it down so it wouldn't show. Swallowing the lump in her throat she looked up at him and saw he was frowning. "I'm sorry, Sirius. But this is who I am. I can't change it." Looking down at her feet she walked around him but he stopped her with his arm and she looked up in surprise.

"What? You aren't going to wait to hear what I have to say? Don't you want to know? Or do you have it all marked out in that tidy little mind of yours?" he asked quietly enough but Gwen saw the anger and hurt that underlined his words in his eyes and her heart began to pound an almost hopeful tattoo in her chest where it had died a silent death only a moment before.

"Well, you want to hear?" slowly she forced herself to nod. "So you're a half-fairy? Half-mischievous-midget-with-wings? Was I supposed to shudder at the very idea that you weren't a pureblood? Was I just supposed to be so disgusted that I would walk out and just leave you? What? Since you seem to waiting for something, tell me what is it? Just so I get the reaction right." He said sarcastically and Gwen nearly flinched at the hard look in his eyes. "Well?"

Gwen didn't say anything for it was too hard to get the words past the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Did you really think so little of me? That I could only like you because you were a witch, is that it?"

That was all he said but suddenly anger welled up in her and she looked up at him in hurt. "No, that's not it, Sirius!" they both stood still for a second but Gwen couldn't stop herself from going on.

"You want of know what I think? What I thought? What I am and was scared of? All my life I have been told wizards are this and that. You can't trust a wizard. Wizards are heartless. Wizards steal your heart away and then leave you crushed… That's what I was told. Then I came here and I met _you_," her finger stabbed his chest she knew it must have hurt because he winced but she didn't stop. "Sirius Black, of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. _Toujours Pur._Always pure. Sirius Black the consummated player who flirts with every girl without exception! _Sirius_ _Black_ the cool, calm and completely wizard without a hint of difference in him! What was I supposed to think? That you would just accept me? Not likely."

The hard light came back into Sirius silver eyes and he pushed forward. "That's exactly it, Gwen, it was _me_you were thinking about. Sirius Black as you so eloquently put it. The guy who can't get you out of his god damned mind! I am **not** some faceless wizard." He looked at her searching her eyes. "And how did you even know that thing with my family. If you were really looking at me then you would know. I want nothing to do with that moto, with my family… with any of that crap. Because you Gwendolyn Farr are a girl I can't get out of my head. The girl I lo—"

He seemed to run out of words as if he couldn't bring himself to go any further. "I mean do you see me. Me, Sirius, the guy you… the guy, I _hope_ you at least like?"

"But don't you see that makes it all the worse, because I _do_like you. I more than like you. Sirius, I—" They both seemed to stand still as the words stood on her lips. She couldn't believe she was saying it to him. It seemed so soon but her heart pounding in her chest she just couldn't deny it. "I love you."

Sirius eyes went wide and the wind seemed to be knocked right out of his lungs. She loved him. She had said the words that he was too terrified to speak himself. He took a step forward and Gwen stepped backwards. "I hated lying to you but I was… and _am_ scared out of my mind."

"Of what? Tell me Gwen."

"I haven't even begun to tell you." the tears started welling up in her eyes again and Sirius stepped forward again but she shook her head. "I'm not even done… lying to you yet…"

"What does that even mean Gwen?"

"When I first came. All of you: Remus, James, Raven, Lily, you... You were all so nice to me… You didn't even know me but you went out of your way to be nice. And then I had to think, to really think and I wondered if mama was wrong. I've just gone against everything that I learned from my mother, so yes, I am scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of you, scared of me, scared of the truth and scared the lies. You don't deserve to be lied to." She turned to look out over the lake that stretched out like more inky stars that mirrored the stars above. "It's not just that I am a faery… I'm clairsentient."

"What?"

"Clairsentient. I see things: memories or images usually, but sometimes I feel emotions, when I touch objects or people." She turned to face him once more and he looked at her his eyes thinking.

Looking down he seemed to realized what you meant. "That was how you knew about my family. The first day. You saw it. So then you probably know more about everyone then we think." Something seemed to dawn. "You know about Remus then."

She nodded. "I always feel like I'm invading. It's not something I can always control. Sometimes things are just so close to the surface they just bubble through. Sometimes if the emotions are strong enough I can feel them vibrating on the air… No one was supposed to know who or what I was… I promised."

Sirius seemed quiet, thoughtful. "So you're different. So you have a gift. There's nothing wrong with that…"

"I know there isn't!" she stopped her voice seeming to echo around her. Swallowing she continued more calmly. "I know it. I knew it the moment I made that stupid promise. But you know why I made it? Because she _asked_me to. She _asked_me to do this one thing when all my life she has done everything… And I…" tears welled up in her eyes and Gwen leaned back against the wall as her tears fell silently down her cheeks.

Sirius leaned down and reached out as if to make her stop crying simply by force of will. "Gwen…"

"I hate you right now… leave me alone… go back to the common room. Be mad at me… hate me… I don't care, just go." She managed through her tears, as the pounding in her head seemed to thicken.

Then Sirius rose and for an instant she thought he was going to do as she asked him but instead he leaned down again and hauled her up and pushed her head onto his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her and he held her close. For an instant Gwen didn't know what to do then she wrapped her arms around him and just cried.

"I am _not_ leaving you." she heard him whisper into her hair and her arms tightened around him. The tears rolled through her. She had broken the only promise that she swore she never would. But was it really so wrong? Was she wrong for breaking the promise when it was a promise that she should never have made? "I love you too."

The words were whispered quietly and so secretly she nearly missed them. But they more than anything else he had said were what she needed. Pulling back she looked and couldn't believe that she was staring up at those beautiful silver eyes and that they were looking at her in such wonder. A look she was sure was mimicked on his face.

"What? Shocked?" Sirius smirked, his eyes glimmering boyishly. "Thought Sirius Black couldn't fall in love huh? Well, guess what I guess you can't tell just by holding my hand then."

Then she laughed a little and looked up at him cupping his face in her hands. A promise broken and a new one forged. His eyes dropped to her lips then and a blush stole across his face as he dipped his head close and his warm breath feathered across her face. Their lips met in complete concord neither sure who started the kiss first. It was soft and short just a touching of lips. But it was the best kiss either had experienced.

And then there was the silence of the waves lapping against the castle walls and the sure and stead beating of their two hearts. "Do you know that you're the first person I've yelled at in all of my life?"

He chuckled. "Oh? Was that the only first that I get credit for tonight?"

She swatted his shoulder and he laughed gathering closer. "Glad to be of service." He murmured into her hair.

Gwen put her face in his shoulder as he laughed at her. "I think it's time to head back to the common room." She looked out at the moon and jumped up. "It's almost 10! Oh dear! If we don't hurry Filch will make sure we get detention."

"Argus Filch will never catch us." Sirius said knowingly and then pulled a piece of parchment from him back pocket.

"Sirius, this is hardly the time to be writing a note. We've got to get moving and now." She said as she glanced impatiently at the door then back to the parchment.

Sirius grinned at her then pulled out his wand. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good!" he tapped the paper and ink lines began appearing outlining the Hogwarts grounds. Then dots appeared with names attached. In the astronomy tower two said, Sirius Black and Gwendolyn Farr.

Gwen smiled and then looked at the rest of it. It was very detailed. "A hidden map."

"The Marauders' map. Remus, James and me made it. Peter sort of helped." Distractedly he looked it over and then pointed to a dot somewhere on the fifth floor. "Looks like, Filch is making his rounds. If we hurry we might be able to make it to the common room without difficulty. Nobody seemed to be out. 'Cept maybe Peeves but he shouldn't be too hard to get past."

He turned and walked over to the wall and then pulled a silvery cloak from the floor as he flipped it around he wrapped it around himself and Gwen saw that his head was the only thing that remained.

"An invisibility cloak." She reached out and touched its cool silky fabric and smiled. "So that's how you've been getting in here without me seeing you. Let me guess, borrowed from James?"

He nodded. "How'd you—oh right. That's going to take some getting used to." He shook his head then moved to spread the cloak around her. She stepped back and he looked at her confused.

"We could use a disillusionment spell." She said and he just grinned devilishly at her.

"This is much more fun." He said and then pulled her close so they could both look at the marauders' map.

Then they headed down to the common room. Thankfully Filch stayed up on the fifth floor and Peeves was too busy destroying a classroom to pay much attention to them. And at a little past ten-thirty they plopped down on the common room couch.

For a moment Gwen thought of not moving until morning but then she made herself get up. Yawning she looked over at Sirius and smiled. "I think I'll call it a night. After facing a Slytherin, yelling for my very first time, crying my eyes out and dodging maniac poltergeists in deserted school grounds I think I've had enough, at least for today. I want to tell the others tomorrow. Where do you think will be the best place?"

"We can have it here. We'll just have to wait until everyone else clears out for the night."

"All right then, tomorrow night. You'll tell Remus and James?"

"As soon as they waked up. Now, you've got to go to sleep and so do I. I'll see you in the morning?" he asked standing up and slowly walking with her hand and handover to the stairs that lead to the girls' dormitory.

"Unless you go blind in your sleep, yes." She said then started up the steps. But before she could walk all the way but Sirius called her back.

Then he stepped up on one of the stairs and they folded from under her causing her to slide down where Sirius caught her. She held his shoulders for balance but then she looked into his eyes, which were twinkling brightly. "Boys aren't allowed on the girls' staircases."

"I know. I just wanted to catch you," he said with a smart-aleck grin. "Besides I missed a very important event that happened tonight being recounted in your summary. Thought maybe I should remind you how it went."

He leaned down and kissed her and Gwen smiled as she sunk into the kiss. She found that she could quite easily get used to this. "Go to bed and get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"G'night, Gwendolyn. Dream easy." He said and bowed gallantly.

Gwen smiled and then slowly walked up the stairs. "Hey Sirius," he turned his foot on the first step to boys dorm. "Thanks for understanding. I'm glad that I know you better now. I like the Sirius I got to know tonight."

He smiled and she closed the door. As soon as she disappeared Sirius walked to the boys' dormitory and without bothering to change into pajamas fell onto the bed and into a quick dreamless sleep.

Only once did he think and those thoughts were for Gwen. _There's so much more I want you to understand Gwendolyn Farr…_

* * *

_A/N: 1/7/2012 Didn't think I'd be coming back to this story any time soon but a new reader pointed out that I had missed a very important little piece. in the original chapter, if you had the chance to read it Gwendolyn admitted that she loved Sirius and Sirius completely didn't react and didn't even say he loved her back! GASP! So anyway thanks be to FlyingTiger99. I went back in and added a bunch of stuff that i like alot... hope it was a good read and it should still flow well. Who knows it might spark a complete rewrite... I've been playing around with that anyway... lol :)_


	10. Truth reveiled

A/N: So now I have made you wait... Hope you don't hate me too much but I lost my disk and I had to go seaching for another one. And once I finally found one I go to put it in the slot and there's the other one... Sometimes I'm such a _lolo_. So I apologize for making you wait. And hope you enjoy the next exciting installment of Gwendolyn. Please don't forget to review! I always need the feedback.

**Chapter 10**

Sirius held Gwen's hand as they sat on the couch heads bent as they talked. Raven and Lily smiled until the noticed the nervous look in Gwen's eyes. Leaning her head on his shoulder Gwen took a deep breath.

"Sirius, I'm scared…"

"Don't be. They'll be fine with it. You just have to tell them."

"I know… but I'm still scared. I wish everyone would just go to bed so I could tell them and get it over with already."

"Be patient." Sirius told her and she nodded slowly but the butterflies didn't want to stop. In fact, they seemed to take it as a cue to start up worse acrobatics.

Finally the last straggler left and Gwen and Sirius stood and faced the couches where Raven, Remus, Lily and James seated themselves. Gwen looked into Sirius' eyes one last time and then she nodded and let go of his hand. He leaned back against the wall and then turned his attention to his friends' reactions.

"I've known you all for what seems like forever but there's… more to me than you know. I hate lying to you, which is why you're all here." Gwen began hesitantly then took a deep breath. She told them about her mother and how her father had died. She told them about being clairsentient. Then she looked up at them all for the very first time and what she saw nearly broke her heart.

None of them looked disgusted. None of them seemed to see her as some vile thing that did not belong at Hogwarts. They all smiled and when she finally finished James laughed, but not at her…

"You thought that we wouldn't like you because of all this?" James asked when he had finally stopped. "Gwen, you're our friend. I mean you brought Sirius Black, the permanent bachelor, to his knees."

"Well, y-yes, but not on purpose and he did his own magic on me. And back then when I met you I wasn't a friend. You didn't even know me then. James you made me laugh. And Remus there's something about you… you're just so… calm. And Sirius… well, let's just say he has a very striking aura."

"Can you see auras?" Lily asked sudden interest sparking in her eyes.

"No. At least... not naturally, with lots of practice and some major training I _might _be able to. But...but by nature, I'm a… well, to put it in simple terms… I... I touch someone or something and I can see images or memories of events that have happened to or around the person or object. But sometimes I don't _see_, but I _feel…_" she laughed at her inane description. "It's kind of hard to explain. You get what I mean, right?" They all nodded and she smiled. It felt good to be talking so freely with them. But she noticed that they seemed almost tentative to ask her anything.

So she smiled at them, "You can ask your questions. I know you're dying to know. Go on, ask."

Raven asked first. "What did you see? From us…anything? Or do you have to _concentrate_ to get an image or do a reading?"

"Usually that is the case. Especially when a person has little or no life altering experiences. But with you… it was a lot different. Each of you seemed to have some experience that changed you. In fact the only one I didn't get an 'image' from was you, Lily." She said turning to face her friend.

"But why? I've had lots happen to me. I come from a muggle family, for one. Shouldn't getting my letter from Hogwarts have been a memory of mine?"

"Well, yes, it should have, but… well, I can't even begin to fathom how the mind works. Sometimes people are just hard to read. It happens."

"So what do you see from me?" Raven asked eagerly.

"I saw you sitting looking down from the window of Number 4 Privet Drive wishing to be back in Utah. Then your friends came and you ran to meet them."

"And me?" James asked excitedly.

"I saw your first time on a broom stick during a Quidditch match. The very first snitch you ever caught. You won that game. Then you looked to the stands…" she stopped not sure whether to say that his eyes had sought out Lily and only Lily.

"What about me?" Remus asked and Gwen met his quiet gaze with her own. He looked at her a full minute when she hadn't said anything he smiled. "It's alright, you can say it. They all know."

"Two things I saw with you, Remus. One in a dream, another when we met. When we met and shook hands I saw three things in a quick flash. The moon, a wolf and your eyes. Eyes of the wolf, I knew then. The second time in a dream, I saw you as a little boy. You heard a shot, raced through the forest and saw _Him… _You ran but you couldn't make it… He caught you. Here." She took her finger and marked a jagged scar on her own upper arm that Sirius knew matched Remus'.

Slowly Remus lifted his sleeve and showed her the mark. "This it?" he asked smiling as Gwen nodded.

"And me? What do you see of me?" Sirius asked, making her look up at him when he had been quiet throughout the whole thing.

"I saw _not you_ exactly, at least not the now you but the little boy you were once alone in the great empty halls of the Black House. You cried for someone to see you. In a room which held a tapestry of your family… I saw that image over and over again. You were never as _good_ as your brother Regulus. There I agreed with them. You were better. Are better..."

Sirius smiled at her and she smiled back but then Lily nervously cleared her voice. "Can you… that is, can you see a future?"

"Well, I've never…that is… My mother does do fortunes and she did train me but it was never my strong point. I could try if you like. Would you like that, Lily?" Lily nodded and Gwen smiled. "Alright then, let's give this a go. Would the rest of you help?"

When they nodded, she motioned them to sit in a circle linking hand around her and Lily then told them to just hold hands and relax. "You will be our guards as to do this I'm going to need to reach way down and use most of my energy."

"It won't harm you will it?" Sirius asked not sure he wanted this to happen if it did.

"No, I'll be fine. I'll just have to relax and you being tense won't help. It was bad enough earlier with Snape egging me on and you sitting there itching for fi…" she stopped mid-sentence. She hadn't meant to mention that Severus Snape had bothered her.

"Snivelus? What's he got to with this?" James asked his eyes growing dark.

"It's nothing… he just…"

"Nothing! Severus Snape called you worse than a Mudblood and it's nothing?"

"Just drop it, Sirius. I'm fine and that's all that matters."

"No, I will not drop it." He turned to the others. "Yesterday when Gwen was up in the tower Snivelus came and he called her worse than a Mudblood. He stood there telling her she didn't belong here at Hogwarts. He lied to her face and had he stayed any longer he would have regretted it."

"But he didn't and I'm fine. And if you recall, _Sirius Black,_ he left because I gave him no other choice. I can take care of myself and I do not need you bullying people for me! Now drop it!" realizing what she had said Gwen put her hand over her mouth and stared wide eyed at Sirius. But the hand shook slightly so she put it down in her lap so her friends couldn't see.

Raven put her hands over hers. "He hurt you, didn't he?" when Gwen lifted her head to protest she cut her off. "Not physically but emotionally. He hurt you. Don't listen to him, Gwen. You belong here. And don't let Sirius annoy you. As sweet as he is he has a tendency to put his foot in his mouth around you. Now are we going to read Lily's fortune or not?"

Gwen smiled at Raven then looked over at Sirius. "She's right again, you know."

"I know. And somehow it doesn't surprise me." He said then he grinned and joined hands between Raven and James. "Now let's read this fortune."

Gwen nodded then looked at Lily. "Just relax all of you, close your eyes and breathe deep. In…out…in…out… that's it... Now Lily, mind you I'm not very good at this so what I get may not make sense. You want to go through with this anyway?" When Lily nodded Gwen linked her hands with Lily's. "Okay then, but you are warned; my predictions may not come true. Close your eyes and don't let go for anything…"

Keeping her eyes closed she concentrated on the slow thudding heartbeat of Lily's that made its way from Lily to her. Pulses seemed to shock up her arm and then it was like suddenly she was pulled through a doorway or something against her will. She heard bells ringing in her head and laughter seemed to surround her.

Then the image of a church flashed and she saw a happy couple rushing from its doors waved away by their many friends. Then she saw their faces and held onto it for as long as she could… It was James and Lily! Married! And they loved each other! She saw the love surrounding them. Pure and strong.

Years passed and she saw a boy who looked like James and had Lily's bright green eyes. Glasses just like James' graced his face and he wore Gryffindor robes. But his eyes were sad and he was alone. She tried to dig into why and in a flash of green she saw Peter, Sirius and a snake. She heard evil laughter reverberate through her head. Then a pain lashed onto her forehead and in a flash it was all gone.

With a gasp Gwen broke connection and opened her eyes leaned back onto one arm and panted for breath. As she had the night she had looked at the vision of Remus she felt drained but instead of the knowledge of what it was about him that had bothered her she was left with the muddled bits that she had seen.

"Gwen?" Sirius leaned down beside her and looked concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Fine… tired but fine. Do you want to know what I saw Lily?" she asked turning to her friend who nervously nodded her head. "I saw a marriage of true love. A man, who loves you more than life itself and who in return you love the same. And I saw a little boy, he had your eyes…" she stopped not sure what to say of the rest.

"What else did you see?" Lily urged her on.

"I don't know. It happened fast. I saw…Peter and Sirius and a snake… A great snake…" a shudder raced through her. "Then something happened. Evil happened… It ended there. I can't tell you what or how or why…but something happened. I'm sorry, Lily. I'm not very good at this kind of thing. Sorry..."

She looked up at James and then to Sirius. Then her eyes traveled to Raven and Remus. "Also, I want to say again, my predictions may not come true. They're only guesses and the future is always your choice. Anything I said is a choice, your choice. I can't make guarantees."

"It's all right… Are you? Are you okay, Gwen? You're shaking." Lily leaned down and Gwen tried to smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine, really. Just…tired. I'm...I'm going to go bed." She smiled at them all and she made her way up to the girls' dormitory.

"Gwen?" she turned and looked back at Sirius and then her eyes traveled to Remus, Raven, Lily and finally James.

"Don't worry about me. I've never been able to handle major readings. It always zaps me. Now I'm going to bed before I fall down on my face."

"G'night, Gwen." They said together and the shaking stopped as she grinned at her friends.

"G'night, you guys."

She concentrated on making it up the stairs but when she looked back she realized something. _I'm not alone anymore…_ For some reason that made it all the easier to go to sleep and dream of nothing and everything all at once.


	11. Boots and lies

A/N: This has to be one of my all-time favorite scenes with Raven and Gwen. Because it really shows you more about how different the two of them are. Plus Raven is being well... Raven. Enjoy and pls review! -Angel

**Chapter 11**

"Raven? Raven, why are you putting those on?" Gwen watched as Raven as she slipped on her brother's old army boots and resolutely tied the shoelaces. "Raven, you aren't going to…? Raven, promise me you won't hurt Severus. Please?"

"Fine," she answered all two readily then she stuck her foot in the second boot. "I won't **_hurt_ **him. I'll just… bruise him a bit. Maybe mortally wound him."

"Raven! Please, you really don't need to do this, you know. You've all done enough as it is. I can protect myself, you know. But enough is enough. I'm fine. He didn't hurt me…"

"Gwen it isn't just because he hurt you, though that alone is enough of a reason to get Snivelus in trouble…"

"Raven, don't you see? This is why I didn't want Sirius telling you. I knew you'd overreact. He didn't hurt me and just because he is a… a narrowed-minded jerk doesn't mean that you should kick his butt."

"No, of course not." Raven looked trite for a moment as she stood and looked at Gwen. "I won't kick his butt, Gwen. Promise. I'll kick him high and hard but not in the butt. That I can promise you."

Raven grinned then she ran from the dormitory clomping her boots noisily as she did leaving an exasperated Gwen to follow. "Raven!"

Gwen ran down the stairs after her and then she saw Remus and the others seated in the Common Room waiting for them. "Remus, thank god you're here. Can you please talk your girlfriend out of hurting Severus?"

Remus glanced over at Raven, who clomped her way almost threateningly towards him, and then he glanced back at Gwen. "Sorry, Gwen, but I'm not _that_ crazy. When Raven makes up her mind the only person who tries to change it is a desperately stupid person."

"Oh you're no help!" spinning she faced James and Lily with a pleading look in her eyes. "James… Lily… Can't either of you talk some sense into her?"

James just shook his head and smiled.

And then Lily shrugged. "Gwen, you'll have to learn this eventually but Raven has no sense. So trying to talk some into her is pointless."

Finally as a last resort she swung towards Sirius who stood behind her. "Sirius, you've got to talk her out of it. Please? For me?"

Looking very solemn Sirius walked over to Raven and took her shoulders in his hands. "Raven… Promise me something?"

Raven's eyes narrowed then she raised her chin. "I'm listening but I can't promise you anything."

"Promise me you won't hurt Severus…" a dangerous light came to Raven's eyes and Gwen felt pride grow in her for Sirius' understanding then he shattered it… "Until I'm there of course."

Raven grinned then and she slugged Sirius lightly in the chest. "That I can promise."

"Good," turning Sirius faced Gwen his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I've seen Raven's anger in action and it'll be nice to see it directed at someone other than me for a change."

Gwen couldn't say anything and only shook her head. He didn't understand. She guessed no one ever could. "Come on, Gwen, he hurt you. He _insulted_ you. We're just making him pay for it. He deserves this." He held out his hand but Gwen could barely make it out.

"No one deserves _this_. _No one _does. A grudge is a grudge. And it always starts with one person. And then that person changes. It eats them alive… You don't know what it does to a person… I do… In fact I wouldn't be here if…" she looked away form him then and took another step back. "I'm going… somewhere…"

Turning she ran from the common room she didn't know where her feet were taking her. Only that she had to get away. She walked down unfamiliar hallways and went down corridors she had seen many times. Finally her feet slowed and she found herself just outside of Professor Dumbledore's office.

The great eagle's statue eyes stared at her and she felt remorse. She should never have disobeyed her mother. She didn't belong here. Carina Farr was right on predictions again. And now she had almost told her friends the truth. If the Headmaster found out, surely he would kick her out of Hogwarts. Then where would she be?

Sirius didn't see Gwen until History of Magic class and even there she ignored him. He tried to talk to her but her eyes remained steadily on Professor Binns as he explained the Goblin Wars. "Gwen, talk to me? Please talk to me? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Sirius now is not the time." She said as she studiously dipped her quill in ink and continued writing her notes.

"And why the bloody hell not?"

She didn't even have the decency blink at his words, just dipped her bloody quill and continued writing. "We are in class and I am trying to learn."

Stubborn as always Sirius was not one to give in so easily. "What do you mean you be here if… If what Gwen? Tell me. You know you can trust me."

"Sirius, you are going to get us _both_ in trouble. Now be quiet. I can't hear the professor."

"To hell with the bloody professor. Trouble is my middle name and you know it. Now tell me, what was it you meant? I won't leave you alone until you tell me."

This time she actually paused her quill in mid-air just above the parchment and a small smile tugging at her lips. "Sirius Trouble Black. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue now does it? What on earth was your mother thinking?"

"Nothing that can be printed I'm afraid." He said smiling with her then almost cursed again as the smiled vanished and a worried frown crossed her forehead.

"Yes, of course that would be the case." She turned her head back to the parchment and then ignored him for the rest of the class. _That girl_ was driving him insane. He swore if he didn't get her to talk soon he'd rip out his _bloody_ hair!

* * *

Gwen sighed as she made her way up to the Gryffindor common room at nearly 10. The fat lady was still slightly cross at her from her first time there and gave a short sniff as she swung open when Gwen gave her the password. She was so tired that Gwen was almost certain she could do nothing more than fall down face first on her bed and sleep the rest of the night away. 

Then she entered the room and saw that Remus, Raven, James, Sirius and Lily sat by the fire. All of them looking tired and worried. As soon as Gwen entered the common room Lily stood and walked over to her. "Gwen, oh goodness, you're alright. We were all so worried. Where have you been?"

"The library. I was studying. Why are you all up? It's late and we need to get some rest. Tomorrow's the first Quidditch match, isn't it James?"

"We were waiting for you." Raven said quietly as she stood and slowly walked to Gwen. The army boots were missing replaced by her usual tennis shoes old and worn with age. "I didn't hurt Severus. It was rather tempting since he walked past me and I could have tripped him, but I didn't. I'd never do something to hurt you Gwen or upset you. I'm sorry, you thought I would."

"Oh Raven… thank you. And I guess I owe you… all of you some sort of explanation." She gave a short bark of laughter then sighed. "This sounds familiar doesn't it? Me, explaining another lie."

"Yeah, it does…" Sirius said then he made room for her to sit on the chair beside him. "Come over here."

Biting her lip Gwen held back the tears and sat beside Sirius hugging him quickly as she buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry…" she murmured and he ran a hand down her hair.

"It's okay, just don't start crying on me." He told her and laughing she managed to pull herself together and sat up. Turning she looked at her friends. Remus and Raven sat together on once couch and on the other James and Lily sat each one on opposite ends of the couch, Lily being closest to her and Sirius.

"Let's see, where to start? Well, I've told you about my father's death and how my mother took it. She's always hated the wizarding world and she never forgave the wizards for what they took from her. Which is why I was so nervous when I came here. I didn't know what to expect. That is, I _knew _what my mother told me, but I had never met a real wizard or witch. Or seen so much magic in one place. Everything was new to me… but to get here I…" Gwen suddenly stopped short as small owl buzzed into the room from the stairway that led up to the dormitories.

It buzzed to and fro around the room as if looking for something then it spotted Gwen and landed lightly on her shoulder. Gwen turned and looked into the wide moon shaped eyes of the miniature owl her mother adored. "Luka, what are you…?" a fat red envelope dropped into her lap and she stared at it a full minute as the rest of her friends seemed to shrink away from it.

"It's a Howler…" James said almost fearfully.

"Howler?" her mind buzzed two and fro and then her eyes widened. She remembered reading about these. They were yelling letters that burst open if you didn't open them right away. "I'm not opening it. You open it Sirius!" she shoved the letter at him and then he passed it to Lily who quickly tossed it to Raven who tossed it to James who, of course, tossed it to Remus. If any of them had seen the way they looked tossing that letter about as if it were a muggle's hot potato they would have burst out laughing.

But none of them were laughing. Finally the letter began to smoke and Raven (who had been the one holding it) yelped and dropped it to the ground. "It's gonna blow! Run for cover!"

Raven grabbed Remus and they dodged behind the couch they had been sitting in only moments before. Lily and James each hid behind their couch and Sirius grabbed Gwen and tossed her down backwards so she landed on her butt behind the chair they had been sitting in.

More stunned then anything Gwen heard something that sounded like an explosion and then the letter burst from where it lay it's enveloped flaps in the shape of lips, until it was mere inches from Gwen's face. "GWENDOLYN DACHA GENE EPIPHYSIS FARR!" it started and terrified of it Gwen back up until she hit the opposite wall, even then leaning back as if to escaped the words it spewed onto her face. "HOW DARE YOU GO AGAINST MY WISHES AND GO TO_ **THAT SCHOOL**_! WHEN DUMBLEDORE SENT THAT LETTER I EXPRESSLY TOLD YOU THAT YOU WOULD NOT GO! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT **_THEIR_** KIND! YOU ARE A FAIRY AND MY DAUGHTER AND I SHALL NOT HAVE YOU RUNNING ABOUT AND LEARNING WHAT THEY CALL _MAGIC_! YOU SHALL BE TRAINED AS I WAS. AS ALL THE JUNTA FAIRIES HAVE BEEN! YOU ARE TO COME STRAIGHT HOME!**_ NOW!_**" the letter stopped shouting and in the sweet coaxing voice that Gwen remembered her mother used when she was sure of something said. "SendLuka with your answer so I shall know when you are to arrive."

Then the letter dropped to the floor in front of Gwendolyn and burst into flames. Shocked and terrified Gwen stared at it for a whole minute as if afraid it would come back to life. Then she looked up and saw Remus, Raven, James and Lily all looking cautiously over their hiding spots cushions. Sirius lay on his belly where he had landed and stared at her. Then a small grin came across his face. "Gwendolyn Dacha Gene Epiphysis Farr?"

Gwen stared at him as she took in that he had actually had time to notice her full name when her mother had been doing all the rest of that yelling. Then a small smile split her face and she slowly nodded. "I've always hated it." She managed then burst into laughter with the rest of them.

"Dacha and Epiphysis are names of some Fae relatives on my mother's Junta Fairy side." She said explaining as she righted the chair that had fallen over when Sirius pushed her down. "Epiphysis you probably heard of. She was a muse of a sort. They came up with the word epiphany for her. Dacha… I don't really know who she was. Gene was my grandfather's name, on my father's side… but yeah, so I guess that's it. You pretty much know the whole story now…"

"Not quite. You want to run it by us again. Before you were… interrupted," Lily said eyeing the smoldering piled that had been the Howler as she seated herself back on the couch. "You were saying to get here you had to…?"

Gwen seated herself and Sirius moved to sit beside her and she scooted over to make room for him. "Well, as you can tell from what I've told you and… what you've heard, mama doesn't much _like_ you wizarding folks. She blames you all for his death. So when I received my letter I was ecstatic. Only one other person in my family had ever been offered the chance to come here, to Hogwarts. My Papa… He always told me wonderful stories about this place… No, that's not right… there was someone else, someone on my mother's side. My great-grandma."

She looked down at her hands for a moment then she slowly pulled her wand out and showed it to them. Slowly she rubbed her hand along the intricate knotting vines that ran the length of the wand. "This belonged to her. In my family she was a disgrace. She loved the wizarding world so and masqueraded as a witch. Dumbledore convinced the old Headmaster to let her learn here. And she learned everything. No one ever knew who she was or what she was. She learned and then left. After she had my grandma things changed. She disappeared. No one in my family speaks of her. I had to ask so many times just to learn what little I know. Iam the most like her I hear. Though my hair is like my father's. Dark. And my eyes are his. In me there is… the same desperate feeling of being left behind and wanting to learn. Thirsting to learn…"

"When you received your letter your mother must have gone nuts. What did you do?" Remus asked from his seat next to Raven.

"You're right about that. She started ranting and raving again." Slipping her wand back into her cloak she folded her hands. "She forbid me to step foot upon the lands of **_that school_** as she called it. Then she took off in a huff to tend to her herb garden. She left me alone with my thoughts, the Hogwarts invitation and information. I packed so fast whatever I thought I'd need and then I traveled by flu powder to Diagon Alley. There a teacher met me and then took me to Hogwarts. I just never told Dumbledore that mother hadn't agreed to let me come. I mentioned she was… uncertain about letting me come… but…" Gwen shrugged then looked at her friends.

She wasn't at all afraid that they would blow the whistle upon her. She was certain that they understood her and she knew that they would only do as they saw was right.

Raven took a deep breath then let it out in an almost sigh then she looked at the others. "Looks like we've got ourselves a rogue fairy. There's just one thing that I've got to say to you, _Miss Farr."_

She stood and Gwen stood as well until they stood face to face, Raven's eyes were narrowed in the same look she had before and then she smiled. "Warn me the next time your mad mother sends you a Howler. I don't want to be around to blow my ears off."

Gwen laughed then and she looked at all her friends and then she did something she had never done to anyone. She hugged Raven and then she leaned back and smiled, nodding.

"That I can promise." She said mimicking Raven's earlier statement as she counted her blessings. All five of them. "I can definitely promise that."


	12. Quidditch Love

**Chapter 12**

The Quidditch Match had all of Hogwarts excited. The massive stands were filled with so many people and there was so much yelling and exuberant cheering in the air that Sirius was sure that Gwen would break her neck as she strained to take it all in. Her eyes were wide in delight as she looked around and then she looked back at him and flashed him a grin. Her brown curls were loose again and as she turned they flashed in the sunlight with mahogany highlights and Sirius smiled.

At these times Gwen reminded him of an exuberant child at Christmas time opening her first present. So different from him…

"They're coming out! It's James!" Gwen said breaking into his thoughts and she pointed as James and the rest of the Gryffindor teams flew onto the field in the scarlet robes. "This is so exciting… I can't wait for the match to begin…"

Raven had her boots back on and she was stomping them loudly as she clapped and yelled with everyone else. But under her breath she kept chanting something and Gwen finally asked her what it was.

"Oh nothing, it's a muggle song. It's sung by Queen." Raven said as she watched the field. "It goes, "We will, we will rock you!" You have to do this certain clap or pounding to go with it."

Raven sang the phrase and demonstrated pounding her boots into the stands flooring but Gwen wasn't interested she looked confused for a moment then voice what bothered her. "Wait… a queen sings this song?" Gwen asked looking confused

"No… _A group_ called _Queen_ sings it"

"A group of Queens… but why do they want to sing it?"

"Oh… never mind. Look it's the Ravenclaws!" Raven pointed across the field and Sirius saw that is was. The opposing team burst onto the fields from the opposite side of the stadium their own purple and black robes billowing in the wind. They made their go-around and the Ravenclaw stands burst with cheering and applause. As they made their go-rounds Gwen smiled.

"I know her!" she shouted to Sirius over the crowd as she pointed to a petite redhead who took her place with the rest of her team. "Her name's Danae Allen. She lives in the village a little ways from my home in the meadow. She often walks up the path to go to the wishing well every evening at sunset. Oh, James is in for it now… Danae is wicked fast on her broom. I've seen her practice…"

"Never underestimate, James. Since he's joined the team he's never lost a match and always caught the snitch. At least at every game I've ever been to."

"I only said that Danae would give him a run for his money. I never told you I believed either one would beat the other. But let's see… maybe Potter will slip up. Maybe not… I do hope not…" she said then cast a worried look to the field as the teacher, a Madam Hooch flew onto the field.

She was a wizened witch with graying hair, which was spike up around her face. From far away Gwen couldn't see her eyes but she knew they were a bright yellow shaped almost like Kismet's eyes. Cat eyes. The whistle's shrill sound split the air and the fifteen brooms sprang into the air. The Quaffle was tossed and the Bludgers flew out in their maniacal way. The Snitch flew into the air and then with a quick swivel around James' and then Danae's head it disappeared into the sky with a quick flash of gold.

"Let the game begin!" shouted the announcer and Gwen watched in amazement as the brooms took off. "It's Gryffindor in possession of the Quaffle…"

Gwen watched the entire match in awe as the brooms became blurred mirages and she lost count of the points between them until the announcer mentioned the score again. "And Ravenclaw leads 40-30. Gryffindor had better catch up soon."

"Where's James?" Gwen asked and then looked at Sirius who pointed and handed her the binoculars he had been using to watch the game.

"Up there. He usually stays out of the way so he doesn't get in the way of the Chasers or hit by a Bludger by mistake." He told her and then turned back to the action of the game.

Gwen focused her eyes on him and then smiled as she saw his concentrated stare as he scoured the air for the snitch. He dodged a rogue Bludger and then his head snapped to attention. Gwen saw the glint of gold but for a moment held her breath as she tried to focus on the glint she had seen. Then James was off after it. _It was the Snitch!_

"He's seen the Snitch!" Gwen said and she followed him with binoculars for a moment before handing them to Sirius so he could get a better look. Her heart started pounded harder as she watched James sped his way through Chasers and dodged Bludgers. Then Danae came up beside him, her eyes also intent upon the Snitch.

For a while they rode shoulder-to-shoulder, then the Snitch veered sharply off-course. James quickly adjusted and brought his broom around following it and as he did he knocked into Danae. Danae then moved off course only to come back sharply ramming into James. James came back and rammed into her.

Then the snitch went straight up. James jerked his broom swiftly and then he and Danae were headed straight up. The Snitch dodged this way and that then headed straight down. Danae and James followed quickly on its tail. And for just a moment Danae edge in front of James and reached out with her hand for the Snitch. But a careening Bludger went for her hand and she pulled it back and pulled up short to just barely miss being hit.

James saw his chance and then he leaned down and race towards the Snitch with what Gwen was almost sure was a smirk of confidence. His hand reached out and with a quick snatch he grabbed up the Snitch out of the air. Then he drove straight up and he let out a yell of victory. The crowd went wild and Gwen jumped up with the others screaming just as loudly if not louder than everyone else.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!" The announcer shouted over the hub of the crowd. "POTTER GRABS THE SNITCH! AND THE GAME IS OVER! 180 – 40… Oh, too bad for Ravenclaw and such a close game…"

Jumping up and down she laughed with joy and then leapt at Sirius and hugged him tightly even as he was enthusiastically yelling and clapping with the others. For a moment his arms closed around her and Gwen felt safe and protected but then the world intruded and Raven poked her in the back.

"Come on! Let's go meet him at the entrance! Oh, Gryffindor is going to party tonight!" then with a wave and a grin Raven raced down from the stands and Gwen smiled at Sirius and Remus who followed her down. Then she stopped as she raced after them.

Turning back she looked to where Lily stood quiet as ever. Her hair was loose and the wind blew it this way and that. But her eyes were on the Quidditch field and she didn't seem to mind her wayward strands.

Stepping up beside her she saw that James had landed and was being swarmed by the other Gryffindors, player and spectators alike. He still held the Snitch tightly in his hand raised over his head and he laughed as his friends lifted him onto their shoulders and escorted him off the field.

Lily smiled then and slowly she blew a kiss to James as if she was alone. "Strange isn't it? He's not so hard to like when he's just being himself…" she murmured then looked up at Gwen and then blushed. "Thought I was alone. Raven doesn't usually notice me missing until later and Sirius and Remus… well, you know the guys."

"You really, really love him don't you, Lily?"

"I don't want to. Sometime he can just be so… annoying and hurtful. And he thinks its funny. He's so… immature sometimes. Like when he suspended Snape in the air. Mind you Severus is still a mean person but…well, sometimes he just acts so callously. And then there are times…"

"When you see the good in him. There's a lot of it, Lily. He just… doesn't know it. Don't take too long, Lily. For all you know you might end up losing him before you really know him." Gwen smiled and then putting her hand on her shoulder squeezed reassuringly before turning to leave.

She had just taken the first step when Lily called her back and she turned to face her. "When you saw… did you… that is, did you see who I married? Was it… was it James?"

Gwen looked down at the floor she remembered the vision she had had. In her mind she knew that there was no doubt about it she had seen James but if she told Lily she would balk. No one liked being told they had no say in their future. I mean look at her she had run away and was planning to disobey her mother a second time already.

"I don't really know… and it doesn't matter. Lily, it's your future, your decision. If you marry James or Severus or… whoever, it's your choice. I have nothing to say in it. My prophecy is only a guess and anything I saw could be changed as far as I know." She looked solemnly at Lily then smiled. "Now, come on… Raven's gonna definitely notice we're missing by now."

She turned and walked down the stairs and when they had reach the bottom of the stairs Lily stopped her again, this time by taking her hands in her own and smiling.

"Thank you, Gwen. For listening, for paying attention, for just being you, thank you. You are a very special person, Gwendolyn Dacha Gene Epiphysis Farr. And I know you have done so much by just knowing me. Thank you." Lily looked at there hands then grinned. "And I'll make you a promise. I won't marry Severus."

Gwen laughed and then smiled. "Glad to know it. Now come on… If we hurry there might still be some pumpkin juice left. If we're lucky." Gwen winked and the two girls headed off to join the rest of the screaming and yelling Gryffindors.

Gwen ran up beside Sirius just as he thumped James on the back and Remus shook his hand. Sirius, seeing her, smiled as he turned to her. "There you are. I was worried you'd run off without me." He grabbed her hand and took her away from the crowd towards the pumpkin juice bowl, as she turned back to watch as James grinned at Lily and showed her the Snitch.

"Caught it." He said and Lily nodded shyly looking at Gwen quickly then back to him.

"Yeah, you did." Lily murmured and Gwen grinned and satisfied turned to follow Sirius.

* * *

A/N: OOOO... I love that part! Sorry if I went a little off course in the story but I couldn't help it. I know that it isn't until their last year that Lily and James start dating but I thought what if long before that they already knew they loved each other? And plus... I am such a romantic... So sue me. They belong together and we all know it. Besides Gwen's like me. She can't help but meddle. Or as Raven would put it. "Help them find the right path." Please keep reading and review... 


	13. Quill and Parchment

Sorry this took so long... shakes fist stupid computer! But blast my computer not me... I did everything I could to hurry this along. So enjoy... Angel. ;)

**Chapter 13**

Gwen sat in the long ago abandoned common room at a small table with a parchment rolled out to send a note to her mama. The room still held the remembrance of the party that had made the now-fast-asleep Gryffindors fall one by one. Streamers and wrappers and old empty cups lay strewn this way and that. And a banner hung crookedly between the dormitory stairways proclaiming, _Gryffindors Are Winners!_

Staring bemusedly at the blank piece of parchment in front of her, Gwen sighed. Her mind buzzed to and fro as she held her quill in her hand. The ink had long ago dried on the tip and as she stared at the paper nothing appeared. Kismet meowed and then rubbed against Gwen's leg impatiently when she didn't get her mistress' attention right away.

Setting the quill down Gwen pulled her up into her lap and then sighed again. "Kismet, what am I going to write? How can I tell her everything and still make her understand?"

But of course Kismet couldn't give her an answer. She purred and then lay full-length on Gwen's lap. Stroking Kismet's soft fur she sighed again. Then the dormitory door swung open and she turned to look up and saw Lily and Raven slipping into the room. Smiling she watched as Lily sat down and saw she had Artemis on her shoulder.

"He wouldn't let us get to sleep until we got him out here." She said and then lifted him from her shoulder and handed him to Gwen. "He knows what you're doing and he wants to be ready."

Gwen took him and then snuggled him to her face before taking him back and patted him soft head. Then she looked up at her friends and watched as Raven took Kismet, who had deserted Gwen without a look back, into her own lap and scratched her thoughtfully behind her ear.

"I don't know what to write, you guys. I want to tell her about everything and yet I know she won't read it… She'll read that I'm not coming home and then she'll just… she won't read the rest…" she hugged Artemis to her for a moment and then sighed. "I know it."

"So don't tell her that you're not coming right away." Raven said talking for the first time since she had sat. "Tell her about Hogwarts first. Tell her about the places you've seen and the people you've met. Tell her about us. About… the magic of this place. Tell her about everything that you saw or that you still want to see. Make her see this place herself. Give her a view that isn't biased. Tell her about yourself. Tell her what you want. What you would like to do. Who you are… Tell her the truth."

Gwen sat Artemis down on the table and he fluttered across the desk knocking the quill so it rolled into her lap. Then he hooted softly and she looked into his eyes. Then she turned and looked at her friends and then she smiled. Nodding she picked up her quill and dipped it into the ink again. Putting her hand over her stone she felt it glow and knew that she could make her see.

"Thanks," she murmured to Lily and Raven but they only shrugged.

"Hey, I just don't want you getting another Howler. My ears are still ringing from the last one, thank you." Raven stood and then patted Kismet on the head when the cat threw her a dirty look for dropping her unceremoniously onto the floor. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to sleep."

Lily giggled at Raven then stopped as a wide yawn caught her unawares as well. "Oh my… I think I better join her. Sorry to leave you but you have a letter to write. Oh! And we have that test for Charms tomorrow! G'night."

"G'night, Lily. Night, Raven!" she called after her but the only response she got was a grunt.

She laughed to herself but then Kismet jumped onto the table and plopped herself down over the parchment and the laughter stopped. "I have to write it, Kismet. You know that. Now, move."

Kismet gave her another dignified sniff and then stood and sat just a little ways her dark eyes watching Gwen very carefully. And Gwen sighed and she picked the quill from her lap and dipped it in the ink. "Well, here we go…"

* * *

Four days later, after a long night's sleep and a test which she knew she had passed in "flying colors", literally as she had mastered her charm with no problem, the letter she had sent Artemis away with around midnight was the last thing on her mind. She felt happy and free. Tomorrow was a whole new day with a whole new experience next. But then she walked into the room and what she saw was astounding. Perched on the top of the chair that Gwen and Sirius had sat in only a few short nights before was Artemis.

In his beak he didn't hold a Howler at least but a rather thick envelope and the burning in Gwen's stomach told her that it wasn't a short note telling her she could stay and would be seen at the beginning of summer.

Raven nearly bumped into as she walked into the common room behind her and looked to where she was staring and then backed away from the owl in an almost comical way. "Oh no… Not another one."

"It's not a Howler…" Gwen managed then she walked forward and pulled the letter from Artemis' beak. It wasn't **_so _**heavy she supposed. "It's from Mama."

She turned and faced the others who had walked into the room behind her. Then she searched their eyes until they finally landed on Sirius' reassuring silver ones. He nodded and then moved past the others to stand beside her.

"What did she write?" Lily asked as she anxiously pushed forward as well.

Almost as if a spell had been lifted all of her friends moved at once crowding around as if to shield her from whatever it was. "I…I… I don't know. I haven't opened it."

"Well, open it already." Raven said impatiently.

Gwen's fingers shook as she broke to family seal and split the envelope opened and then she unfurled the two thick pages of parchment. The earth smell of her mother's perfume filled the air and for just a moment Gwen could see it all so quickly in her mind. The old rug that lay on the living room/ dining/kitchen floor with its many different colors and interweaving and separating lines that made up a web. She saw the walls that were covered in the numerous pictures and papers. The shelves in the kitchen that were littered with herbs dried, bottled and fresh. The smell of home… The peace she had left behind to see this place, to find something new, as her great-grandma before her.

Then she was back in the Gryffindor common room. Around to see the varying expressions upon her friends' faces and her heart filled as she realized that if she could go back and change everything she wouldn't… she couldn't.

If she hadn't met all these people her life would have changed so much and she… she wouldn't have the courage to fight her mom for what she wanted most as she was doing now.

"What does it say, Gwen?" Raven asked, again impatiently and Gwen smiled and then looked down at the parchment where her mother's large bold letters screamed out at her then her face turned serious and she moved to the chair and sat down as she began to read the letter aloud…

_Gwendolyn,_

_ I have read your letter and I now know just how bad those **people** have influenced you. Gwendolyn you must come home. Things here have run amuck since you so callously ran away from your heritage and life here in Farrar. I cannot simply allow you to do as you please. And who is this wizard boy you mentioned in your letter? Sirius Black? Is he another conspirator to keep you away from your duty? I forbid you to have anything to do with him. I shall not have a daughter of mine tarrying with a wizard. We shall not have another mishap as the one I had to endure. So if you shall not come home of your own accord then I shall come and get you._

_ Your mother,_

_ Carina Rend Ernst Junta Farr_

The paper fell to the floor as she stared incomprehensively at the words. Then she came back to herself and looked around at them. "She's coming… here."

Gwen felt her skin grow cold and a thin spiral of dread seemed to span throughout her stomach. If her mother came then Dumbledore would find out she hadn't been allowed to actually come and she would be sent back home. No, not home… Hogwarts was home. She would be sent back to… to a place that she had ran away from in the first place. Her heart started to pound harder and tears filled her eyes. She dropped her head down and she shook her head.

"Gwen?" Lily's voice drifted through her misery like the light of a lighthouse cut through the cloudy nighttime for a wandering ship and she forced herself to look up. "We won't let her take you away."

She said it so confidently that Gwen could do nothing but agree. Then she glanced around at the rest of them and a smile came to her face. All of them were nodding in agreement and James and Raven had the looks of being lost in thought as if they were coming up with ideas to stall or stop her mother.

Finally her eyes rested on Sirius and she smiled and then nodded her head as well. "I won't let her either. I can't… this is my home…"

Sirius grinned and then he hugged her to him quickly before pulling back to look her in the face. "So I'm _that wizard boy_, am I?"

Gwen laughed and then she turned sober again. " 'Fraid so." But the serious expression didn't last as the giggles overtook her and she hadn't even noticed that Remus had taken the parchment and was now tossing them and the envelope into the fireplace.


	14. Decision: not

**Chapter 14**

"_Wingardium Leviosa_…" a small stone flew through the air and Gwen grabbed out of the air just before it hit her in face and then turning skipped it across the surface. Then she turned and faced the pile of rocks narrowing her eyes in concentration. Today had been a very bad day… "_Wingardium Leviosa…"_

First she had overslept because she couldn't sleep for worry the night before. In fact it had been well after midnight when she finally drifted off out of sheer exhaustion. Then she missed breakfast and nearly ran over a poor boy whose last name was Longbottom. She had lost five points for Gryffindor as she barely slid into her first class Herbology and got a lecture from Professor Sprout. Then her luck began to truly become worse.

In Charms she had flunked her "_Wingardium Leviosa_" exam. Her feather had nearly skewered Professor Flitwick when someone had walked into the classroom breaking her concentration. It turned out it was Remus coming back in from his duties as Prefect.

Then in transfiguration, she had frozen in the middle of casting her charm that would have transformed a rock into a rabbit when a sound of flapping wings came from the windows behind her. It had started to change then stopped. So in the end she had a hopping rock with a fuzzy tail and ears, all because a bird had landed outside of the window.

And finally, as if that had not been enough to go wrong, in her Potions class she had botched a perfectly easy remedial potion. The pot boiled over and the potion exploded caking half the classroom and her unwilling lab partner, Severus Snape, in sticky purple goop. Which had earned him an unwanted visit to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey had yet to release him.

So here she was sitting by the great lake enjoying the sunshine and skipping rocks along the surface trying to calm her anger at herself. Raven and Lily had long since joined her and were seated in the soft grass beside her. Raven was fiddling with the grass her gaze on the far shore of the lake as if deep in thought. And Lily had begun to nimbly weave a long and complex daisy chain.

Finally Raven broke the silence as she fidgeted from her place on the bank. "It's not really so bad, Gwen. I mean, at least with that potion you got Severus."

"Raven!" Lily admonished pausing long enough to give her a stern look.

"Well, you've got to admit it was funny watching Severus Snape's face break out into giant purple pimples. Wasn't it? I think he was going to faint from embarrassment. And I heard Madam Pomfrey saying she couldn't vanish them. They had to go away naturally…"

Lily giggled with her and then she tried to be serious. "Raven… that's not right. Now he's going to have pimples all over his face. Big purple ones. Not that he didn't already have some but…" she started giggling again.

"Lily! Raven!" Gwen shouted trying to be reprimanding but then she starting giggling as well. "Okay, so maybe, it was funny watching Snivellus be carted off to the hospital wing holding his purple-pimpled face…"

She drifted off as she grabbed the rock from the air and then after a quick glance at Lily and Raven found her friends fighting laughter as well. The three of them burst into laughter again and then Gwen turned back to the lake. "But anyway, if I keep this up, Professor Dumbledore is sure to expel me."

She tossed the rock across the lake and then turned and muttered, "_Wingardium Leviosa_!" Another stone flew across the air towards Gwen but this time Raven snitched it from the air before Gwen could grab it.

Raven tossed it from hand to hand almost thoughtfully as she walked towards the lake. "I think that's a bit extreme, Gwen. You tried really hard on everything and you've learned as much as I learned in three months in a just a few weeks. That's a major accomplishment. I'm sure that Professor Flitwick will let you retest and you can make up the potions project easy."

She turned and tossed the rock but instead of skipping it landed with a great _Plop!_ and sunk into the water. She frowned and then turned back to Gwen who was levitating another rock towards herself. A frown marred her face and Raven sighed. She reached for the rock but this time Gwen grabbed it up herself, shaking her head.

Shrugging, Raven went to the pile and picked up her own rock again tossing it from hand to hand before trying to skip it across the lake. _Plop! _As before it sunk into the dark waters without making a single skip. Raven frowned then sighed and looked back to her friend. "You'll do fine. There are a lot of screw ups here at Hogwarts. I mean look at James and Sirius. They've made it this far haven't they? And you know how those guys can be."

"How what guys can be?" Sirius asked as he walked in closely followed by Remus, James and Peter.

"Well, speak of the devils." Raven said and she smiled as she walked over to Remus and gave him and hug and kiss on the cheek hello. Sirius walked to Gwen's side and she smiled up at him as he hugged her tightly.

Then both couples realized that Lily and James hadn't said anything. He stood beside her as she looked up at him. James looked… well nervous. He cleared his throat and grinned then as he ran a hand through his already messy brown hair. "Hey Evans…"

"Potter." She said and then she stood slowly.

For a moment they stood face-to-face and just looked at each other until they noticed that they're friends were staring at them as well. Then Lily quickly backed away from James and he grinned at his friends. Raven and Gwen shared a quick look and then Remus quickly stepped in to cover the awkward moment.

"So what guys were you talking about?"

"You guys. Gwen's stressing about the mistakes she made in class." Raven said then a mischievous glint came into her eyes and Gwen waited to hear what she was thinking. "She's thinking of not going to go to Hogsmeade this weekend."

Gwen opened her mouth to argue but Sirius cut her off. "Why aren't you going? You loved Hogsmeade."

She looked up at Raven with a "see what you've done now?" look but Raven just grinned and walked over to Remus. "Well yes, but what if Mama shows up? She's could appear right in the middle of Hogsmeade and then she'll make a big scene. She's very good at those."

"Give your mother some credit. What would telling everyone what and who you are help?"

She turned back to the pile of rocks and she restlessly lifted a rock with the charm again. She made it raise it up and then went back to the floor."It'd get me kicked out of school. You know how the ministry can be about half-breeds and misfits. I mean, take Remus for example. He's a wizard but what would happen if you told someone who he was. They always immediately assumed the worst. Because the worst is always easier to believe than the good."

"But Gwen, you're not even close to what Remus is. No offense meant, Remus. You're a fairy not a werewolf."

"What does it matter? There are enough stories about fairies stealing away children and casting spells and making you dance forever to make me seem like a bad person. The parents will immediately think the worst and then Dumbledore won't have a choice. He'll have to send me away simply because of them."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue again.

"You know he will. He doesn't have a choice. And… and it looks like neither do I. Go to Hogsmeade. Have fun and enjoy yourselves. Its time I stopped running and faced the inevitable. She's coming."

Sirius seemed to want to argue it. His face was scrunched in concern and Gwen felt as if she could make the look disappear. She opened her mouth to say something and then footsteps crunched along the gravel path and Gwen swung to face the person.

As she did her wand jerked in her hand and the stone she had been levitating sprung off bouncing off the path. It skidded across the gravel path and then slid right under the foot of the person who was coming up the path. And he/she fell onto her back.

"Ow…" Gwen heard and she recognized Danae Allen. "Oh that was real smooth, Allen."

"Are you alright?" Gwen said as she rushed over to help her up.

"Huh?" Danae looked up her then stood up by herself. "Oh, yeah… I'm fine. Do it all the time. I have to be more careful. Do I know you? You look really familiar…"

"Umm… no, we haven't met… exactly. I'm Gwen Farr."

"Farr…? That sounds like that witch who lives outside of my village in that… cabin like thing…um…Mrs. Carina Farr?"

"That's my mother."

"Oh… she's…" Danae seemed to stop as if searching for a bit of nice to say about her mother. "Something else."

"Yeah, that she is. Um, I've got to go. Bye Danae."

"Yeah, bye. Hey, wait a minute, I didn't tell you my name."

"Bye." Gwen turned and she started running down the hill.

Behind her she heard her friends calling but she didn't stop until Sirius grabbed her shoulder forcing her to stop. "Gwen…"

"Look I'm not going. Go with out me. Have fun." She turned and forced a smile.

"Gwen, are you…?"

"I'm fine. Really. I just… need to think…" she smiled again and then she turned to walk away. Again Sirius reached out to stop her but Raven grabbed his shoulder and shook her head.

"Let her go. She needs some space. We'll give it to her… for now…"

"But…"

"Relax, Sirius. I got a plan." James said in his usual cocky and headstrong.

"When don't you have a plan, Potter?" Lily said, seething, turning her fury full force on James.

"Well, do you see anyone else coming up with anything?"

"Well, maybe if you gave others a chance…"

"Fine, I won't share my idea."

"James! Lily! Would you two can it for just a little while? Gwen needs our help." Raven said and the two of them shut their mouths but for a little while neither would look at one another. "Now what's this plan?"

"I'm not saying anything until she apologizes." James said stubbornly.

Lily sighed then and she turned to look at him then at Raven who gave her a look, which made her sigh again. "Oh… fine. I'm… sorry…"

"For?"

"For… telling the truth." She said with a small smiled working at her lips.

He made a hand movement and Sirius made an impatient sound. "Look you two, have your lovers' quarrel another time. I'm having enough trouble with my own love life, thanks. Spit it out James. What's this plan?"

Lily looked incensed but James looked at his friend before he turned and grinned. "Okay, what we're going to do is…"


	15. Snowball's chance

**Chapter 15**

Gwen stared out the window into the courtyard below and sighed. Snow had covered the ground overnight and everything seemed so peaceful. It really was a shame she was going to have to leave all of this soon. She almost wished she had let the others talk her into going to Hogsmeade one last time.

It would look so pretty all covered in snow… more magical in its freshly painted scenery. _Why wasn't she going?_ She was going to be leaving anyway? Why shouldn't she have fun? Why not?

_And if you're mother comes? _Her voice of reason argued.

Her eyes went to the book that Lily had let her borrow. _Pride and Prejudice _graced the cover. It was a good book. She'd read it many times before, as she sat alone in the hut wondering where her mother had gone. _So what if she does? Let her come? Why should I punish myself more by remaining here when what **I** want is to go? I'm letting her win… _

She stood and started walking towards the common room. She had to hurry. If she didn't then she might not be able to catch…

_**Plop!**_

She turned and watched as a fat snowball slid down the window. _What the…?_

_**Plop!**_

Another hit the window and she slowly walked to look out. She couldn't see anything through the snow so she slowly pushed the window open and looked around. But she didn't see anything.

"Look out!" a voice yelled and she saw the snowball coming and moved just before it smacked her right in the face. _**Plop!**_ It hit the now open window and slid to the ground. She looked out the window and this time she saw Sirius standing sheepishly on the ground.

"Sirius? What was that?"

"Uh… sorry, didn't see you… Gwen, will you come down? You know… talk to me before I head into Hogsmeade."

Gwen opened her mouth to tell him she was coming but changed her mind. She'd let him sweat it out as little. Besides he obviously was going to try and talk her into going. Maybe she'd let him so he'd think he was really persuasive. That would be fun… "Why?"

"Because… Look, I said some pretty stupid things and I…er… I wanted to apologize. Please come down?" he grinned in his usual smirk-like way but she could tell he really wanted her to come.

"Well…"

"Please, Gwen?"

"I'll be down in a minute. I have to grab a jacket. Meet me in the entrance hall."

"Okay!"

Gwen closed the window and ran down the hall to the girl's dormitory. She opened the door and ran in and to her bed. She opened her trunk to grab her mitts and hat but then she saw that they were already laid out on her bed. Along with a scarf and hat she didn't recognize…

"Lily and Raven… why you two little schemers… I just bet this was James idea…" she smiled and slipped them and her jacket on over her. Then she headed down to the entrance hall… _She was going have a great day… no matter what._

Sirius waited nervously in the entrance hall. What if this didn't work? Gwen was a fairy after all. If she didn't want to go, what to stop her from cursing them? Or worse yet, just refusing to every speak to them again.

He looked towards the doorway, outside of which he knew James and the others waited to ambush them the moment they walked out the door. He hoped this worked…

Footsteps echoed and he looked up to the top of the stairs. Gwen stood in her favorite pair of old boots. She wore blue jeans and a snug old grey winter jacket that was old and worn. On her head a bright blue cap sat gaily and a matching scarf adorned her neck, gifts from Lily, of course. The gloves of course were hers. They were old, black and holey. And not in anyway that has to do with church.

Her smile was wide and her eyes gleamed with laughter. It was almost as if… but no, of course, she couldn't know. He forced his lips into a grin and walked to the bottom of the stairs and she walked down to him. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Uh… well, I… I just wanted you to experience the snow first hand. We're leaving in a few minutes but… we could go outside."

"Uh… sure, I guess."

They headed towards the doorway and Sirius took her hand. Her hand was so small. He'd never really noticed it before. But everything about Gwen had seemed so frail, almost as if one bad look and she would fall apart under your gaze. But now he looked up at her face and she smiled. Her smile was so serene. As if she knew things that no one else knew and that it would all be okay. Now he came to know that despite all her fragility when she had come to Hogwarts she had grown up. And under all that sweetness was a will of steel. _If only she could see it…_

"What?"

"Hmm?" Sirius came back to reality and realized Gwen was frowning at him and she had stopped walking to look at him.

"You were looking at me weird. What is it? Is something on my face?" she took her hand from his to subconsciously feel for something.

At this Sirius smiled, because even with all the self-confidence she had gained there was still a little bit of the self-conscious Gwendolyn Farr under it all. "No, you look great. I was just thinking…"

He took her hand again and they walked across the foyer and walked outside. As the blast of cold air hit their faces Sirius glanced quickly at Gwen and found her smiling her eyes shining with a reverent awe. "Wow… it's so beautiful…"

Sirius grinned and then pulled her farther out so that a light dusting of snowflakes smattered among her brown hair. Her hazel eyes sparkled and she grinned at Sirius. He smiled back at her. Then she heard Filch yelling for the last of the students and she frowned and looked back into the building.

"I should probably get going inside. You have to go…"

"Gwen… come with me. Please. See Hogsmeade. It's beautiful in the snowfall. Please, come see it."

"Sirius, I shouldn't… I really shouldn't…" she edge towards the door and then Sirius frowned.

"To bloody hell with what you _shouldn't _do." He found himself yelling. "What do you _want?_"

Her eyes went wide and then she seemed to be frozen. Time ticked by and he just shook his head and then made the signal for James. "Took to long. Now you don't get a choice."

Gwen frowned at him and then suddenly went ramrod straight. James held her from behind. His cloaked hand over her mouth and he whispered something to her. "You are now my hostage, do as I say and no one will be hurt."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Okay, come on let's get going." He pulled her along and they headed for the school exit. As they walked along the path, Remus, Lily and Raven joined. They all refused to look at Gwen and though she walked amiably along her eyes were narrowed and she refused to look at Sirius.

They had just made it past Filch and the professor standing guard when suddenly a voice hailed them and they turned to see Dumbledore headed towards them. Gwen felt James shrink back as hiding behind her. But why would he? Dumbledore couldn't see him… could he?

"Ah… Miss Farr, I see that you've made many friends. Is everything alright?"

Gwen looked up at him with wide eyes and then she found herself nodding. After all they had done so much for her. She couldn't possibly turn them in. No matter how stupid and child-like their antics…

"Hmm… Funny, where's Mr. Potter. He's always hanging around you, Mr. Black. And yet today… he seems surprisingly missing. Why is that?" Dumbledore's eyes glimmered and for a moment they moved to just beyond Gwen's head as if they could see James crouched behind her.

"James went ahead of us. We were waiting for Gwen and well… you know James. He never was one to wait around for anyone. Not even his own friends. We told him we'd meet him at Honeydukes. "

"Hmm… yes, well, shouldn't keep him waiting. Good to see you again, Miss Farr. Don't think ill of your friends. They may at times seem a little brash but they always mean the best. At least, they _think_ they mean the best."

Gwen frowned. It was almost as if he knew what was happening. She felt James' hand slip away from her mouth and smiled at the professor. "Uh… Thank you, professor. I'll… keep that in mind. But we should be going. James is waiting for us."

She smiled again and managed to turn even as the Dumbledore smiled his blue eyes dancing. "Yes, I see…"

_If only you knew half of it,_ Gwen thought and she continued along her thoughts growing stormy. When they reached Hogsmeade she was going to… well, Sirius and the others wouldn't like it one bit.

James lay laughing on the floor rolling back in forth in the snow. The friends were sitting on the side of the road just outside of Hogsmeade. Gwen was still standing glowering down at James while the others were either sitting on the two boulders or standing like her. "Can you believe we pulled that off? I thought Dumbledore had us for sure…"

"Yes, it was hilarious. Right up there with the five of you abducting me against my will." Gwen said sourly crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at all of them. "What were you thinking?"

"Aw, come on, Gwen, did you really want to just sit in the common room _waiting _for your mom to come for you?" James said rolling on his belly to look up at her. "We were doing you a favor."

"A favor! A favor? Yes, it was most definitely a favor when you dragged me past Dumbledore and put me on the spot. I should have turned you all in right then."

"So why didn't you?" Sirius asked and she turned to face you. "You could have. So why didn't you?"

"Because… because Dumbledore wouldn't have believed me."

"Why?" asked Lily asked this time. "We are at a school of magic. Why shouldn't he believe you that someone was taking you against your will using an invisibility cloak?"

"She's right," said Raven "and I for one think you didn't turn us in because you _wanted _to come. You just didn't know how to say so."

"How to say so? I don't have to say anything. If I'd wanted to come all I had to do was walk out that door and through the gates. I wouldn't have needed to wait for you guys to abduct me. I have legs of my own. Thank you very much."

"Which you did." Sirius pointed out and she turned to look at him. His silver eyes glistened so she was suddenly suspicious. "You walked out the door and through the gates."

"Yes, but not of my own accord." She said stubbornly though she knew she was losing the battle. "_You_ made me come. And then put me through that ordeal with Dumbledore…"

"Hey, that wasn't our fault!" Remus said speaking for the first time. "We didn't know that Dumbledore would come to talk to us."

"Still the fact of the matter is…"

"The fact of the matter is we're wasting time." Raven said impatiently and she jumped from the boulder to her feet. "Gwen, all you're doing is waiting for your mother, right? Right?"

When Gwen nodded she continued. "Alright then, so while you're waiting. Have a little fun. Do some stupid things. Make some memories. After all soon you _might _have to say goodbye to this so why not take a tiny piece of it with you? Huh? Whaddya say?"

Gwen crossed her arms again and looked down the road to Hogsmeade. As usual Raven was right… "Well… for the record I'm still mad at all of you. Why did you do something so stupid?"

"Why didn't you tattle on us?" Raven returned.

"Because we're friends."

"Exactly… and besides that. Do you really think we could make you do something you really didn't want to? So are we even?"

Gwen flopped down into the snow and slowly played with it before she glanced around at her friends. Each of them watched her and she felt the glow in her heart spread. Over the last two months they had been through so much with her. They were her family… How could she stay mad at them…?

The snow felt cold through her gloves and a sudden idea came to her. With one fast movement she deftly packed a snowball and threw it at Raven, who was hit smack dab in the forehead. "Ah! Cold!" Raven managed to gasp out and stared at Gwen who stood and smiled challengingly.

"No… now we are." Gwen said and laughed as Raven padded up a snowball of her own. Raven threw it but Gwen managed to dodge it though it hit James smack in the face. But instead of getting mad James grinned. "Oh, its on now."

Snowballs flew and before they new it they had an all-out snowball fight going on. No one remained untouched until finally the five of them called a truce and they headed into Hogsmeade for a nice warming up at the Leaky Cauldron and some butter beers.

As they walked to the tavern Sirius came up behind Gwen and took her hand. "So how do you feel now?"

"I'm still a little mad at you. It was a stupid idea."

"Yeah, I know but I was desperate to get you here. I knew you would love it and besides don't ends justify means?"

"Well… in this case they do. But don't go getting cocky. Just because I went along with you this one time doesn't mean I won't take my revenge later. Fairies are known for that and just because I'm only half doesn't mean anything." She said wagging her finger at them.

"Yes ma'am." he said saluting her. "I guess I'm lucky. It could be worse. If you were full fairy you might never forgive me. I read somewhere that since fairies are so small they can only feel one emotion at a time so they tend to be single-minded."

"Single-minded. Yeah, I know someone like that." She smiled and he raised one of his eyebrows in curiosity.

"Who?"

"Not a fairy. He's a wizard. Black hair, silver eyes, charming and handsome as the devil himself. A real sweet talker until he sticks his foot in his mouth. Then he's just adorable."

"Oh really, and this wizard... Exactly what does he have on his mind?" he said taking a step closer to her.

"I dunno. Why don't you ask yourself?"

"Charming and handsome as the devil himself am I? Hmm… I think I know what I have on my mind." He stepped closer and pulled her into a hug. "Come here you little vixen."

Gwen laughed and hugged him back. Then the hug ended and the two of them found themselves staring into one another's eyes. The connection might have lasted one second but for all they knew it lasted an eternity until Raven's voice interrupted.

"Hey are you too, coming? Or are you just going to sit there staring at each other?"

Gwen looked at the floor and Sirius tossed Raven a glare, which she parried with a saucy grin before heading into the store. Sirius shook his head and then looked back down at Gwen. "Come on, we better get going before she sends James and the rest after us."

"Yeah."

"Hey, are you okay?"

_No… because I know without a doubt that when I leave you my heart will be ripped from my chest and I will never again be the same. _"Oh yeah, fine. Come on. I want some butter beer."

"Okay, but one more thing." He leaned down and plopped a kiss on her lips. Gwen stared up at him in surprise and then smiled and they headed inside.

_Well, she'd take some advice from Raven. She'd build up her memories for when it was time to leave… Not that she'd leave if she could stop it… If she could help it she'd never leave… not in a million years… maybe not even after that…_


	16. Wings and things

Chapter 16

Laughter echoed across the halls of Gryffindor as the six of them walked arm in arm up to the common room. Icy coldness of the outdoors graced all of their cheeks and Gwen knew her eyes sparkled from laughter. All day the six of them had stayed together. Even Lily and James' animosity had long been forgotten for the sake of Gwen.

Gwen felt so happy, so full of joy. She glanced at Sirius with a smile as James went on with his jokes and the six of them laughed. She couldn't remember the last time she had had so much fun. "Okay, okay. I got another one. What's big as a house and worth twice as much to its owner?"

"Your head." Lily said with a moments pause but without as much bitterness as usual. "Honestly Potter, couldn't you be a little more creative?"

"Ha ha, very funny Evans… but that's not the answer. The answer is Gwen's heart." He turned and grinned at her and Gwen laughed just he knew she would.

"James, would you stop it."

"Oh, come on Gwen. Forget about Sirius. Run away with me. Just us two… Living as we please, free with no one telling us when or where we go…"

Gwen laughed but Sirius growled. "Back off, Potter. Or I might have to break one of those antlers the next time we go around."

"Antlers? James doesn't have antlers…"

Everyone stopped as she said that and looked at her and then Raven's expression cleared. "Oh, that's right. You never told her. Did you Sirius?"

"Told me what?"

"Well… You see the truth is…"

"_Meow…"_

The six heads came up and looked down the hall at a small little kitten. Its fur was fluffy and a sort of a brown, orange, black color that looked mottled and ugly. Its eyes were an eerie red-yellow color. For a moment Gwen had thought it was Kismet but then she had seen the eyes. She'd never seen this cat before. The six of them remained frozen for a second and then Gwen walked forward holding out her hand.

"Come here, kitty… Good kitty…"

The cat meowed again and slowly walked towards her. Kneeling down Gwen held out her hand and slowly let her hand come to rest on the cat's soft fur. She petted her for a second and an uneasy feeling overcame her. She didn't know what it was but she closed her eyes for a second and let the images from the cat come to her. She saw the Argus Filch's face and then she heard him whisper some words.

"_You'll help me catch those meddlesome kids, now won't you Mrs. Norris…?"_

She opened her eyes and then turned to see her friends staring at her."Let's get out of h-" Footsteps echoed along the halls and Gwen knew it was Filch. Leaping to her feet she raced back to the others. "It's Filch. We've got to get out of here. Mrs. Norris there is his new watch cat. Is there another way around?"

"Uh…" James seemed to be thinking.

The footsteps echoed closer and...

"Never mind. Hide." The six of them turned and separated. Raven and Remus hid behind a statue and James and Lily slipped behind the tapestry that hung on the wall. Which left Sirius and Gwen with the other statue of a twisted old Hag. It was the way they had come in and the only place left. Gwen leaned back and listened but unfortunately the little kitten had taken a liking to her.

It walked towards them its meows getting more and more insistent. Then it came about a foot from them when she started hissing. Gwen looked around the corner and then leaned back and looked at Sirius. "Does this have something to do your secret?"

"Uh… yeah, you see, let's just say cats don't like me much."

"You're going to explain this later. And then you owe me, major time." She whispered and turned around. "_Distractus felina…"_

A spark flew from her fingertips and she sighed. "Knickers."

"What?"

She frowned as she turned around. "I forgot… I haven't honed my energy enough… I need… a siphon…" her face cleared and she pulled her wand out. "Let's hope this works…"

She turned and faced the kitten once more. Its eyes had turned almost completely red and its fur was puffed out in the basic form of an agitated cat. Her heart was pounding and the footsteps were getting closer. _She couldn't do this… she couldn't…_

Sirius' hand rested on her back and she took a deep breath uttering the charm her mother had taught her work on all things as long as she knew what she faced. It was a fairy's greatest weapon. "_Distractus felina…"_

Sparks flew from her wand and then in a flash they transformed and changed into a small mouse toy. The winding toy shot from the wand and wheeled around on the floor. Distracted the small kitten took after it completely ignoring everyone and everything. It meows started again but this time they had changed. Then the footsteps became distinct and Sirius pulled her around and held her to him.

Gwen couldn't move. She didn't know if it was the sound of the footstepsor the fact that Sirius held her so close. Not that he hadn't held her close before, the hug at Hogsmeade attested to that but this time… it was different. They way he held her now was as if… As if just by holding her he could protect her. He could stop it all from happening. Warmth bloomed in her heart and she smiled. Suddenly she could move and she wrapped her arms around him stiffening as she heard Filch's familiar voice.

"Where are they, Mrs. Norris? Where are them meddling kids?" then his steps stopped and Gwen could almost see the confused light in his eyes. Because Mrs. Norris was laying on the floor contentedly playing with a small wind up cat's toy. For a long time the halls were silent as if he was looking around. The lamplight lit the corner behind the statue where Gwen and Sirius were hiding. "Come on, Mrs. Norris… they couldn't have gotten far."

He turned and marched down the hall his torchlight slowly fading. For a moment no one moved until the footsteps had receded down the hall. Then as if someone had sent a jolt of electricity of through them they ran down the hall and straight to the common room. When they awoke the fat lady and got inside they all stared at one another no one saying anything. Then James started laughing and like wildfire it spread and soon they were all laughing.

Sirius swept Gwen up into his arms and spun her around before setting her back on her feet. "You were wonderful!"

"I…I was, wasn't I?" she smiled. Glad she had gone with them in the end.

"What spell did you use to distract that cat? I've never heard it before. What was it? _Di-Destruct- Fulani…_uh… something like that…_" _Raven said waving her hand in the same way that Gwen just had.

"Distractus Felina_…"_ Gwen said and a spark flared from her wand from a second. "Oops, I forgot. Uh…" she put her wand back in her robes and smiled at them. "It's one of the most basic Fae magic there is. It's a distracting spell. After all why do you think that so few muggles have ever seen a fairy? Or if they have they blame it on something else?"

"So that's how it works. I always wondered about that… Do you know anymore Fae spells."

"A few… not many really." Gwen moved to the couch and sat cross-legged pulling a pillow in front of her before she lay back. The others moved and sat down. Lily and James on one couch, this time a little closer than they had been the first time. Remus and Raven on the other and Sirius sat beside her. "Fae magic has very few things. Mostly it's the same magic that you learn. I learn how to levitate, how to make potions, destroy harmful plants… All like you do. But also, I learned about our history and a few other spells, like the distractus."

She frowned. "I also learned another one, two actually. But I'm not very good at them."

"What are they?"

"Well, one is size-changing spell."

"So… You could make like… Ravenzilla?" Raven said her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Uh… no, sorry. It's more for smaller size stuff. Remember how I told you my mother could change sizes and make her wings appear and disappear? Well… I can too."

"Wait a second, are you trying to tell me you have wings too?" James said looking skeptically at her back.

"Yes…"

Sirius put his hand on her back and felt around from something. "But there's nothing there."

"Of course, not she just said she could make them disappear." Lily said matter-of-factly and then she looked confused. "But wait, wouldn't they still be there just not seen."

"No… when I said I make them disappear I meant completely disappear. They… they shatter, I guess…into fairy dust. And when I need them again. Well… maybe I should show you…" she stood and then walked to the place right in front of the fire place. Sitting cross legged again and faced. "Now… I'm not very good and I haven't done this in a while so it might take a bit. Plus I've only done it three times. Twice as practice and once before I came here."

She closed her eyes and placed her hands in her lap folded almost as if in prayer. Then she opened one of her eyes and stared at her friends. They were all leaning forward as if to see her better and she could almost feel the nervousness rushing from them. "Would you try not to be too stressed? I need all the peace I can gather and with so much nervous energy in the room, it won't work…"

They leaned back and she felt the energy of nervousness fade and become calm. She smiled then and took a deep breath mutter some fae words to herself. And then she felt it happening. At first it was merely a tingling sensation along her shoulder blades. Then it was as if something was being pulled from her back. Her breathing became labored, a ripping sound filled the air and she winced in pain. Then they opened and the pain was gone. She opened her wings and stood.

As she opened her eyes she almost smiled at the looks on her friends faces. The wings were about four feet long, almost as tall as she was and gossamer white, like a butterfly's, diamonds of purples of all shades graced them and as she turned around for them to get a better look she noticed the tears her wings had made.

"Oops… I forgot about that." She said and then turned to smile at them. "It's easier to put them away plus better on the clothes I think. Well, I don't think I'll be wearing this sweater ever again."

"They're… They're beautiful, Gwen. Why do you hide them?"

Gwen looked down at her hands and her eyes saw the fairy stone that still hung around her neck. "Because… It is my duty… And more than anything, I just want to fit in. Walking around Hogwarts with four foot wings would definitely make me stand out." She looked up at him and smiled. "Just a little."

"No one should have to hide who they are."

"And in a perfect world, no one would have to. But you of all people, Sirius, should know. This world is far from perfect…" she closed her eyes and the wings disappeared in a flash of purple and white streaks.

Then she stepped forward just barely catching herself before she toppled over. "Gwen!"

Her friends stepped forward and she waved them away. It's all right. I… I'm going to bed. There's been a lot of adventure today and I'm just… Just tired."

She moved towards the door and tripped landing on her knees. Sirius ran to her side and though she tried to stop him the moment he touched her to pull her up a vision filled her mind. _Sirius in a cell… traitor to his friends… James… dead… Lily… dead… Peter… dead… Remus… alone…_

She snapped back and stood on her own to feet. "I'm fine. Really."

She nearly ran up the steps and changed into her pajamas jumping into the bed and snuggling down. But she didn't sleep. She couldn't sleep. Could Sirius really betray his best friend?

A chill ran down her back and she snuggled deeper into the covers. She heard the dormitory door open and closed her eyes. She didn't want to talk to Lily and Raven. Too much had happened already and she needed some time to think.

"Gwen?" she heard Raven's voice through the thick of the night but she didn't open her eyes. Eventually Raven gave up and she heard her soft tread walk across the floor and to her bed. As the noises in the night slowly became the deep easy breathing of the other girls Gwen sat up and took out her fairy stone.

"Show me Sirius." She blew and the sparks shimmered in the darkness showing her a small window.

He was standing in the common room pacing back and forth. Beside him James was seated on one of the couches and Remus was sitting across from him a book in his hand.

The door to the boys' dormitory door opened and she watched as Peter scurried into the room. Since the first day she hadn't seen much of him. Now and again he'd be tagging along behind James but otherwise the only time she'd had to really look at him had been the first day they had met.

He slid onto the floor sitting just below James as if he was a small dog waiting for a scrap of something. Gwen shook her head. Something about him she still didn't like but he was Sirius' friend. She should still give him a chance. She looked at the boys. All of them so different and yet…

Her eyes went to Sirius… could he betray James? Kill his friends for his own good… the sparks slowly faded and Gwen thought to the laughter in his eyes. The obvious love and friendship between him and his friends…

_No… he wouldn't…_

The image fixed on Peter and his flitting eyes…and then faded.

_But could Peter...?_


	17. Enemies of the Moon

Chapter 17

Sirius was pacing again. As usual Lily was seated in her seat the pride and prejudice book open as the early morning sun came shining into the room. "Are you sure she seemed okay when you woke up? She didn't look worn out?"

"She was fine. It's early yet, Sirius. Would you calm down? You're going to give yourself an ulcer and then Gwen will be the one taking you to the hospital wing."

"Taking who to the hospital wing?" Remus asked as he walked into the room.

"Sirius. He's about to have a heart attack." Lily said slowly marking her spot in her book. "What no Potter this morning? Hmm… might actually be…"

"Aha! I knew you would miss me!" James said as he bounded down the steps. "Well, fear not, fair lady. For I am here."

"Spoke to soon." Lily muttered but she smiled instead of frowning. "I'll see you later guys."

She stood and walked up to the girls' dormitory. Sirius sighed and flopped onto one of the seats wondering when Gwen would get up. As he did he noticed Peter scurrying into the room. Funny but come to think of it he hadn't seen Wormtail around in a while.

"Oy, Peter, where you been?"

"Uh… Sirius… oh, around, you know…" Peter said his eyes flicking to him and then away as they always did. "You've been busy with all of… the stuff since Gwendolyn has come… so I was… just study… Big test coming up… you know?"

"Uh, yeah." he muttered as the girl's common room door had opened and Raven, Lily and Gwen exited the three of them smiling from ear to ear. "Hey."

Gwen smiled and walked over to him. "Good morning."

"It is now. I was worried about you. I didn't want you having any more energy crises like the first week. That one scared the heebie-jeebies out of me."

"Actually, I feel better than ever. It might be because I'm getting stronger. If this keeps up I won't feel tired every time I have a vision." She smiled and Sirius found himself grinning as well. How could he help it? She looked so proud of herself.

"Good, now come on, we've got Potions with the Slytherins again and I don't want you to end up with a seat next to Snivellus again. He might want his revenge for those purple pimples. I heard that he still has scars."

Gwen laughed. "It wasn't really intentional, you know."

"Ah, at least not consciously." Sirius winked and then he took her hand as they walked down the stairs to the great hall for breakfast.

* * *

Potions went well enough, though Snape giving her the evil eye because as it had turned out he did have scars. Purple scars. When class let out Gwen sighed and nearly ran out the door ahead of the rest of them but she wasn't fast enough. 

"Running away, are we, Gwendolyn?" Snape said snidely and Gwen stopped her back going ramrod straight as she turned to face him.

But this time she saw that he wasn't alone. Behind him stood three other Slytherins, six years at the very least. Two were huge, goliaths, but neither looked very smart. _Trolls. _In front of them stood a gaunt tall boy. Hi s hair was long almost to his waist and his eyes were blue, an evil blue.

"These are my acquaintances. Lucas Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle."

"Charmed, I'm sure." Lucas, the gaunt boy said holding out his hand for hers.

Gwen looked down at it with great distaste and then up at Malfoy. Her eyes traveled to Crabbe and Goyle then returned to Snape's. His eyes glimmered. Feeling a little ruffled Gwen looked down at Lucius' hand.

"Sorry, I can't shake your hand, too many books. Besides, you really wouldn't want to shake hands with me anyway. If you listen to Snape, I'm worse than a Mudblood. Surely you wouldn't want to taint yourself."

She turned away from them and started to walk away when Malfoy said something. "My, my… You're right, Severus. She is a feisty one. Too bad about her mother being a fairy, she might have…"

"What did you say about my mother?" she turned to face him and narrowed her eyes.

"I said, that it's too bad, she was nothing more than a _mere_ fairy…" Malfoy's eyes gleamed as if he was happy to have found the right button to get her angry.

"A _mere_ fairy?"

Malfoy nodded and Gwen felt the tension build in her. A chill ran down her back and she wanted very badly to turn Malfoy into the worm he was. Energy filled her and she slowly set her books down and faced Malfoy and the others. Taking a step forward she looked him right in the eye.

Crabbe and Goyle seemed to take this as a threat and seemed to be ready to fight her. Which was rather funny considering she barely came to either of their chest height. She wasn't mush of a threat, strength wise, but you never messed with a mad fairy…

"I'll show you _mere_…" she raised her hands as her mother had shown her.

"Gwen!" Sirius, Remus, James, Lily and Raven rushed up to her side and she looked at them distractedly.

"Gwen, don't using magic in the hallways is strictly forbidden in Hogwarts. You'll get kicked out. That's just what they want!" Lily said turned her venomous glance to Severus and the others.

"He was talking about my mother…"

Sirius walked up to her and put his hands over hers. "Any other time I would be all for kicking their butts, fairy-style or no… But you can't get kicked out… Not yet… Not ever…"

He whispered it so that no one else could hear and then he let go of her hands and backed away from her. Gwen felt the energy still flowing through her and her heart was still pounding. She wanted so badly to just let it all flow out… But instead she just let her hands slowly relax and sighed.

"Sirius is right… You're not worth it." She turned and walked away even as she saw the evil glint in his eyes. She refused to look back but when she heard the rustling of fabric she waited mentally for the chance. _"Serpensortia!" _he yelled and Gwen whirled around.

With a quickly muttered freeze spell she stopped the snake's decent the grabbed it out of the air. Bending it like a clown's balloon she pulled the snake into a knot. "_Faekentia_." She said and then blew on the snake. Suddenly the snake vanished its body turning into a silvery dust that scattered to the wind glinting for only an instant before vanishing as a swirl around Gwen.

Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Snape stared at her in shock and she could feel the same kind of awe behind her. She smiled slightly. The kind of smile she had seen on Sirius' face, with a knowing smirk that said, _"I'm better than you and I know it."_

"Now that we have that out of our system… Which one of us is _mere?" _she turned and slowly walked away, pausing only long enough to gather her books. She knew her friends followed her but the only thing she could think of was getting to the common room.

Once inside she slumped into a chair and dropped her books. "Oh dear… that wasn't the smartest thing to do was it?"

"Smart? No!" Raven asked then a grin came over her face. "Cool? Yeah! Where did you learn to do that?"

"I don't know… Must have been all the reading about my ancestors I did. Because I'm pretty sure my great-great-grandma did a spell like that once… But I probably shouldn't have done that huh?"

"Well, whether or not you should have that was so neat. You've got to teach me." Said James a smile sliding onto his face.

"When I remember what I did, you'll be the first one to know. Promise. But we should probably get going. We've Herbology next right?"

"Yeah," Remus said and smiled at her.

"Alright let's go."

As they started out the door, Sirius held her back a moment and kissed her on the forehead. "What was that for?"

"For being the bravest person I've ever met."

"I was hardly brave. More like stupid. Malfoy isn't someone I should have messed with. I should have walked away the first time."

"No… _he_ should have walked away from _you_first." Sirius said and smiled. "Come on, Professor Sprout will kill us if we're late."

* * *

Once again Gwen found it hard to sleep. Her energy level seemed to have spiked since the encounter with Malfoy. Even Madam Pomfrey and remarked upon it. She felt restless so after a few more minutes of tossing and turning she finally gave up around midnight and leaped from her bed. She quietly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt pulling on her jacket until she realized it was the one that she had ruined the night of her wing show-and-tell. 

Pausing only a moment she dug down into the trunk until she finally found what she was looking for. It was an old worn sweater that her mother had knitted for her a little before she had left. It was green and her favorite but she had refused to wear it because she felt like she was suddenly being disloyal to her mother. For a minute she smiled at how naive she had been. Had it really only been a few months since she had left home?

Already the fall weather she had arrived in had changed to winter and even now that was ending. Soon it would be spring and then summer… and then what? Would she go home if her mother didn't pull her out before then? Surely not, her mother would have to see the change in her. She had only been here a little while and already her powers were getting stronger and she knew spells by heart that her mother had tried to pound into her for months without success…

Sure her mother would see that? Surely…

She forced the sad thoughts from her mind and headed towards the stairs and down into the common room. She needed time to think. And since she couldn't sleep she might as well meditate. Slipping out she quickly closed the door to the common room and made her way to the fireplace that always seemed to be bright.

She moved to it and held out her hands to the warmth. Then with a sigh she sat down and crossed her legs closing her eyes and relaxing herself when she heard a sound that made her jump. Turning she raised her hands to fight and felt the energy just below her surface throbbing to be released only to find it was Remus laying on the couch. _But what was he doing out here?_

Relaxing she let the energy ebb back as her heart rate returned and then she slowly moved to his side. He was sound asleep on the couch but his face was covered in sweat. He jerked as she came closer and she stopped moving almost afraid to wake him. Then he started mumbling…

_"_No… No…not again… Padfoot… ohm… Prongs…hm… Wormtail…. run…. run… run!" he jerked and Gwen knew she had to wake him up again.

"Remus. Remus… Remus, wake up! Wake up! It's only a dream! A dream!" she shouted first, afraid to touch him. Her energy was still close to the surface… _what if?_

But he didn't move and only grumbled to himself so she was forced to. That's what she told herself even as her hand went to his shoulder to shake him. It wasn't that she wanted to go into his dream. To see what it is that made him shake and shiver so much. I wasn't that, she assured herself.

So saying she reached out and touched his shoulder intent upon shaking him awake but suddenly she was pulled in. Swept away by the feelings of his dream and she no longer was in the cozy rooms of Hogwarts. The warmth of the fire disappeared and was replaced by a chill.

Gwen found herself a dark room. Outside the moon, full and bright shined through the tattered window coverings. The wood of the building was old and she could feel splinters beneath her bare feet. Her hand was on someone's shoulders and she looked down realizing that it was Remus.

His hair was dirtied and he was whimpering almost silently to himself. Almost like he was already a wolf… Then a low growl reached her ears and she turned to see a great black dog advance on her. It eyes were almost hidden and for a second she thought it was the Grim but then she saw them. Two pools of melted silver.

"Sirius…"

_Let's just say that cats don't like me much._

"Padfoot…" Remus groaned… "No go away… it's coming too fast… I… I can't control…"

The clip-clop of hooves on the wood her attention and she turned to face the next surprising thing. It was a stag. He stood tall and strong his antlers held high aloft with glasses marks just under his eyes...

"James…"

_…break one of those antlers next time we go around…_

"Prongs… no… coming… fast…" Remus groaned and Gwen felt torn she knew she could stop the dream at any time. But she needed to know what happened next. Why did he dream of this?

Scurrying feet caught her attention and in a spring of pale blonde-almost-white fur a rat scampered up the back of Prongs' legs and settled on his back. Little blue rat eyes dart to and fro and then settled on he for just a second before he settled into a ball upon Prongs' back.

"Peter…"

_That's why I thought…_

"Wormtail… no… go… g-" his voice suddenly stopped and Gwen turned to find him changing beneath her fingers. He curled into himself and suddenly his nose grew and stretched. And suddenly his skin was changing from human to bristling fur that was the same sandy blond as the hair on his head. He grew bigger and bigger and suddenly his shirt was ripping.

Gwen took her hand from his shoulder and stared at him. Suddenly Remus was gone. His clothes lay in shreds around him and he stood shaking his coat off. Remus was gone… _Mooney was here…_ Her turned to her and she suddenly looking at the great white fangs of the werewolf.

A low growling filled the air and she backed up as far as she could go. She felt utter and total fear and then waited…

_No! No! No! Gwen!_

She heard Remus yelling… she heard him in the back of her mind and she saw Mooney walking forward. But even as she thought that she realized it wasn't Mooney. This animal bore no resemblance to the sweet pup his friends had nicknamed. This beast…

It growled at her and she tried to back up farther but her back hit the wall and she stared wide-eyed at the werewolf. The wolf's eyes gleamed and for a second she saw a red flash of fur as a fox darted in and sat in front of the beast… The wolf knocked it aside as it hit the wall Gwen saw its eyes open for a second… hazel eyes…

_Raven! No! No! Raven! No!_

"Raven?"

Then the wolf was standing right in front of her and she cringe down as far as she could go. The wolf leaped, she screamed… and with a flash of pain…

She fell off the couch and suddenly the connection was broken. She found herself laying on her side her breathing labored and her wrist throbbing with pain. She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked up at the couch.

Remus was sitting up and he too was breathing hard. Sweat still coated his face but this time his eyes met hers she knew he had just experienced the dream too. "I… I'm sorry, Remus… I was… I was trying to wake you." she finally managed to say and then she looked away for a second.

"Gwen… I dream like this every time… Right before the full moon… I didn't mean to wake you…"

"It's okay… I… I couldn't sleep. I was restless…" she shifted her to her arms and tried to push herself up but the throbbing pain of her right wrist made her collapse and she looked down at it quickly covering it with her left.

But Remus must have already seen the slash of red because he reached out and grabbed her wrist. "You're bleeding…"

"It's nothing. Really." She pulled it away and sat up. But then she took a look at it and shuddered. The gash was about an inch wide and from the top of her wrist to the other side in a long slash… the slash of claws. "I…I'll be fine… I just… I should have left you alone… Sorry…" she walked across the room and marched up to the girls' dormitory not waiting for him to say anything.

As soon as she was there she walked to the window seat and opened the window letting the cool air wash over her. It stung her wrist but she quickly pulled out a piece of cloth from her bag and wrapped it around tight. Murmuring a quick cure spell she looked up at the moon.

It was almost full… just short of not, a gibbous moon.

Soon it would be full… but had Remus taken his potion… or would his dream come true. She thought back to the dream how he had been screaming silently. Telling himself not to. Telling his friends to get out…. Not. If Remus could help it he would never take the risk of his friends. He wouldn't.


	18. From Writer to Reader

Dear Readers,

I know that I have put off adding more each and every time but this time it IS NOT my FAULT... For some strange reason my computer is stead fastly refusing to let me load up Chapter 18. So I'm going to have to try again at a later date. Until then please enjoy what little of Gwendolyn's story I have been able to get up. I'll update as soon as I can.

But also I would like to note one thing. I am a person who makes numerous mistakes while I write so if something doesn't make sense, isn't spelled correctly or is later changed for some reason you don't understand please feel free to ask me at any time. And any suggestive hints you can give me on what should happen next are always welcome. We writers can't criticize where the inspiration comes from. I know I'd be nowhere without brainstorming with friends!

At this time since I have the time on hand I'd actually like to thank a few people who have been very supportive of me. Such as my great great great friends: Kayla, Danae and Megan who have been the BEST and all the other people who have been so kind as to comment. I haven't recieved any flames which has both surprised and pleased me. (Please don't take that as incentive to write me a few!) And everyone has been both nice and encouraging on my first Harry Potter fanfic, of which I am greatful.

And though I wasoriginally nervous about sharing Gwendolyn with everyone I am now very happy that I havedone so... So... wrapping this up before I start crying...On behalf of Gwendolyn Farr and all of her Hogwarts friends I would just like to say thank you for reading and enjoy! Always yours now and eternally,

Angel Little


	19. Lakeshore Troubles

Readers,  
I thank you for all your time and patience. After many hours of working by the moonlight and the frustration that had me many times wishing for a quill and parchmentI have done it. I have written all the way to Chapter 22 whichI now proudly present to you. Still I must warn you. The Gwendolyn story is not quite finished though I hope that you will continue to read. As always I must remind you that the Marauders and Raven do not belong to me... though I wish that they did because then I could afford to go to college without working two jobs... but that is another story and one you aren't really interested in hearing. So please... enjoy. Gwendolyn wishes you the best as well.  
Angel

_**Chapter 18**_

"I'm coming with you…"As soon as the words were out of her mouth Gwen felt heat steal up the back of her neck.

"What?" Sirius asked.

He and the other boys had been sitting beside the fireplace. Remus was starting to look a bit pale and sick. And already he had skipped the first few classes.

"I… I said I'm coming with you." she looked into his silver eyes and then took a deep breath. "Tonight is the full moon. And I know you're going. I'm coming with you."

"Gwen you can't come. Around us Remus is calm enough but with you in human form… He might hurt you."

Her eyes went to the tiny scar that she knew was on her wrist. She and Remus had talked about it and agreed it would be safer for all that Sirius didn't know how she had gotten that scar. When he'd asked her about it she'd said that it had been an accident but she couldn't remember where she'd gotten it. At least the fist part was true…

She knew he meant the best but suddenly his attitude towards her sparked anger. "You're not the only one who can change, _Padfoot_." She said with a little bit of anger. She was still a little mad at him for not telling her right away. After all she had barred her soul to him… why couldn't he have tried to be as honest with her?

"Gwen…"

"I can change. I told you, I can change my size and bring my wings out. I'm coming.And that's the end of it, Sirius Black."

He growled almost like a dog and Gwen was again surprised that she hadn't seen it. The dog was so much a part of him. Turning away she started to march out of the common room. About halfway there she felt the anger fade and then stopped. _Maybe she shouldn't have…_

A hand grabbed her elbow and spun her around. Sirius' silver eyes glinted angrily in the room's light. "_Fine!_ But you're sticking with me the entire way."

Anger the anger came. "Says you," she returned and yanking her arm away marched out of the common room past Raven and Lily. She didn't know where she was headed but at the moment anywhere but where she was sounded good.

Sirius watched Gwen stomp away and then looked over at Raven and Lily. Raven was frowning at him fiercely and Lily… Lily was subtler. Her fingers were busy with the quick work of knitting a scarf, she barely spared him a glance but in that one glance/ glare she said it all.

_"Go after her, you idiot!"_

_Well… _Sirius growled and then stomped out after her.

* * *

Gwen found her steps taking her and farther away from the Gryffindor common room until she reached the shores of the great lake. With a sigh she flopped down by the water and bowed her head for a second.

The anger she had felt towards Sirius had long drained away but now she just needed to take a moment and think. So much had happened since the day she had arrived at Hogwarts. And it was affecting her so much. She knew her powers were growing stronger but that also meant that she might not be able to control them.

But more importantly there was Sirius. As the days wore on they had become closer and Gwen knew that leaving was going to be a problem. When she had come to this school she hadn't really thought about what might happen if she actually met people who could be her friends…

Now they had become more than that… They had become family. And she didn't want to have to leave that behind.

"You're doing it again."

Gwen nearly jumped as Sirius walked up behind her. Turning she looked up at him for a moment. His eyes were still a bit distant as if he was mad at her but behind that he saw a small glimmer of something. Something she remembered.

"Doing what?"

"That serious thinking. You do that a lot, I notice." He plopped down on the grass beside her and then turned his face towards the lake."Think seriously."

"Well, how else can you think?"

"You can think about happy things."

"But what if you're thinking about really serious things? Things that need to be thought of? Things you can't get around because they're so serious."

"Think of something else. Or better yet. Don't think." He turned and smiled at her and Gwen smiled back.

"But I have to think, Sirius."

"What is it you have to think about?"

For a moment Gwen was quiet as she thought of leaving all over again. Her throat seemed to tighten and she had to force the words out. "I… have to think about leaving."

"Leaving?"

"Mother will be coming soon. She said she would."

Sirius frowned at her for a moment then looked back out at the lake. The sun was just setting on the horizon and for a moment all the night was still as they sat side-by-side just the two of them.

When Sirius broke the silence his voice was flat. "So that's it."

"What?"

He stood and stuck his hands into his pockets. "You're just giving up. No fight? No will to do what you want to do? You're just going to let her run over you and take you back to where you were. Why Gwen? I thought you were different…"

"I am! Don't you see? That's the problem! I'm different."

"No, you're not. Look at you, Gwen. You are the same as I am. As Remus, or Raven, or James or Lily. We're all the same. But you…you're just going to give up, to throw your towel in when it gets hard. And let them tell you what to do. Just like that." He snapped his fingers and Gwen stood up.

"No! But… Sirius, I am so scared of what's going to happen. I know she's going to come and… I really wished she wouldn't. I want to stay but I can't… I'm underage. I'm a misfit. The ministry won't look kindly upon me. If Dumbledore finds out… he'll _have_ to send me back. And I don't want to leave. I _want_ to stay. I want so badly to stay I…I almost wish I never came…"

At this confession she turned away and faced the lake, but Sirius' hands gently turned her to face him and look him in the face. "Why?"

"Then I wouldn't know… how…how wonderful this place is and I wouldn't… I wouldn't miss it. Or you… Because I'd never know… I almost wish…"

"God Gwen, don't you go back to that. Can't you see how much that Hogwarts has changed you? When you came you were scared of everything. Of yourself and your own decisions. You were scared of me and of this school. But now look at you. You don't cower away or nod your head in fright, agreeing with everything. You have learned so much. And not just about the magic, but about yourself also. Don't throw all that away. Don't give it up."

"But what can I do Sirius? It's…it's so hard to know…w-what I should do…"

"Life is hard. Life will always be hard. The thing is… You have to learn to face it. You have to learn to put down your foot and say for once, "This is _my_ choice. This is_ my _life."

"Is that what _you_ did? Is that what you told your parents?" Again the night air was quiet and Gwen could almost see Sirius' back go ramrod straight. His eyes became hooded and the air around him seemed to almost freeze. "That's what I thought… Come on, it's late."

She turned and walked away from Sirius back towards the castle. Suddenly she became aware that Sirius wasn't following her. Pausing she turned to look back at him. He hadn't moved from his spot and for a moment Gwen saw his profile lit in the dying orange and red rays of the sun.

His silver eyes sparkled and Gwen sighed. _Why can't things just work out?_ Turning she walked inside and then back up to the common room. As she slid into bed for the night and tried to get as much rest as she could before it was time to leave she found she couldn't sleep. Each time her mind kept slipping back to that moment of Sirius staring out to the waters of the lake.

_Why couldn't I have kept my big mouth shut?

* * *

_

Sirius stared out at the water for a moment even as Gwen walked past him and back up into the castle. The colors of the sky changing slowly from the bright orange to red to purple to blue and then to the endless black ink of night. Among it the first stubborn stars began to appear and he watched them.

"_Is that what you did? Is that what you told your parents?"_

The words echoed in his head and damned him over and over again. Gwen was right. Why was it that the women in his life always had to be right?

_"I thought so…"_

Her eyes had dimmed then. She had wanted him to tell her that it was exactly what he had told his parents, to prove her wrong. That he had been practicing what he preached. Sirius looked up into the night sky and he found the star. The star around the galaxy he was named for. Sirius…

As it twinkled in the night sky he closed his eyes for a moment and made a wish… _Please…please… just this once… give me the courage…_


	20. Moony Mayhem

_**Chapter 19**_

"Gwen, it's time to go…" Raven said stepping back from Gwen's bed and walking to the door to wait. Dressed for the occasion she looked like something straight from the frontlines. Her army boots were on her feet, which surprised Gwen since she was so quiet as she walked; black cargo pants and a camouflage shirt finished the ensemble. Her hair was pulled back into a short ponytail and on top of that she wore a camouflaged cap angled rakishly across her forehead. But missing from her face was the usual twinkle of devilment…

Gwen nodded and slipped from beneath the covers. She was fully dressed as well. But in jeans and a halter-top, more ordinary clothes, instead. The halter-top was an old army shirt that had belong to Raven's eldest brother, Daniel, that Lily had altered for her in case she wanted to use her wings, so she wouldn't have to worry about ripping any clothes. As she slipped her shoes on she felt her heart pounding in her chest… just like the night she had left her own home…

Shaking away her thoughts she pulled her wand from the pocket of her robes and slipped it into the back pocket of her jeans. Just in case. You never knew and she was a little worried. Even with the thoughts lingering in her mind she pushed them as far away as possible. She needed to concentrate on Remus, after all.

She quickly pulled her hair into a ponytail high on her head and then followed Raven out into the common room. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter were quietly waiting for them. Like Raven they were dressed in dark clothes, except Remus, who was still dressed in his school clothes. Though his tie was missing and his shirt was already sticking to him in places…

Their faces glowed in the firelight and they all seemed nervous. Already Gwen could see that Remus was having trouble standing on his own. Sweat covered his face. His breathing was shallow and he looked like he was just barely holding himself together. She looked at Raven with a worried glance but she only shook her head. _They had to hurry… no time to talk…_

Next her gaze landed on Sirius but he only spared a single glance at her before he turned away and started out of the portal. James went first, muttering the "L_umos_" and the six of them walked slowly along the corridors in complete silence.

As they walked along she noticed that James and Sirius stuck close to Remus while Peter walked ahead his wand also lit and the Marauder's Map held open in front of him. But more disturbing then that was the fact that the corridors were so quiet. All the torches in the hall were extinguished and except for a few complaining portraits, things were utterly silent.

Even Peeves seemed suspiciously absent… Gwen watched Sirius' back all the way there and felt worry start in her stomach. _Was what I said still bothering him?_

Soon they exited the Hogwarts castle and the cool breeze blew across her face. Taking a deep breath she looked up at the sky. Clouds hovered over the stars and just near the horizon the last lingering rays of the sun were dying a silent death. Looking from the sky she saw Remus collapse onto James and Sirius' waiting shoulders.

"It's… happening too fast…" she heard him mutter and he seemed to feel a shock of something. _He's trying not to change…_

She glanced up to the sky again and saw the moon just begging to peek from the clouds. She saw that Sirius and James' were struggling with Remus down the hill so she ran after them until Raven finally stepped in front of them. She muttered a charm. When she looked up and saw Gwen's questioning gaze she answered the silent question.

"It's a numbing spell. It'll help him control the wolf… Come on we don't have much time. The clouds won't hold for long." She said the last part as she looked up at the sky.

James and Sirius nodded and Raven went behind Remus taking the job of supporting him. Then the boys began to change. Suddenly Peter was shrinking down and down and down… Then his hair seemed to cover his entire body, his clothes morphing until it was the same white-blonde shade as all of the hair on his head. A tail sprouted and suddenly a small ball of fur almost white in the grey of the night stood where Peter had. The rat turned and with watery eyes watched as Raven took the map and rolled it up. _Wormtail…_

Next to him James had already fallen forward and grown antlers. His legs had changed and grew muscled until he stood a good foot taller. His brown hair spread, shortening until a stag's coarse fur covered his body and the only reminder of his identity were the strange markings just below his eyes… the markings of the glasses that had sat on his nose… _Prongs…_

And Sirius, he had leaned over, and like wildfire his hair spread too. But it became long and shaggy. His bulk seemed to grow larger and his face stretched into a muzzle. His hands seemed to clench and then were changed to paws as big as Gwen's hand. Soon a huge black dog sat where he had, its tongue lolling lazily from his mouth. Only his eyes gave him away. _Padfoot…_

Raven helped Remus onto Prongs back and then she knelt holding the map in her mouth. As Sirius had her muzzle formed first and her shape changed. But instead of growing she shrank. And as her hair grew across her body it changed from its midnight black to a bright red-orange. The tail grew and the fur spread there too until it reached the end when it changed from black to white in an instant. Like the others soon there was nothing remaining of her friend but hazel eyes intelligent and bright with just the hint of mischief… _Raven…_

Pulling her wand from her pocket she waved it around herself and muttered the phrase. Her stone floated in front of her and she watched it as it burst forth with light and dust floated around her. Then in a whirlwind of fairy dust she shrunk. It happened so fast that at first when she stood she wasn't even sure that it had happened… until she saw the red-orange fur of Raven.

Moving quickly she pushed her wand back into her pocket and then jumped onto Raven's back. She grabbed the sides with her legs but as Raven started to run she was forced to grab some tufts of hair and leaned down praying she wouldn't be thrown off.

When she was sure that she wouldn't fall off she looked up and saw Remus' pale face and James' powerful legs as he ran alongside them. Beside him raced Sirius with Peter crouched on his back. She glanced up at the clouds and saw the moon was slowly making its way out into the night air. And a chill raced down her back.

Maybe it was just the wind racing across her naked back but she suddenly found herself having a premonition. She glanced over her shoulder but saw only the darkened hillside… Still the feeling persisted. Something was going to happen… _but what was it?

* * *

_

Snape watched Potter and his _friends_ slipped out into the night and over the hill. He gripped his wand tightly in his hands and then he looked up to the clouded skies. In his head he could still hear the taunting. He could still feel the humiliation burning through him as Potter had held him up in the air… As Sirius teased him… as Gwen had smiled at him and Malfoy.

"_Which one of us is **mere**?"_

He looked up again to the sky and then started across the grounds. He knew where they were headed… But this time he would so more than follow. This time… This time he would see what Perfect Potter and his friends were _really_ hiding…

* * *

Soon the tall growth of the Whomping Willow was hovering over them and Peter dashed across the field toward its base. Since clouds still obscured the moon, as he made a dash for the tree, he appeared to be only a small ball of grey-white fur…

Suddenly as if some unknown puppeteer had taken over the tree started to lash and whip wildly. Its great branches pounded on the ground and smashed the ground leaving huge holes in the mud with a great "whomping" sound every time the tree hit the earth.

Gwen looked from the tree to the others but none of them seemed afraid. Sirius sat beside James his great shaggy bulk still in the strengthening moonlight but for his fur that blew in the wind. His eyes seemed intent upon the great tree and Gwen saw no fear and no uncertainty. So she looked back to it as well.

The small ball of fur she knew was Peter had dodged past the whipping branches of the trees narrowly missing being hit by a fraction of an inch each time and made it to the very base of the tree. Racing around he seemed to be searching for something along the base of the tree. And then he found it. Crouching onto his back legs he seemed to lean all his weight onto a knot on the trunk of the tree.

Almost immediately, the tree stopped its thrashing and whipping and once again the night was completely silent. And like a great statue highlighted in the moonbeams the tree stood. Not a leave twitching. Not even as the wind picked up around them.

Then again they were moving and Gwen gripped Raven's back in terror as they headed toward the tree. Peter waited for them standing his ears at attention as they drew nearer then when they were mere inches from his he took off dashing down a small gap between the roots. Gwen watched him disappear and for a moment she was reminded of a story she had once heard from some little girls who had been headed to the wishing well. It had been about a little girl who had chased a rabbit down a hole. What had been her name? …_Alice? _Yes, that was it.

And because she had slipped down the rabbit hole she had landed in a place so different from her own. A place called Wonderland where everything was as it shouldn't be. Where animals talked and an evil queen could order your head to be chopped off simply because you made her angry…

And as Raven headed towards the whole it occurred to her that Hogwarts had been like her Wonderland. From the moment she had stepped onto the grounds of that great castle it had been as if everything she had ever known had been turned upside down. But like Alice was she doomed to wonder through cursing her mistakes and wishing only that she could go home?

Suddenly the tunnel loomed before her and her thoughts vanished like fairy dust in the night. Her heart pounded in her chest and then she and Raven slid into the hole and down and earthly slope that lead into a small low tunnel that had Gwen been standing on her own two feet, at her current size, would have been tall enough for three Fae her size to stand on one another shoulders. As it was she had just enough room for her head if she stood up straight on Raven's back with maybe three more inches left.

Even so the tunnel seemed to be closing in around them and as they walked on Gwen felt herself wishing that she could talk to Raven. But how could she? Especially since Raven couldn't exactly talk.

« How're you holding up, up there? »

Gwen nearly jumped off Raven's back when she heard her voice in her head but then she heard laughter... Raven's laughter. "R-Raven? I… I hear but… how can you…?"

« How can I speak to you? Well, we're not sure but we can communicate to one another and I figured you'd be able to hear me considering from what I've heard Fairies tend to be more in tune with nature then regular people. We call it sort of… well for lack of better wording… thought-speaking. »

"And the others can do this?"

« Yep… At least if they want to they can. But I get the feeling that you and Sirius had a little fight. What happened yesterday when he chased after you?»

"I… I don't really want to talk about it. At least not now… "

« Okay, but you know I'm here… »

"Yeah. Thanks, Ray…"

« You know that's the first time you've shortened my name… I like it. You should loosen up more like that, Gwen. You know, let go of all of the self-consciousness you have. You've earned the right to at least a little bit of confidence. At least that's what I think. »

Gwen thought about how she had said to Sirius that night on the lakeshore. She had been confident then but… now he was mad at her. Because she had been defending herself against his… well, warranted… but unwanted advice. She had been confident then… Confident he needed to mind his own business. But what if she was wrong?

Raven might be sure she had earned a little confidence but every time she earned some and used it. She used it wrong. Did that mean she really earned it? What if every time she earned some confidence she went and did something stupid… like hurt the people she cared about? …like she had with Sirius?

« We're almost there… Want to look back and see how the boys are doing? » Raven said unconcerned about Gwen worrying inner thoughts.

Gwen nodded against Raven's back and then turned to look over her shoulder. She saw the shadows of Remus with Sirius, still in his dog form right behind him. Behind him was another boy… James. He must't have been able to fit in his stag form so he had changed back. Turning around she noticed the tunnel had begun to widen and it twisted so that they exited into a large and dusty room. A dim light glowed from a single lamp that stood on an old worn and tattered table.

The room itself looked as if someone or something had tried to tear it apart from the inside out. The wallpaper had begun to peel and through it patches of exposed wood had warped with the wear and tear of claws. Along the floor great strains of red dotted everything. They were red and Gwen didn't even want to think of what they could possibly be…

Windows were boarded up and furniture, which some caring soul had obviously brought in out of concern for someone's comfort, had all been smashed and trashed. All around the room there was the mark of claws and teeth and Gwen felt the sheer pain and agonizing loneliness in the air as if someone had taken a can of paint and painted it across the walls in great angry letters.

Gwen felt something twist at her heart and she turned as the others walked in behind them. James quickly changed back into Prongs and with Sirius' help the two of them managed to maneuver Remus up onto his back once more.

To their right was a doorway and with a quick pull on a rope tied around the knob from Sirius the door flew open and they moved through it. They moved on down a gloomy hallway and then up a set of creaky stairs that barely looked fit to walk up. But even then the dust that lay everywhere else was missing here as if…

Something had moved up and down them many times so that no dust could settle… James didn't even pause and he and Sirius walked straight up the stairs and into another room. This one a bedroom. The first thing that Gwen noticed was a magnificent four-poster bed with great hanging that had once been red but were now a pale pink. Other furniture dotted the room. But like that of the first room it was smashed and scratched up and the windows were again boarded up…

James didn't pause here either but moved straight to the tattered bed kneeling slightly so Remus could slip off onto the softness of the bed. With a final heave he got himself comfortable and then lying there on his side he gasped for breath and curled into himself. "It… it's coming fast… faster… than … usual… Have to… be careful…"

Gwen hopped from Raven's back and ran across the room putting her hand on his own hand which was now about as big as she was… And then just like in her dream she turned and saw the others. Of course they were all much larger than she. But there they were. Raven, Sirius, James and perched on Sirius' head, Peter…

The wind howled through the small cracks in the windows and a chill ran down her back. That chill brought on a quick flash of memory… another time. Another transformation too fast to handle. The four of them, the boys, here just sitting and waiting. Remus suddenly transforming and _then_…

_Stop him!_

_Stop him before he hurts himself!_

_Remus… Remus…_

_Suddenly the image changed and she saw Remus talking to Sirius. Walking away from them was Severus. His back to them but something about the way Sirius was acting... There was a smirk on his lips, one of pure hatred. One she had only seen there once… when he had been talking about Severus Snape._

_"Sirius, what did you do?" Remus asked_

_"Remus, its his fault he shouldn't be snooping around…. He's trying to get us expelled…"_

_"What did you do Sirius?"_

"Nothing… I was just teasing him…"

_Remus appeared satisfied but Gwen saw something he didn't. Gwen saw that behind his back he had crossed his fingers. And still in his eyes that look. The cold calculated look._

A creaking sound drew her attention and she snapped back to reality… "What did you do Sirius? He's coming…" Gwen whispered it almost to herself but the others heard.

« What? Gwen what is it? » Raven spoke first then Sirius.

« What? What did I do? Who's coming? »

"He's coming… Sirius… Severus is coming… Why? Why did you have to taunt him?"

« I… »

« What? Snivellus is coming? » James cut him off and then in an antsy move seemed to dance in place for a moment.

Gwen nodded. "Down the tunnel…"

« Stay here… » James danced for only another second and then he was racing back towards the tunnel. Slowly his shape changed as he ran.

"Wait what are you going to do?" Gwen asked

"I'm going to stop him," James said as he disappeared out the door and the creaking of the stairs reached their ears.

"Be careful…" Gwen said as he disappeared but she knew he couldn't hear her. She looked back up at Remus and then she looked at the others…

_You've earned the right to at least a little bit of confidence..._

Raven's words rang in her ears and she frowned for a moment, thinking. Looking back she saw Remus' pale face… He moaned and curled into himself and slowly he began to change… soon he would be full werewolf… Could James get Severus out fast enough and still change before Remus…

…_at least a little bit of confidence…_

She looked up at Remus and then she knew what she had to do. Without speaking to the others she started to race across the room saying the incantation for her wings in her head. As soon as they were out she took to the air and then in a flair of dust headed out…

« Where are you going? »

Sirius asked her calling her back but she only paused a moment to look back at him as she pulled her wand out. "Where do you think I'm going? I'm going to help James."

Sirius watched as Gwen flew from the room leaving only a trail of fairy dust behind her. « Gwen! Come… back… »

Pacing back and forth for a moment he heard Remus moaned behind him. « Oh… what does she think she's doing? »

« Fixing your mistake… » Raven said from behind him and he turned on her.

« What are you talking about? »

« You brought him here! Didn't you? You just had to go and taunt him. _You_ brought him here and she's going to fix your mistake. »

« I never meant… »

« You never mean anything, Sirius. That's how it always is… » Raven turned away from him then and hopped onto the bed beside Remus. Slowly he had changed and already the hair had coursed across his body. His eyes had changed their shape and already his clothes had been torn and shredded as they always did… It really was a wonder he had any clothes…

Sirius felt terror for his friend welling up in him and also anger that Raven could speak to him in such a way. « And what would you have done? You saw the way he treated Gwen. The things he told her… That slime ball told her she didn't belong here… »

For a moment Raven was silent. Only Remus low and throaty growls filled the room and then she turned from Remus and looked into Sirius' eyes. « Guess you're right… I would've done the same thing. Besides… it would've been funny… Seeing Snivellus' look of pure terror… »

Remus stood up on his wolf legs and Raven tilted her head as she looked up at him. Beside Moony she was tiny. « That doesn't make it… right… » Remus managed to mutter to them and then he lay down his head on his great paws and Raven curled up beside him…

« We know Remus… But… it would be funny… To just once get the better of that great git… » She laid her head down on her paws and looking up at him with her eyes.

For a moment they lay just like that and Sirius felt like an outsider. Peter moved for a better position on his head and Sirius felt stupid. It had been a stupid thing to do but he had been mad. He… A noise drew his attention and immediately Remus sat up growling low in his throat. Sirius sniffed the air… then he spun planting himself firmly in the doorway as Remus leapt from the bed…

« Stay… Stay, Remus… »

But Sirius knew what he had smelled… _Prey…

* * *

_

Gwen dashed out into the main room just as Severus walked through the first doorway and James came to the bottom of the stairs. She stood on the top railing of the stairway and watched as the too boys faced each other. Each was breathing rather hard but as soon as they saw the other they straightened.

She heard a growl from behind her and then heard two sounds: a dog barking and a fox yipping. Another growled issued and she knew it was Remus. A crashed sounded and she saw the image of Raven being tossed aside. A yip of pain filled the air and then more barking. Another crash and a howl of pain and she saw Sirius being tossed aside.

Terror went up her spine and she spun to see Remus walking slowly from the room. His amber eyes hazed over… _He smelled human… he smelled prey…_

"Get out of here, Severus!" James looked up to see Remus.

"It… it's… he's a werewolf…" that was all Severus managed to get out of his lips before Remus jumped up and over Gwen and down into the room. He landed with a great thump but already eyed them.

"Get out of here, Severus!" James yelled and this time he grabbed Severus' arm and started to pull him out. But as soon as the two boys started moving Remus seemed to react. His growl became more pronounced and Gwen knew he was going to attack.

Jumping down she landed right in front of him. "Stop!"

She heard the Severus headed out but then there was total silence as they stood face to face. She was no bigger than six inches tall while Remus had grown and was a huge two-foot wolf. His fur glimmered in the moonlight and Gwen's wings still glistened with residue fairy dust. She barely came to the knee joints and yet that one word she uttered stopped him. "Stop it, Remus…"

His eyes flickered and then as James came up behind her she saw that he had changed once more and with one last look at her then he turned and walked up the stairs… back to Sirius and Raven.


	21. Dumbledore detention

Chapter 20

"It is a grave thing when students wander the grounds of Hogwarts at night." Professor Dumbledore watched them silently behind his half moon glasses. One hand rested on his chair as he gazed solemnly at the four of them, Gwen, James, Remus and Severus… "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Severus began first. "Professor, Remus is a werewolf. How can you…"

James interrupted him. "Professor. Severus should never have…"

And Remus interrupted James. "It wasn't their fault professor…"

The three boys were arguing among themselves when suddenly Dumbledore held up his hand for silence. "And you Miss Farr? Have you nothing to say?"

"Headmaster… I'm sorry… It was my fault. I didn't know about the rules… And if I hadn't… If I hadn't followed Remus then… James wouldn't have followed me and Severus wouldn't have followed him. I… I saw Remus leaving and I got curious so I followed him. James must have followed me, I don't know about Severus… But… I'm sorry."

"Gwen… that's…" James tried to interrupt but she cut him off.

"I'm sorry James. I didn't mean to get you in trouble." She looked at him for a moment and then had to look away otherwise Dumbledore would know she was lying. "It's my fault, Headmaster. Don't blame them."

Dumbledore sighed and then sat in his chair contemplating her. Suddenly it seemed as if the air in the very room had become heavy and barely breathable. Then he nodded and turned to the boys. "You may go. But… you will not go completely unpunished. Five points will be taken from your houses. And Severus, I hope I can make a most abject point that you are to keep this to yourself about Remus."

Severus scowled but then he nodded. "Yes, Professor."

"Leave. You, Miss Farr…"

Gwen ducked her head and waited for the sentence she knew was coming. Her wand would surely be taken and she would be sent home. How gleeful her mother would be…

* * *

James pounded his way down the steps with Remus and Severus right behind him. "I can't believe she did that. I can't believe she did THAT!"

He stepped into the hallway and immediately Raven, Lily and Sirius swarmed around him. Remus walked out and leaned against a wall. His arms crossed and head bent.

"What? What did she do?" Raven asked as she walked up beside Remus putting her hand on his shoulder.

"She blamed herself. She took _all_ the blame…" James muttered and then he pounded his fist into the walls. "I can't believe she did that…"

"What?" Lily said. "Why did she do that?"

"Because… she didn't think she was going to be here for much longer so she gave herself so we wouldn't _all_ be expelled." Remus said speaking for the first time.

"What is she crazy?" Sirius said and he looked to the statue that led up to Dumbledore's office. "Why?"

"…because we're her friends." Raven said and then she looked to each of them.

"Well, I for one, think its no more than she deserves." Severus said and the five of them turned to look at him.

Sirius took a step forward and then James put a hand on his shoulder to hold him. "Don't. You. Say. A. _Word_. About her… You are not fit to breath the same air. She just risked herself for you, as you well know. And you owe her."

"I don't owe that little winged midget anything."

"You don't owe her? " Raven marched up to Severus before anyone could stop her until she was mere inches away from his face. "If she and James hadn't stepped in front of Remus last night you would have been werewolf chow. And right now, I'm kind of sorry you weren't. Because say what you will, Severus but that "little midget" as you called her is a better person then you will ever or can ever hope to be."

The silence was deafening but finally Remus moved and he placed a hand on Raven's shoulder. But instead of calming her down she seemed to gain more anger. "And what's more, she didn't _have _to protect you. She could have let you get in trouble. Now get out of here. Because if Sirius doesn't punch you. _I will_."

Severus looked from Raven to Sirius who James barely held in check. Then he apparently decided not to take the chance and turned and walked down the hall and out of sight. The strain remained for a moment and then the five of them turned and sat down in the halls waiting for Gwen to come out.

* * *

"Miss Farr… I cannot ignore the fact that what you did was foolhardy… You recklessly went after Mr. Lupin without a thought to the consequences of what he might have been doing… " Gwen closed her eyes and bowed her head. "But I also cannot ignore the fact that you are loyal to your friends."

In his voice suddenly the reprimanding had left and laughter filled his voice. As she looked up she also saw that it had come into his eyes as well. "Headmaster?"

"You and I both know that James Potter is not a saint. Nor are his friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin or Peter Pettigrew. I am well aware that together the four have done a few… unmentionable things of which I _officially _have no knowledge. And yet, when it came down to simply telling me what really happened, you defended them. And that is a trait I can only admire. But there is one thing I must ask. Why?"

"Professor, they have been my friends. They even know my secret but they treat me no differently then if I was one of them. Others… have not been so kind."

"And yet you protect them too."

"Everyone makes mistakes, sir. And it wasn't Severus' complete fault. I'm afraid I was a factor in why he came as well. So it was only fair I made up for that."

"You are… truly extraordinary, Miss Farr. Most people would likely have left him to get his punishment and only free their friends. Yet you also freed your enemy."

"Life is too short to hold grudges. And in the end… nothing comes of them. I should know…"

"Yes… well…. Lemon drop?"

"Hmm…?"

"Oh, they're a muggle treat that I've found myself particularly fond of. Would you like some?"

"Uh… sure…" she reached out and grabbed one not sure what else to expect. As she sucked on the treat she looked at the professor and waited for his sentence.

"Of course, you understand that I cannot completely let you off the hook. The gravity of your mistake is all too much to simple tap you on the wrist for and let you go free."

"I understand, sir."

"Good. Then you will understand why it is that you will be having detention with Filch in the trophy room for the next two weeks and that I must take another five points from your house."

"Yes, sir. I understand."

"Under normal circumstances I would also have to contact your mother but…"

"Oh please, no. Professor, please don't do that. She was uncertain about sending me and if you call her she will take me out for sure…"

"_But…_seeing as how you didn't know about the rules and it _is_ your first offense I will let you off easy this time with a _warning_."

"Oh… thank you, Professor."

Dumbledore smiled. "Just be more careful next time, Miss Farr." his eyes danced and then he smiled and motioned to the door. "You may leave. I don't want you to keep your friends waiting much longer. It's late and you all have class early tomorrow morning…"

"Thank you Professor…"

The hallway outside of Dumbledore's office was thick with tension. Raven sat on the windowsill swinging her legs back and forth listlessly while Remus sat on the floor beside her nervously wringing his hands. Both their eyes were trained on the door to the office. Across from them James had pulled his snitch out and was letting it fly a little ways before he caught it and Lily was sitting calmly beside him crocheting. The only give away was that many times James had to get up and chase the snitch down and Lily was more often then not seen frowning at the doorway than crocheting.

But of all of them the most nervous was Sirius. So nervous was he that he had paced the length hallway so many times it was a wonder he had not burned a hole in it. Tucking his hands in his pants pocket and slouching forward his hair nearly covered his face. But if anyone had seen his face they would have worried. Thoughts raced through his head as if it was a muggle's raceway and he wanted nothing more than to stop them.

_Why had Gwen done that? She'd gotten herself kicked for sure this time. But why? She could have done something… anything else. Saved herself…_

"Bloody hell! Why did she do that?" the exclamation made all the others jump and stare at him but he didn't really care. "I mean, why did she have to sacrifice herself… there must have been something…"

"I don't know Sirius… I was trying to come up with a way to get us all out of there and then she just spoke up. I couldn't very well refute her story…she gave us a way out. _All_ of us. Even that _Snivellus… _which I don't get…"

Lily sighed. "You boys… I know why. Haven't you ever heard of 'treat others as you would like them to treat you'? By being kind to Severus she has opened the way so he can be kind back to her. Maybe he never will be but… she has proven her point."

"Her point?" Sirius asked but this time Raven answered.

"Duh. She's proven that she doesn't want Severus as an enemy. You guys treat him really bad so in turn he hates you. She has treated him with a kindness. So he's indebt to her. Maybe he'll never pay it but he is. Just as he's indebted to you, James."

"To me? Why?"

"You saved his life. If you hadn't gotten him out of the shrieking shack then he might be dead. Or worse… he might have ended up Remus' roommate every full moon…" she shuddered almost comically and the others laughed.

"So you see," Lily continued, "Gwen did what she thought was right. She saved her friends, helped her enemy and sacrificed herself. Plus if you look at it from her point of view she doesn't think she'll be here much longer so it doesn't really…"

Lily stopped as the door to Dumbledore's office swung open and the stairway appeared. Standing and turning to face the gate all of them waited. A pin could have been dropped and heard but none of them would have noticed as Gwen stepped into the hallway and the doorway slid shut again.

Gwen stepped out and then stared as everyone stared at her. "Wow… um… I didn't think you'd all be here…W-were you waiting for me?"

"Yeah." Raven said stepping forward. "So how'd it go?"

"Um… Well. I'm to report to Filch's office tomorrow…"

"Why?" James asked first and then the others started in.

"You're not going to…?"

"Dumbledore didn't…"

"He can't!"

"Gwen that's not fair!"

Gwen held up her hand and everyone quieted. "I'm to report to Filch's office tomorrow… to start my two weeks detention."

"So… you're staying?" Sirius ventured to ask and Gwen smiled.

"Yes," she said and everyone leaped up shouting and laughing not hearing as she finished the rest of her sentence. "At least… for now…"

Raven hugged Remus and he yelped in pain, which of course caused her immediately start apologizing. "Oh… sorry, Remus, I forgot. Are you okay?"

"Uh… yeah… fine…"

Raven grimaced and then turned to Gwen but she stopped when she saw that Sirius had engulfed her in a hug and then turned to Lily and James. The two of them were staring at on another. Lily's arms were on James shoulders and lightly resting on her hips James' hands seemed to have gone limp. Then they broke away from each other looked away from each other guiltily.

The hallways were once again silence and she turned to Remus. "I think we should get you back to the common room. Are you sure you're all right?"

Remus grinned. "Sure, fit as a fiddle." He grimaced again and Raven slipped her arm around his waist leading him down the hall.

"Right a fiddle with broken strings." She smiled and turned to the others. "Come on you guys. If Filch catches us out here then we'll all get detention with Gwen…"

* * *

Silently the six of them walked down the hallway never noticing that someone watched them from around the corner. Severus watched them disappear and then wondered why he had bothered to come back.

_"If she and James hadn't stepped in front of Remus last night you would have been werewolf chow." _Raven's words echoed in his mind and he cringed.

So now he owed his life to that… that mutt and Potter… He turned and stalked down the hallway. _How much worse can my life get?_


	22. Father to daughter

_**Chapter 21**_

Gwen sat on the edge of the astronomy tower wall and looked up to the sky. She had just finished another grueling detention sentence with Filch. Her hands ached from shining of the trophies but she still felt good. She was still here.

By now she was surprised that she hadn't been kicked out. And her mother had yet to come. Maybe the threat had been an idle one. One that was supposed to have made Gwen come running home before her mother did something drastic. Maybe… but it was also unlikely...

More than likely Carina Farr was biding her time letting her daughter sweat things out so that when she finally came Gwen would be ready to go back with her. But the thing was… would she go back with her? Silently she asked herself that question and then looked up to the bright night sky. So much had changed since that first night when she had wandered so lost and alone through the hallways. Things had changed the moment the marauders had walked across her path. She pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them with a smile.

"So many things have changed…" she murmured. "And I know, that given the choice, I won't go. I'll fight…"

"Gwen, what are you doing up here?" a sleepy eyed Raven complained as she rubbed her robe with her arm.

"Hi Raven… I was just thinking." She sighed and turned to face her friend. "Hey Ray, do you think I've changed since my first day here?"

"Changed? Yeah, for the better... You've lasted through the worst that the Marauders could dish out and are still standing. Not many girls at Hogwarts can say that."

"You can."

"Yeah, but this is me we're talking about. I'm a little different."

"And I'm not?" Gwen smiled as she slipped down off the wall. "You're dating a werewolf and I'm half-fairy. I don't think either of us qualifies as _normal_ in anyone's book, wizard, witch or muggle."

"Yeah, but it makes it all the more fun." Raven grinned and Gwen smiled. "Come on the boys'll be worried if we don't get back soon. Sirius might just pace another hole into the common room floor. And I don't think Dumbledore will like that…"

Gwen smiled and the two of them headed off towards the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

Again Gwen couldn't sleep though she tried. She tossed and turned and even as much as her body wanted to fall asleep her mind wouldn't shut off. Sighing she slipped from the bed and walked out into the common room.

As usual it was empty so she settled herself in the middle and then closed her eyes and concentrated. First she touched the floor and a muddle of thought flowed into her. The thoughts of the thousands of people that had walked across this floor swarmed into her brain. Some who had walked it today and some who had walked it hundreds even thousands of years before…

She went searching and found Remus, Raven, Lily, James, and Sirius… Remus had been wondering when he'd be back to normal again today. Raven had been thinking about the potions test, she was pretty sure she'd flunk it. Lily and James had been thinking of each other while pretending not to. Sirius had been wondering what she had to do for detention.

Smiling she decided to try and touch other people she knew. First was a boy fascinated by muggles with the last name of Weasley. He was in her defense against the dark arts class and had been fascinated by how she had lived so close to muggles…

Arthur… that was his name… She felt around and for a short moment she saw an image of him gangly with red hair and freckles smiling as he fired question after question at her. His thought had been on the uses of a rubber ducky today though he seemed a bit bemused about a girl… wonder who she was…

Moving on Gwen slowly and meticulously picked out people she knew and read the different thoughts that had drifted through their minds as they paced the floor until she had gone through everyone she knew in the Gryffindor house. But instead of calling it quits an idea came to her and laid her hands flat on the floor.

Maybe she could… _Gideon Coda Wulfric Farr… _the name passed like a chant through her head as she reached out for him… _Gideon Farr…_at first nothing and then came a tumble of memories… The shock made Gwen fall backwards but she didn't fight it and let it drift over her…

_A young man stood in the middle of the common room, it's lights muted and the hour obviously late. His brown hair curly like Gwen's framed a face filled with great sorrow. Eyes the same color as Gwendolyn's shined with tears as he looked to the ground._

_In front of him a letter lay the dark ink of the ministry blotched with teardrops. Gwen walked slowly to his side and then looked at the writing. But slowly she walked back shock filling her system._

**"_Dear Mr. Farr, _**

_**It is with our deepest regret we tell you that your parents were killed today in an unforeseen accident. They were truly good people. The best Aurors that could ever have been and that we shall ever see. But do not grieve too much son. There is still much ahead of you and as of your day of graduation from Hogwarts there is a place for you here in the Ministry…" **_

_The words echoed hollowly in her head she wanted to hear no more. So that was why her father had become a Mystery. He had no family. His parents had been killed when he was young… and so helpless…_

_"Gideon," a man's voice echoed through the room and Gwen's father leapt up to look to the doorway of the room._

_"Pro-Professor Dumbledore, sir?"_

_"I heard the news about your parents. Gene and Kana were two wonderful people… They didn't deserve this, son."_

_"N- no one deserves a thing like this, sir." Gideon managed and then sniffing tried to wipe his cheeks "B-but if they had to die… they would have been proud… to be…to be doing their job sir…"_

_"That doesn't make it any easier to let it go, now does it?" Dumbledore said and then he smiled. "Do you want a lemon drop?"_

_"A what, sir?"_

_"A lemon drop. They're a muggle candy I've found myself very fond of."_

_Gwen grinned. It was the same thing he'd said to her in his office when she had started to feel sad about her life. Her father reacted much the same as she did. Surprised the professor would ask such a thing in a grave moment and then he smiled._

_"Yes, it will be hard to let them go…" Dumbledore muttered as if to himself but then he looked at Gideon. "But you'll make it through, won't you, Mr. Farr?"_

_"Yes sir, and I hope that when I… when I am out there that if I must die for the Ministry, as they did, I die fighting for what I believe in… As they did, Professor."_

_"And you did." Gwen felt herself mutter and tears drenched her eyes and blurred her vision. Her father and Dumbledore faded away and then the vision too blurred and the common room swam back into place._

For a moment Gwen could only lay there tears falling from her eyes as she stared at the ceiling. For a while she just cried and then somehow she managed to find the strength to roll to her side and then walk into the girls' dormitory and fall onto her bed asleep… As she did she didn't notice that her fairy stone glowed red… for danger…


	23. Mama, may I?

A/N: I got a lot of remarks saying that my last chapter was something of a let down since it was kind of anti-climatic. So I reread it and… well, I didn't like it. So after a lot of deliberation, the help of a dictionary and thesaurus, and a couple of good, good friends (thank you, Kayla and Danae, I don't know what I'd do without you) here it is… The revised and hopefully much more fitting **_Chapter 22:_** _Mother may I_? Oh and please don't feel bad if you find something wrong with my chapters. I'd actually prefer if you tell me because then I don't feel quite so silly. Hope you enjoy… 

Angel Little

* * *

_**Chapter 22**_

Gwen stretched her hands over her head and yawned and then looked around at her work. The trophies gleamed impeccably and as usual her hands and arms ached. Settling back on her heels she shined the last of the glass and slid the door closed. Standing up she slowly dried her hands on the rag and then grabbed up the bucket and headed outside. "All done for the night, Mr. Filch."

"Eh? Done already?" he glared suspiciously at her and then looked past her to the trophy room. "Fine, then get back to the common room."

He turned away and began marching down the hall mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like a curse. Gwen shook her head and with a sigh turned and headed down the hall. Today was her last day of detention and she was glad of it. Her hands were covered in blisters and she was certain she'd never get the smell of the disinfectant from her clothes.

Rubbing a hand over her face she slowly removed the scarf she had wrapped around her hair and let it fall down around her shoulders. As usual it had become bothersome and for a while she had thought of cutting it short. But she couldn't imagine what Sirius would have to say if she did…still…

Yawning widely she made her way slowly along the halls heading for the common room. She was too tired to even consider taking a tour to the tower tonight. Her mind as well as her body was exhausted. Moving slowly around the corner she was rubbing her hand on the back of her neck when she became aware of her necklace.

The stone was pulsing…

Reaching inside her shirt she quickly pulled it out and stared at it. Slowly and rhythmically as a beating heart it pounded and flashed red then blue then purple and then finally green. "She here…" Suddenly she wasn't so tired. With renewed energy she ran the rest of the way to the common room her heart nearly pounding out of her chest.

When she arrived at the Fat Lady's portrait she was nearly out of breath and was in no mood to face the scowling woman. Still out of sorts with Gwen from their first meeting the Lady never looked very pleased to see her. "Password?" she asked disdainfully.

"Wolfsbane._"_

With a royal toss of her head and a not so royal frown the Lady opened but Gwen didn't even let her open completely before rushing inside. Looking around inside she saw that the common room looked exactly as she had left it…

_But how could that be…?_

"SURPRISE!"

Sirius watched as Gwen jumped. The five of them must have looked a sight holding trays full of food and their grins on their faces. They had been planning this surprise for quite a while. Between them they had managed to stash away as much treats as they could get their hands on. And though he hadn't asked how Raven had gotten Pumpkin Juice as well.

But something wasn't right. Something was wrong with Gwen. Her eyes were wide and it wasn't just surprise that was in them but fear. She was breathing roughly as if she had run all the way from the trophy room. Her hair was down, for the first time since she had come to Hogwarts, its brown locks falling forward almost covering her face.

But it was more than the fact that she looked so different. Around her neck the fairy stone she wore was glimmering in a rainbow of colors like a siren.

"Gwen… Are you okay?" Raven asked stepping forward first.

"She's… she's not here?"

"She?" Sirius found himself asking though he was pretty sure he knew who she was talking about.

"My…" she stopped as a small glimmer of green light flew in through the window and landed down in the middle of the common room floor. "Mother…"

Sirius watched in amazement as the tiny ball of light grew and stretched until a tall willowy woman stood before them. Her hair, unlike Gwen's was wheat blonde, its curls long and loose flowed down to just below her waist. Eyes as green as a spring day gazed at them from what have once been a beautiful face.

Around her neck a fairy stone almost exactly like Gwen's hung too, in the light it was shinning a strong green light. She wore a long flowing dress that was green as her eyes. It shimmered in the light and though Sirius wouldn't have liked to admit anything good about her it made her look beautiful. The sleeves were so long that they almost trailed along the floor making her hands disappear inside the sleeves.

But where Gwen may look somewhat like her mother she had not inherited the sharp line that seemed to make Carina Farr looked harsh. At one time perhaps she had been beautiful but now with the almost cruel frown between her eyes and the stress lines around her mouth she looked almost nothing like her loving daughter.

_So this was Gwen's mother?_

"Gwendolyn… it's past _time_ you came home…"

* * *

Gwen stared into her mother's eyes and felt all her fears came rushing back to her. Her heart was pounding double time and she felt as if she was trapped in a nightmare. But this nightmare was real. Her mother was here and she was going to take her back. A lump formed in her throat and she found herself wanting to cry. 

Somehow she found her voice though it sounded weak even to her own ears as she spoke. "Hello mother…"

"_Hello?_ That's all you can say? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? It took me so long just to find **_this place_ **and when I do finally find you… what do I find? You… with _their kind._"

"They are my friends."

"_Friends?_ They are nothing but a bunch of self –serving, egotistical _rogues_. They care nothing for you though it is obvious that the time here has affected your mind. "

Gwen looked at her mother and could see the anger emanating from her still she found she couldn't say anything around the lump that had formed in her throat.

"I have no idea what made you come here. **_These people_** are the ones that took everything away from us. Do you not remember that, Gwendolyn? _They_ are the reason that we have spent so many lonely nights without your father. There was a time when I too believed that they were good people. That was before I learned the truth."

Starting to pace Carina's face became more and more tense and Gwen felt herself getting angrier and angrier. "They care nothing for us. We are simply ingredients in spells they use. Spells they use to kill one another. Spells like the one that killed _your _father. And that is why we must stay away from them. Wizards are only kind when they want something. After that… we are useless, we are nothing… To them Gwendolyn you are nothing but a mere _pest._"

"No…" at first even Gwendolyn wasn't sure that it was she that had spoken. Her mother's green eyes lit on her.

"What did you say?"

Gwen felt the fear come rushing back but licking lips she tried to voice her opinion again. "I said, no…"

"You think I'm wrong? Prove it then. Would your friend…Rhonda here want to be friends with you if you didn't have something she wanted? Tell me, dear, why do you want to be Gwendolyn's friend?"

"She…"

"Leave _Raven_ alone. Leave _all_ of my friends alone. You know nothing about them. So don't judge them. They have been kind to me… a family to me…"

"_A family?_ You dare call them family when you so callously disregarded the family you had simply so you could play "witch"?"

"I'm not _playing_. I _am _a witch."

"_Half-_ witch! Also half- _fairy!_ You do not belong here Gwendolyn… With these people and their kind. You are my daughter, a Junta fairy."

"Wasn't I papa's daughter too? This was his world. And it's my world too." Gwen faced off with her mother and her friends were forgotten although she knew that they were watching the five of them anxious to see what would happen. But it wasn't them she had to convince she wanted to stay. They knew she did. It was her mother who needed to understand. "Mother… he…"

"He left, Gwendolyn. He left us. Even when I told him he wouldn't come back. That he would die that night for people who would never think of him. He would die and just be forgotten because there were others like him… But still he left. To protect the wizards…" Carina's face grew stormy and her green eyes glittered with tears. "He left even knowing that it meant he would never see you grow and never again be with me."

"I know and I never understood it. But now I do. He left because he believed in what he was doing. His parents died the same way, protecting others to their last breath. He did what was right."

"He did what the wizards told him to do!"

Suddenly anger filled Gwen and she felt tears gathering in her own eyes. "What would you have wanted him to do? Be a coward! To stay… He couldn't do that! That was not who he was! And you know it!"

"If being a coward means that he could live another day then he should have done that. If he loved us one bit then he would have stayed!"

"Mother, he did what he believed was right."

"He didn't care about us one way or another! He cared more for the wizards then he did us! He didn't care that he would never see you again… The wizards were…"

"You can't keep blaming the wizards!" The outburst seemed to shock everyone in the room. Taking a breath Gwen tried to calm herself and continued. "They had nothing to with it. One wizard killed him. _One._ All of the wizards are no more guilty for Papa's death then you and I are guilty for all the nasty things that fairies are fabled to have done. Can you argue that point?"

"More wizards have caused harm then any fae have. How dare you compare your proud heritage with this…_scum…_"

"I dare to compare them because they really are no different then us. They have the same wants and the same needs. They live in the same world as we do and everyday they go through the same trials we do."

"They don't have to face the torture of being different and heralded a misfit and an outsider!"

"Mother, it doesn't matter where you go or who you go with, someone will always be willing to point out your differences." She sighed. "Wizard, witch or muggle, even fae and giant would rather point out that you're different then they are then ever look for the similarities and the good because people of all kinds fear what they don't understand. But what matters is that there are some good people who will give you the chance. People like my friends… And whether or not you understand it, you _know_ that this is where I belong. Because as much as I am a fae, I am a witch."

"You are as stubborn as he was. Can't you see what they have done to you? They have corrupted you. Made you believe that you are one of them."

"I _am _one of them."

"NO! No… I will not lose you to them too! I will _not _have you desert me as your father did." Carina's eyes were suddenly gleaming as tears ran down her face. "No… Gwendolyn Dacha Gene Epiphysis Farr, you are coming home with me. And that is that…"

"No, that's not that! I am staying!"

**SLAP!**

Staggering back Gwen stared at her mother for a silent moment as everyone else froze. For a moment, it seemed that no one could move and then Sirius moved as if he were going to strike Gwen's mother. But she stopped him by holding out her hand. For a moment he just looked at her a silent rage reflecting ion his eyes… and then he stepped back his eyes still on her.

"Gwendolyn, I…" Carina looked as if she was going to apologize and then a hard look crossed her face and once again she was wrapped in her pride. "You see what happens when you don't listen to me. I would never have hit you if you hadn't been disrespectful."

"You're the one who's not listening, mother."

"I have been listening all too well, Gwendolyn… but nothing you have said has changed my mind about _their _kind."

Gwen sighed. "And nothing I ever say or _anyone_ ever says, for that matter, will change it. You just don't understand…" Tears filled Gwen's eyes but she fought to keep eye contact with her mother. "And I _need_ you to understand…"

She turned and looked at her friends even as the tears streaked down her face. She had to try even if her mother took her away in the end she _needed_ to try and make her understand. Gwendolyn would have nodded yes the moment her mother had walked in and maybe Gwendolyn would already be gone a distant speck on the horizon. But most certainly she would not be here one cheek marred by the still red bruise of a hand… But Gwen… Gwen was a whole other story…

"I do not know what made me come here. I was terrified at the very thought of coming here. Terrified… but eager… Papa had told me so many stories before he died. I don't remember all of them; I was too young to. But I remember sitting by the fireplace and he'd sit in his chair and he would smoke his pipe… and he'd talk. He'd tell me about this castle, how huge and intimidating it was and how beautiful. He told me about his friends, the ones he knew well and the ones that he hadn't known so well but remembered. He told me about Professors Dumbledore and Flitwick and Madam Pomfrey and… and so many that barely remember their names… He told me everything he remembered about this place… But it was what he always say every night before I went to bed that I remember most… 'Gwen, I hope one day you can go there… I want you to see what I did and more… I want you to have more than I did… Because…' "

" ' You deserve the best, because you are the best thing that has ever happen to me…' I know what he said. He said the same thing every night, right before he left and I was always unsure if he would come home. Then I had that vision and I told him. Gwendolyn, I _told him,_ 'You're not coming back. If you step out that door you're not coming back. He'll kill you.' But he went anyway. And you know what he said to me? It made absolutely no sense. 'Then I'll make them proud.' And off he went to save his _wizards_."

Gwen looked at her mother for a moment and then shook her head. "Didn't you know…? His parents died in the line of duty…" Shock emanated from Carina's eyes and Gwen frowned slightly. "He never told you…? They died protecting people…like he did. And he made a promise to himself. He would protect people… like you and me. So we could live how we choose. And he promised himself that if he died… he would die for those very same people."

Gwen hesitated. Her mother seemed too shocked to say anything but she was almost afraid to push it. She could make her mother see but… it was so…_hard?_

_Life is hard. Life will always be hard. The thing is… You have to learn to face it. You have to learn to put down your foot and say for once, "This is **my** choice. This is **my** life."_

Sirius' words rang through her head and she turned to look at him a moment. His silver eyes were watching her intently as if waiting… Turning back she faced her mother. "All my life I lived secluded. Away from wizards, away from muggles… In a world you created to heal your broken heart... In a world I never wanted to be in. I may be different then my friends, but those differences don't matter. Because I've come to learn here that at heart we're all the same. But what sets us apart is our choices. Which makes my next choice the hardest of all... I love you mama, but this place is a part of me. It's the missing piece that I never knew existed. Which is why I choose this… This is my life… my choice…please... understand..."

Her last words were almost small and hesitant but she waited with dread that filled her heart. Still frozen with shock Carina seemed at lost for words but Gwen knew what she said would not be taken easily. Standing tall she looked at her mother and waited. She waited for the blast of anger, for the flood gates her decision would surely open. She waited to be told that she couldn't make that choice because it wasn't hers to make. She waited for all that and more. _Alone._

Then Sirius' hand was warmly enclosed around hers and she looked at him in surprise. For a moment she had completely forgotten he was even there. His silver eyes twinkled down into hers and she found herself smiling in return.

Then on her other side Raven placed her hand softly on her shoulder. Hazel eyes glimmered into hers as Raven squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. Behind her Remus, Lily and James stood each of them smiling and supporting her in her decision.

From across the room Carina Farr watched this as if she were some outside viewer. She watched her daughter's face usually so sad or filled with no emotion at all suddenly flood with happiness. The Gwendolyn she knew had never smiled like that, not since she was a little girl and Gideon had been alive…

Then Gwendolyn looked at her and the happiness seemed to dim and change. Apprehensively she gazed at her mother with wide chocolate eyes… Eyes like Gideon… For a moment she saw Gideon looking at her his kind eyes shinning with laughter… his eyes looking at her for forgiveness as he had walked out that door that last night…

"_Carina…_ _Please understand. It is my world and as much as I love you… I made myself a promise a long timebefore you and I had ever met. Long before…"_

"_So break the promise!" she had yelled at him, tears she hadn't even known were there streaming down her face. "Save yourself! Because if you go tonight he'll kill you! I **saw **it! He'll kill you…"_

"_Rina, every night I go there's a chance…"_

"_But this time it's not just a chance! He'll kill you! Don't go… please Gideon… I can't raise Gwendolyn alone… I can't… I can't go on without you… I love you, please, don't go…?"_

_For a moment he had wavered his eyes uncertain and then he looked at her sadly. "Rina, could you really love a coward?"_

"_Yes…"She had said the word immediately and all too quickly._

"_If I stay… Rina, it's not who I am… And you… I love you so much… but I have to go. You don't understand and… I **need **you to understand." He reached out his hand and ran it down the side of her face cupping her cheek and tilting her chin so she looked up into his eyes. Eyes the color of chocolate as deep and wide as the ocean and infinitely beautiful…_

Eyes that now glimmered from Gwendolyn's face and begged her to understand, as she had not all those years ago. After Gideon had made her look up into his eyes she had torn herself away ands felt her heart splitting in two silently. She had refused to say good-bye to him. Had even refused to look at him at all. But when she had heard him walking into the Gwendolyn's room and heard him sit down on their daughter's bed. She heard his deep voice and she heard Gwen's high and quiet voice.

The tears had come again but even when Gideon had murmured he was leaving she hadn't looked up… And then he was gone… Never again to be seen. She had refused to let him do what she knew he had to do… Could she really do that to her daughter…? And what if Gwendolyn never returned and she… she was left alone? Again…?

Inside she felt a small part of her heart warming and melting and then slowly breaking, as she had never allowed it to before. Then again… how could she not? How could she keep her daughter from a place that was part of her…?

Gwendolyn was so much her father's daughter. She had not only his looks and kind soul… but also his loving heart. And she belonged here in this world as much as if she had been born a pure blood witch. How could she have not seen it? She could no more take Gwendolyn away from this place then tear out her own heart. Because it was a part of her…

"Gwendolyn… You are…truly your father's daughter…" Carina felt a part of her heart again splitting. "But I shall expect you to return home as soon as the school year is done."

"I… You mean…I can stay?"

"Well,until the end of the year. No point in making Dumbledore waste time on searching for a lost student when you could make things easier on him. Hogwarts doesn't need a dose of Fae magic. At least, no more than it already has… that is… I'll return for you at the Hogsmeade Station on the last day." She nodded curtly to the others behind Gwen and then her eyes went to Sirius and Gwen's entwined hands. "_You…_ You must be that boy… Sirius Black, yes?"

Sirius stood straighter as she looked directly at him, her eyes and that made her frown almost glaringly. "Yes ma'am."

"Mr. Black… Take good care of my daughter…or else…"

"Yes ma'am…" he said and smiled as she nodded quietly to him a small smile twitching onto her lips. She looked at her daughter sideways and smiled fully. "I like him."

Turning she moved to the windowsill which no one had noticed was open. With a fling of her arm she was shrinking and her wings growing. Then she was a tiny fairy and in a zing of fairy dust she flew out the window and out into the night. Gwen rushed to the window and watched her fly. Like a shooting star, green against the black horizon, she disappeared into the night…

And Gwen finally felt…at peace. Turning back she saw her friends staring at her. And she felt at a loss for words. She was just so happy… she had done it. She had finally done it!

Raven smiled "Hey...The foodsgetting cold... come on!I'm starving… Let's eat…"

Gwen smiled and then she laughed. She couldn't help it. She was finally… free to make her own life. Turning one last time she looked up at the stars and then she closed the window. Moving to Sirius side she took his hand and they headed back to the couches where the food had lain forgotten…

_Life's hard… but sometimes… you really can win…_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Well, there you have it... I suppose that's about all there is to Gwen's story. Still I can't help but think more should happen... What do you think? Should Gwen face even more trouble before the year ends? Or should everthing be smooth sailing? I want to know. Because I had some ideas but I wasn't sure I should add them or not... Tell me what you think and once again thanks for all the support and reviews!


	24. Thank you, it is the end

Dear Readers,

Thank you to all my readers. It has taken me nearly two years since I began my tale with Gwendolyn, Raven, Lily and the Maurauders of Hogwarts and really, their story is done. The characters, without growth and time to age, cannot go any further and it is something that I have come to finally realize. Gwen will continue to move on and live in her world that has been created, but For now, the story of 16 year old Gwendolyn Dacha Gene Epipysis Farr, and her fifth year in Hogwarts is done. As she is now, she cannot move any further. So I am going to move on.

A reader suggested to me this past year to continue the story later, and so I'm going to. What it shall be called I cannot say, yet. But I have begun to write. Gwendolyn isn't ready to leave me just yet. She has haunted me these past few years and getting her to live in the old story wasn't possible and I was too stubborn to admit it. So thank you, for being so patient. And thank you for reading and being so kind to me. No one has ever been more greatful and Gwendolyn will return. There are always more obstacles to overcome and love brings on the biggest one of them all. She and Sirius have a life to live and a story to give and I promise you will all be the first to know.

Sincerely,

Angel


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